It’s a sunny morning, and you arrive at work with a smile on your face. You have a good job, great colleagues, and the company culture is pretty fine. But then you get to your desk, start getting through your e-mails, and your face twists. You realize that your boss has left you to take care of another one or two of those long, annoying, and trivial tasks that would be insignificant even for an intern on their first day. If only they would let up for a minute! But instead of doing that, they keep piling on the pressure until you eventually break down. There is nothing worse than being stuck working for someone that you can’t stand. And if that someone is impossible to please and unreasonable, then it can make life at work very difficult despite all the other good things.
But don’t despair yet! We have collected some of the best boss jokes that are sure to help lighten the mood around the office. These jokes about the boss are sure to lift everyone’s spirit and make you burst out laughing! And if, instead of a horrible boss, you actually have a great director who knows how to take a joke, why don’t you share these ones with them too?
(Disclaimer - We don’t take responsibility if you get fired.)
#61 Pressure? I’ll just sing instead
My new boss asked if I could perform under pressure. I said, “No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody”
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#62 When Your Boss Actually Means It
The cop wanted to retire from his job as a traffic officer. His boss gave him the green light.
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#63 Guess Who’s Watching Your Windows
I work for a window cleaning firm. My boss often does spot checks.
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#64 Silent savage energy
What’s the best way to criticize your boss?
Do it quietly so they can’t hear you.
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#65 Wait, You Heard That Too?
I heard my boss say I was worth paying attention to. He was telling a security guard.
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#66 Me pretending that was funny
If your boss cracks a joke at your expense and you laugh “ahahahahagivemaraisehahaha.“
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#67 We’re Already In The Meeting
Boss: "Can I see you in my office?"
Me: "Well, you can see me right now, I'm sitting next to you while you email me."
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#68 Sheep Takes No Crap
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer.
“All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep.
“What did you say?” challenged the farmer.
The sheep glared back and growled... “You herd me.”
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#69 Luck’s a Filter Now, Apparently
With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on 50 and toss the rest.
“Throw away 250 resumes?” I asked, shocked. “What if the best candidates are in there?”
He thought for a moment and said, “You have a point but then again, I don’t need people with bad luck around here.”
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#70 When the mentor club hits different
My boss pulled me into his office. He sighed and said, "Look...when it comes to drinking on the job, I haven't got much tolerance."
"That's okay," I replied, "I was a rookie once too."
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#71 When Your Paycheck Is Literal Veggies
I quit my job after my boss started paying me in vegetables. I couldn’t live off of that celery.
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#72 At Least I’m Consistent
My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”
I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
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#73 When the boss pops off, you rise up
Got promoted at the bakery after my overweight boss died. I've got some big chouxs to fill.
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#74 Posture check: Nervous already
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it’s going to be me.
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#75 Plot twist: I’m undercover
My boss: "You’re fired."
Me: "*Turns in gun and badge*"
My boss: "You’re a waiter, where did you get those."
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#76 This Boss-Employee Banter Is Peak 2024
An employee asks his boss, "Can I have two weeks off for Christmas?"
His boss replied, "It's May..."
To which the employee responded, "Oh, sorry. May I have two weeks off for Christmas?"
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#77 Boss energy: 100% lost already
My boss came to me at lunch:
"Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to find you all morning!"
I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!"
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#78 Plot twist: He’s the boss now
A man receives a call at work:
His boss asks him, "Who was that?"
"Just some random guy."
"Call him back NOW!"
The man calls back and says, "911, what's your emergency?"
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#79 Unleashing Keyboard Kung Fu
John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping."
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#80 Peak workplace vibes
A boss is like a seagull. He flies in and makes a lot of noise. He drools all over everything.
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