It’s a sunny morning, and you arrive at work with a smile on your face. You have a good job, great colleagues, and the company culture is pretty fine. But then you get to your desk, start getting through your e-mails, and your face twists. You realize that your boss has left you to take care of another one or two of those long, annoying, and trivial tasks that would be insignificant even for an intern on their first day. If only they would let up for a minute! But instead of doing that, they keep piling on the pressure until you eventually break down. There is nothing worse than being stuck working for someone that you can’t stand. And if that someone is impossible to please and unreasonable, then it can make life at work very difficult despite all the other good things.
But don’t despair yet! We have collected some of the best boss jokes that are sure to help lighten the mood around the office. These jokes about the boss are sure to lift everyone’s spirit and make you burst out laughing! And if, instead of a horrible boss, you actually have a great director who knows how to take a joke, why don’t you share these ones with them too?
(Disclaimer - We don’t take responsibility if you get fired.)
#41 When Your Brain Hits Pause
Boss: "Got it?"
Me: "Got it."
Brain: "Got what."
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#42 Guess I’m just here for the car fund
My boss arrived at work in a brand new Lamborghini. I said “Wow that’s an amazing car.”
“If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year.”
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#43 Hammers Don’t Need Lab Rats
A boss and his employee are discussing the testing of their products:
Employee : "We have got to stop testing our products on animals."
Boss : "Oh yeah ? Other companies do it all the time , so why shouldn't we ?"
Employee : "Yeah that's good and all but we make hammers."
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#44 Weekend plans: fashionably late, as always
Boss: "Can you work this weekend?"
Me: "Yeah no worries but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends."
Boss: "What time will you get here?"
Me: "Monday."
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#45 Perfect excuse level: Expert
Boss: "You've got to find a way to make fewer mistakes on the job."
Worker: "Ok, how about I come in later in the morning?"
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#46 That’ll teach me to be too hands-on
I got fired from my job as a massage therapist. My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way.
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#47 When nerves turn into job offers
Boss: "Why do you-"
Me: "*sshhh*"
Boss: "What is your biggest wea-"
Me: "*sshhh*"
Boss: "(whispering) you're hired. Welcome to the library."
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#48 Classic boss energy right there
My boss called me and said, "Why didn't you call me back when you said you would 3 hours ago?!"
I told him, "When did I say that...? I don't recall..."
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#49 Brick by brick, chaos incoming
Boss, I left a huge masonry order on your desk. When you see it, you'll ship bricks.
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#50 Living the Punchline Life
I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian.
He said, "You can't be serious."
I said, "I know."
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#51 Classic excuse level: expert
Me: "Boss, I'm sorry I am late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: "Hard drive?"
Me: "No, the commute was fine. It was my computer."
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#52 Pun intended, nailed it
Boss: “How good are you at PowerPoint?”
Me: “I Excel at it.”
Boss: “Was that a Microsoft Office pun?”
Me: “Word.”
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#53 Math roast? Ouch, boss!
My boss said my math skills are average. That’s just mean.
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#54 Plot twist with zero chill
My coworker said to me, “If the boss doesn’t take back what he said to me, I’m leaving the company.”
I asked, “What did he say?”
“Leave the company.”
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#55 Quitting Felt Better Anyway
My boss accused me of stealing, and fired me from my job at the furniture store. But I regret nothing, sometimes you have to take a stand.
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#56 Math Skills Not Included
Me: "Can I leave work early?"
Boss: "Only if you make up the time."
Me: "Ok, 45 past 60."
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#57 Lame Excuses Win Sometimes
I called my boss this morning.
“I won’t be coming in today,” I said. “My legs aren’t working properly.”
“What kind of excuse is that?” He asked.
I replied, “A lame excuse.”
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#58 Clueless And Unbothered
Told my boss I would leave my job because they weren’t giving me sufficient training.
“Well, you know where the door is,” he said.
I said, “Actually no, I don’t.”
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#59 Guess I’m a crystal ball now
My new boss told me that he expects me to be on call 24/7. But I don’t really mind as the 24th of July is ages away.
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#60 When Your Boss Thinks You’re Extra Well-Done
At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak and my boss said, “I like it well done!” I said, “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
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