Have you ever laughed so hard at a joke that you knew was inappropriate but couldn’t help yourself? That’s the power of dark humor jokes, an art form that literary critics have associated with authors as early as the ancient Greeks! It feels like black humor is designed to make you giggle at the most inappropriate times. But the point is, sometimes we need to laugh at the bad things life throws at us with a well-delivered dark joke, even though those around us may find it offensive.
So this is a call to all the dark comedy junkies out there! Are you tired of those lame vanilla jokes that could be good for a kid but not for your twisted sense of humor? Are you craving your daily fix of messed-up jokes? What a happy coincidence! You are in luck because today is the day we gather all the best dark humor jokes we fell in love with and share them with you. So let’s get started, shall we?
#101
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
unknown
Report35points
#102
My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord.
It's a good thing he drives a Civic.
It's a good thing he drives a Civic.
unknown
Report35points
#103
My therapist said time heals all wounds.
So I stabbed her.
So I stabbed her.
unknown
Report35points
#104
Since the pandemic started, my husband just stands there sadly looking through the window.
I should probably go let him inside.
I should probably go let him inside.
unknown
Report34points
#105
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
He never talks about it.
unknown
Report34points
#106
I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes.
Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
unknown
Report33points
#107
Patient: "Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation."
Doctor: "Don’t worry. Mine too."
Doctor: "Don’t worry. Mine too."
unknown
Report33points
#108
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
unknown
Report32points
#109
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be alive.
unknown
Report32points
#110
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
unknown
Report31points
#111
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
Because he’s dead.
unknown
Report30points
#112
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
It was impossible to put down.
unknown
Report29points
#113
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?", the patient asked.
"To the morgue," the doctor replied.
"What?", the patient panicked. "But I'm not dead yet!"
"And we're not there yet," the doctor said.
"To the morgue," the doctor replied.
"What?", the patient panicked. "But I'm not dead yet!"
"And we're not there yet," the doctor said.
unknown
Report29points
#114
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas?
No idea. She hasn’t opened her present yet.
No idea. She hasn’t opened her present yet.
unknown
Report29points
#115
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Stab it twenty-three times.
unknown
Report28points
#116
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital?
Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
unknown
Report28points
#117
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
unknown
Report28points
#118
The cemetery is so crowded.
People are just dying to get in.
People are just dying to get in.
unknown
Report28points
#119
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words: “Erase my search history, son.”
unknown
Report28points
#120
Patient: "Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
unknown
Report28points