Have you ever laughed so hard at a joke that you knew was inappropriate but couldn’t help yourself? That’s the power of dark humor jokes, an art form that literary critics have associated with authors as early as the ancient Greeks! It feels like black humor is designed to make you giggle at the most inappropriate times. But the point is, sometimes we need to laugh at the bad things life throws at us with a well-delivered dark joke, even though those around us may find it offensive.
So this is a call to all the dark comedy junkies out there! Are you tired of those lame vanilla jokes that could be good for a kid but not for your twisted sense of humor? Are you craving your daily fix of messed-up jokes? What a happy coincidence! You are in luck because today is the day we gather all the best dark humor jokes we fell in love with and share them with you. So let’s get started, shall we?
#41
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
unknown
Report67points
#42
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working."
I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
unknown
Report66points
#43
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad", the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad", the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
unknown
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#44
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?”
“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
unknown
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#45
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
unknown
Report65points
#46
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Guess who came crawling back?
unknown
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#47
"I work with animals," the guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
unknown
Report64points
#48
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
unknown
Report63points
#49
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
A brick.
unknown
Report62points
#50
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield?
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
unknown
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#51
My wife says making love is even better on holiday.
I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
unknown
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#52
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!
unknown
Report59points
#53
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
unknown
Report58points
#54
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
My dad didn't beat cancer.
unknown
Report58points
#55
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911.
"My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
"My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
unknown
Report57points
#56
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
unknown
Report56points
#57
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
unknown
Report56points
#58
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.
He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.
unknown
Report56points
#59
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
unknown
Report55points
#60
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
unknown
Report55points