Everyone is familiar with unfading classics in the comedy world, but we wouldn’t stretch it too far to nominate bar jokes as king of them all. They are like little bundles of laughter shared in the heart of good company. They can be great conversation starters, too!
From the classic “man walks into a bar” tales to clever bartender jokes, these quips promise to tickle your funny bone. Bars are not just for jokes and drinks, though. You can hear many remarkable stories, explore various people’s lives, and make new friends. And all those are connected by the specific humor in your local pub.
Whether you’re a seasoned bar hopper looking for the next couple of one-liner jokes, you can tell your drinking buddies or just seeking a chuckle, this collection will offer you a delightful escape into the realm of humor.
So, with no further ado, dive into this list and hold on to your chairs! You’ll have a difficult time remaining seated due to laughter. Share with your family and friends and make their day brighter, too.
#81
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Why the wrong face?”
The bartender says, “Why the wrong face?”
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#82
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. “I can’t serve you,” replies the bartender. “You’re Bard!”
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#83
Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve bacteria here.” The bacteria say, “But we work here, we’re staph.”
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#84
Who do ghosts like to haunt bars?
Free boos.
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#85
A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Please, no stories!”
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#86
A guy walks out of a bar on the moon, complaining "The drinks were ok but there is no atmosphere."
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#87
A lion walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?”
The bartender shakes his head sadly and says, “No, sorry. Why don’t you try the circus?”
The lion replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
The bartender shakes his head sadly and says, “No, sorry. Why don’t you try the circus?”
The lion replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
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#88
A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a pint, please." The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of your head."
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#89
So this guy limped into a bar and the bartender asks, “What’s with the limp?” The guy says, “Two surgeons just gave me a knee replacement.” To which the bartender asked, “Joint operation?”
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#90
Elvis walks into a bar, says “Love me, tender”, and the bartender holds him gently, strokes his quiff and they grow old together.
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#91
A rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Where did you get that?” The parrot says, “Brooklyn, they’re everywhere!”
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#92
Jimmy Wales* walks into a bar…
[citation needed]
*co-founder of Wikipedia
[citation needed]
*co-founder of Wikipedia
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#93
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke.
No joke.
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#94
A run-on sentence walks into a bar and starts flirting with a cute little sentence fragment.
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#95
A beaver walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Close the dam door!”
The bartender says, “Close the dam door!”
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#96
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
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#97
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
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#98
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a pint and a mop.”
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#99
A Scottish man walks into a bar…
There’s usually an Irish man and English man in this joke, but they’re still at the Rugby World Cup.
There’s usually an Irish man and English man in this joke, but they’re still at the Rugby World Cup.
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#100
A guy walks into a bar and throws a prawn cocktail at the bartender.
“And that’s just for starters”, he says.
“And that’s just for starters”, he says.
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