Babies, the blabbering bundles of bliss! What our lives would be without their fat cannoli legs, bald oddly-shaped heads, hilariously tiny chubby fingers, the softest butts imaginable, and a stream of subconscious gibberish pouring from their toothless mouths? Probably sleeping soundly through the night, not scrubbing off puke from our favorite T-shirts, and not stepping into puddles of unknown origin with our warmest plushie socks. This duality of human babies and the inherently different likes and dislikes shared with their adult life-givers (starting with the love and hate for naps and ending with favorite foods) are the greatest conflicts known for any scriptwriter, movie director, and jokester. Thus, there’s no surprise that jokes dedicated to babies are aplenty and are simply the greatest. At least to the parents, because babies haven’t declared their positions on the matter as of yet, and we cannot speak in their place.
So, baby jokes - some are dedicated to their creepy laughs, others to their sense of fashion, and of course, there are the ones talking about their eating habits. However, you must believe that all these baby puns and jokes definitely came straight out of somebody’s experience of raising their spawn, so besides being funny, they are also good material on what to expect when you have your own tiny human. Unimaginably, it is not all fun and games! Who could’ve thought?!
Anyway, prepare to laugh rambunctiously at the hilarious jokes you’re about to find just a couple of inches below. Just be sure to contain it if you have a soundly sleeping baby next to you, or he’ll be the one that’s bellowing but for slightly different reasons than you. After you’re done skimming through these funny baby jokes, vote for the ones that hit closest to home and share this article with your friends!
#121

My friend’s gambling is getting out of hand. He just bet his newborn son in our game of poker. And I thought I might have to raise him.
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#122
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, “I want to call my little baby Ellie.” The nurse replies, “I’m sorry, but that name is already taken. Perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153.”
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#123
Do you know how Stonehenge came to be? By Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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#124

The best part of parenting is the day you realize that you have become everything that you hated about your parents!
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#125
Do you like your new baby sister? She’s all right. Do you play with her? No, and we can’t even send her back because she’s been here more than 28 days.
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#126
Babies are not at all complicated because they have only three moods: crying, finished crying, and just about to cry.
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#127

Can you remember what you called your security blanket back when you were little? Not really, I am drawing a blankie.
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#128
What would you say to someone with a new baby? I'd say, "What happened to the old one?"
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#129
Why was a baby drop of ink weeping? Because her dad was in a pen, and she didn't know the duration of his sentence.
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#130

What did the mom snake say to her crying baby snake? She told him to quit crying and viper his nose.
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#131
What did the Pharaohs make use of to keep babies quiet? They used Egyptian dummies.
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#132
Why did the new mom demand a wage from the hospital? Because she wanted them to compensate her for the labor.
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#133

What type of poodles do babies love the most? Toy.
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#134
Which app helps babies to look at thousands of photos of their grandparents? Insta-gran.
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#135
Where do all babies post status updates about their feelings? Babybook.
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#136

A Chinese baby was born way too early... So, his parents named him Sudden Lee.
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#137
What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never drop a bag of cocaine.
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#138
A lot of people don't laugh at my dead baby jokes. And that's fine. I guess you had to be there.
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#139

What did the mama Llama say to the baby llama as they prepared for a picnic?Alpaca lunch.
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#140
I recently had the opportunity to eat baby wookie. The taste was great, but the meat was a little chewy.
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