Babies, the blabbering bundles of bliss! What our lives would be without their fat cannoli legs, bald oddly-shaped heads, hilariously tiny chubby fingers, the softest butts imaginable, and a stream of subconscious gibberish pouring from their toothless mouths? Probably sleeping soundly through the night, not scrubbing off puke from our favorite T-shirts, and not stepping into puddles of unknown origin with our warmest plushie socks. This duality of human babies and the inherently different likes and dislikes shared with their adult life-givers (starting with the love and hate for naps and ending with favorite foods) are the greatest conflicts known for any scriptwriter, movie director, and jokester. Thus, there’s no surprise that jokes dedicated to babies are aplenty and are simply the greatest. At least to the parents, because babies haven’t declared their positions on the matter as of yet, and we cannot speak in their place.
So, baby jokes - some are dedicated to their creepy laughs, others to their sense of fashion, and of course, there are the ones talking about their eating habits. However, you must believe that all these baby puns and jokes definitely came straight out of somebody’s experience of raising their spawn, so besides being funny, they are also good material on what to expect when you have your own tiny human. Unimaginably, it is not all fun and games! Who could’ve thought?!
Anyway, prepare to laugh rambunctiously at the hilarious jokes you’re about to find just a couple of inches below. Just be sure to contain it if you have a soundly sleeping baby next to you, or he’ll be the one that’s bellowing but for slightly different reasons than you. After you’re done skimming through these funny baby jokes, vote for the ones that hit closest to home and share this article with your friends!
#101
Who held the baby octopus for ransom? Squidnappers.
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#102
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn’t get his way? He whale-d.
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#103

The moment baby falls asleep… The phone rings, the siblings fight, the door slams, and the dogs bark. Never fails!
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#104
Why did the infant go on a diet? She wanted to lose her baby fat.
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#105
How does a baby ghost cry? “Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!”
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#106

What are baby witches called? Halloweenies.
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#107
Why was the baby drop of ink crying? His mom was in the pen, and he didn’t know how long her sentence was.
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#108
Between Mr Bigger, Mrs Bigger, and their baby, who's the biggest? Their baby, because she's a little bigger.
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#109

Why did the baby candy put her dad in the freezer? Probably because she wanted an ice pop.
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#110
Which Led Zeppelin album do babies adore? It's Infant Through The Out Door.
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#111
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
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#112

My mum loses it when I tickle my baby brother's feet. It's something about waiting until he is born or whatever.
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#113
What did the baby corn call his dad? Popcorn.
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#114
As I moved my hand up her leg I said, "Baby, your legs are the sauce. I'm going to name them Sweet and Sour." And then I discovered they came with McNuggets.
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#115

Every day I go down to the harbour and throw fish to a baby dolphin. My friends say it's a waste of time. But at least I'm serving a youthful porpoise.
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#116
My wife is having a baby with another man, she says it's a grudge baby... Someone had it in for me.
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#117
How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep? You rocket.
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#118

Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on? No, they’re stork naked!
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#119
Where do baby fish sleep? In a bass-inet.
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#120
Did you hear the joke about Sean Connery’s brother’s newborn daughter? It’s a little niche.
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