Babies, the blabbering bundles of bliss! What our lives would be without their fat cannoli legs, bald oddly-shaped heads, hilariously tiny chubby fingers, the softest butts imaginable, and a stream of subconscious gibberish pouring from their toothless mouths? Probably sleeping soundly through the night, not scrubbing off puke from our favorite T-shirts, and not stepping into puddles of unknown origin with our warmest plushie socks. This duality of human babies and the inherently different likes and dislikes shared with their adult life-givers (starting with the love and hate for naps and ending with favorite foods) are the greatest conflicts known for any scriptwriter, movie director, and jokester. Thus, there’s no surprise that jokes dedicated to babies are aplenty and are simply the greatest. At least to the parents, because babies haven’t declared their positions on the matter as of yet, and we cannot speak in their place.
So, baby jokes - some are dedicated to their creepy laughs, others to their sense of fashion, and of course, there are the ones talking about their eating habits. However, you must believe that all these baby puns and jokes definitely came straight out of somebody’s experience of raising their spawn, so besides being funny, they are also good material on what to expect when you have your own tiny human. Unimaginably, it is not all fun and games! Who could’ve thought?!
Anyway, prepare to laugh rambunctiously at the hilarious jokes you’re about to find just a couple of inches below. Just be sure to contain it if you have a soundly sleeping baby next to you, or he’ll be the one that’s bellowing but for slightly different reasons than you. After you’re done skimming through these funny baby jokes, vote for the ones that hit closest to home and share this article with your friends!
#41
What do baby pythons play with? Rattlesnakes.
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#42
How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.
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#43

What’s a group of chubby newborns called? Heavy infantry.
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#44
When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn’t he have an L-plate?
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#45
What would you call a baby who's a stand-up comedian? A kidder.
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#46

Which rapper can't babies get enough of? Childish Gambino.
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#47
Which Beastie Boy is the favorite of all the babies? A+D rock.
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#48
What social media app helps babies fall asleep by playing monotonous and long-winded conversations? Napchat.
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#49

I slept like a baby last night. I woke every two hours and cried.
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#50
Elton John found a baby rabbit at the gym the other day. It's a little fit bunny...
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#51
I saw a baby owl caught in the rain. It was a moist owlet.
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#52

How do you stop a baby from spinning on the ground? You nail his other hand to the ground.
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#53
What do you call a group of baby soldiers? An infantry.
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#54
Parent to her friend: "I'm exhausted. I was up with the baby until 4 a.m." Friend: "It's probably not good to keep a baby up that late."
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#55

There was a dad who tried to keep his wife happy through labor by telling jokes, but she didn't laugh once. Know why? It was the delivery.
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#56
What did the new parent say upon seeing "16-28 pounds" on the side of the diaper box? "That's one huge bowel movement."
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#57
How did the baby tell her mom she had a wet diaper? She sent her a pee-mail.
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#58

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t!" Can’t!” “Doctor, what’s going on?” asked the concerned father-to-be. “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
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#59
I think the hospital accidentally switched our babies at birth… They’re identical twins, so it’s hard to be sure.
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#60
I rushed to the hospital when I heard my cousin could neither walk nor speak… Apparently all newborns are like that.
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