Babies, the blabbering bundles of bliss! What our lives would be without their fat cannoli legs, bald oddly-shaped heads, hilariously tiny chubby fingers, the softest butts imaginable, and a stream of subconscious gibberish pouring from their toothless mouths? Probably sleeping soundly through the night, not scrubbing off puke from our favorite T-shirts, and not stepping into puddles of unknown origin with our warmest plushie socks. This duality of human babies and the inherently different likes and dislikes shared with their adult life-givers (starting with the love and hate for naps and ending with favorite foods) are the greatest conflicts known for any scriptwriter, movie director, and jokester. Thus, there’s no surprise that jokes dedicated to babies are aplenty and are simply the greatest. At least to the parents, because babies haven’t declared their positions on the matter as of yet, and we cannot speak in their place.
So, baby jokes - some are dedicated to their creepy laughs, others to their sense of fashion, and of course, there are the ones talking about their eating habits. However, you must believe that all these baby puns and jokes definitely came straight out of somebody’s experience of raising their spawn, so besides being funny, they are also good material on what to expect when you have your own tiny human. Unimaginably, it is not all fun and games! Who could’ve thought?!
Anyway, prepare to laugh rambunctiously at the hilarious jokes you’re about to find just a couple of inches below. Just be sure to contain it if you have a soundly sleeping baby next to you, or he’ll be the one that’s bellowing but for slightly different reasons than you. After you’re done skimming through these funny baby jokes, vote for the ones that hit closest to home and share this article with your friends!
#61

Did you hear about the baby turkeys that were all upset? They were crying fowl.
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#62
What do triplets need more of than single babies? More womb!
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#63
Mrs. Goat: “Honey, we’re going to have a baby!” Mr. Goat: “You’re kidding.”
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#64

Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and Baby Tomato are walking down the road. Baby Tomato starts to lag behind. Papa Tomato becomes angry, goes up to Baby Tomato, squeezes him, and says, “Catch up!”
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#65
What do you call a boat that just got a baby dinghy? A mother ship.
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#66
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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#67

What did the doctor say when the pregnant woman gave birth to a frozen pizza? “It’s not delivery; it’s DiGiorno!”
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#68
When potatoes have babies, what are they called? Tater tots.
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#69
Why can't a parent change a light bulb? Because they don't make diapers small enough.
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#70

My baby just ate a bunch of scrabble tiles. The next diaper change could spell disaster.
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#71
Mom: “You’re growing up now, so you don’t need a bottle all the time.” Baby: “I could say the same to you, mother.”
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#72
Why did the baby monster ask his father to stand in the freezer? Because he wanted a frozen pop!
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#73

Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can’t carry the mother.
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#74
What did Mother Goose name her newborn son? Ryan Gosling.
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#75
Parenting is mastering the art of a one-minute-poop and a half-a-minute shower! Yes, and even the art of forgetting when you showered last!
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#76

Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it’s a nappy time.
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#77
I read a book on prime numbers to my baby son. And I had his undivided attention.
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#78
What do you tell someone if they ask you if they should have babies after 40? I'd say, "No, 40 babies are more than enough."
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#79

Did you hear about the lady that recently had a sea section? I heard that she had a bouncing baby buoy.
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#80
What would you call it if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake? It'd be a bouncing baby boa.
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