Babies, the blabbering bundles of bliss! What our lives would be without their fat cannoli legs, bald oddly-shaped heads, hilariously tiny chubby fingers, the softest butts imaginable, and a stream of subconscious gibberish pouring from their toothless mouths? Probably sleeping soundly through the night, not scrubbing off puke from our favorite T-shirts, and not stepping into puddles of unknown origin with our warmest plushie socks. This duality of human babies and the inherently different likes and dislikes shared with their adult life-givers (starting with the love and hate for naps and ending with favorite foods) are the greatest conflicts known for any scriptwriter, movie director, and jokester. Thus, there’s no surprise that jokes dedicated to babies are aplenty and are simply the greatest. At least to the parents, because babies haven’t declared their positions on the matter as of yet, and we cannot speak in their place.
So, baby jokes - some are dedicated to their creepy laughs, others to their sense of fashion, and of course, there are the ones talking about their eating habits. However, you must believe that all these baby puns and jokes definitely came straight out of somebody’s experience of raising their spawn, so besides being funny, they are also good material on what to expect when you have your own tiny human. Unimaginably, it is not all fun and games! Who could’ve thought?!
Anyway, prepare to laugh rambunctiously at the hilarious jokes you’re about to find just a couple of inches below. Just be sure to contain it if you have a soundly sleeping baby next to you, or he’ll be the one that’s bellowing but for slightly different reasons than you. After you’re done skimming through these funny baby jokes, vote for the ones that hit closest to home and share this article with your friends!
#21
What do babies usually play in a band? They play guitars hooked up to 'Waah! Waah! Pedals'.
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#22

Do you know what a baby computer calls his old man? Data.
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#23
Did you hear what the couple who met while working at an instruction book company named their kid? Manuel.
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#24
Jake: “My mom is having a new baby.” Joy: “What’s wrong with the old one?”
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#25

What did the fire say to her husband after their son’s birth? “Honey… this is Arson.”
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#26
What do you call a group of baby garbage bins? A litter.
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#27
What did Frosty the Snowman and his partner put over their baby’s crib? A snowmobile!
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#28

“I don’t always drink milk. But when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.” — The Most Interesting Baby in the World.
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#29
Why is that baby still in diapers? I’ll give you two reasons: number 1 and number 2.
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#30
My newborn son made such a fuss when the doctor cut his umbilical cord. He had really grown attached to it.
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#31

What did the Roman emperor name his chubby newborn? Voluminous.
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#32
How do storks deliver babies? They deliver them stork naked.
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#33
What do you do when your baby is being fussy? I'll pacify it.
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#34
A German couple has a baby... For 4 years he makes no sound, does not speak. Then one day the mother gives him soup, he says “This soup is cold.” The parents are amazed and ask “If you can talk, why have you not spoken before?” The child replies “Up to now everything has been satisfactory!”
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#35

A baby roach asks his dad what happens if they get sprayed with Raid. Papa Roach said, “Suffocation, no breathing.”
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#36
Why did the man bring his pregnant wife a small lizard? She told him to pick up a baby monitor.
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#37

Why didn’t the baby want to be born? Because it didn’t want to give up its free womb and board!
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#38
What did Baby corn say to Mama corn? “Where is Pop corn?”
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#39
Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool.
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#40

What do you give a pig with a diaper rash? Oinkment.
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