For someone who feasts on human brains every chance they get, you’d think zombies should be as smart as your average Brainy McBrain. However, literature and pop culture decided that no matter how many body parts you eat, you’ll still be just a moany, slightly rotten, limping scarecrow! Now, although that does seem a bit illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any cool jokes to be made about zombies. On the contrary! The less logic, the better! And, if you’d like to see if this hypothesis is right, we invite you to check out our selection of these glorious zombie jokes that got us laughing, moaning, and hee-hawing.
So, besides some high-quality jokes about zombies, we’ve been thorough enough to scour the internets for some zombie puns, too. Who could resist the brain-grain one, anyway? Definitely not us, and we hope these cute puns intermingled with some spooky jokes will also tickle your funny bone as much as it did ours! And for those who just can’t imagine cute and zombie placed in the same sentence, there are also loads of appropriately creepy Halloween jokes too. What’s Halloween without a zombie, and what’s a zombie without a hilarious joke?
Now, the zombie jokes are just a smidgen further down - you should definitely check them out! Once you are done with that, give the best jokes your vote and share this article with anyone who you think might enjoy them as much as you!
#121
Why was the zombie embarrassed in bed?
He had resurrectile disfunction.
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#122
A vampire, a zombie, and a ghost are at a party. The ghost gets something to eat, then immediately asks the zombie where the bathroom is. The ghost does his business, and returns to get some more food. He has some more to eat, then excuses himself to the restroom with the vampire. When he gets back, the zombie asks if the ghost is feel all right. The ghost replies, “I’m fine, the food’s just going right through me.”
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#123
"So I watched a zombie movie recently. The survivors boarded themselves in an old furniture store. They had a nice camp setup with beds, lounges, workbenches, and thrived for several years. At least until the virus mutated and jumped to inanimate objects. Then the tables turned..."
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#124
A zombie was roaming through the woods looking for something to eat. He came across two men - one sitting under a tree and reading a book, & the other typing away on his typewriter. The zombie quickly pounced on the man reading the book and started to devour him. Because even a brain dead zombie knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
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#125
A zombie walks into a brain store. On the shelves, a pound of C++ programmers brain sells for $500, of Java programmers $1000 and of PHP programmers $1,000,000. The zombie gets confused and asks the store owner why PHP programmers brain is so much more expensive. The owner says "Do you know how many PHP programmers I kill to get one pound of brain?"
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#126

What do you give a zombie who is up to their neck in slime?
More slime.
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#127
What do zombies like to eat at barbeques?
Halloweenies.
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#128
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
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#129
Why was the zombie comedian boo-ed off stage?
Because most of the jokes he said had gone bad.
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#130

What shampoo does a zombie wash his hair with?
Head and Shoulders!
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#131
If Batman was infected during a zombie apocalypse what would he say on seeing one of his arch-nemesis destroying Gotham?
"BANEEEEE!"
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#132
Why could the zombie not get his dream job as a chef?
Because his cooking was rotten!
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#133
What are a zombie’s favorite colors?
Blood red and grey matter pink!
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#134
Why was the zombie always grinning?
Because he had no lips!
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#135

What’s a zombie’s favorite kind of suburb?
A dead-end or kill-de-sac!
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#136
Why did the zombie lose the quiz show?
Because he kept saying the answer to each question was brains.
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#137
Who accompanied the zombie to the restaurant?
His ghoul-friend!
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#138
How did the zombie help the other zombie screw in the lightbulb?
He gave him his hand!
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#139
How do zombies measure time?
In decay-eds!
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#140

What car does a zombie dream of driving?
A monster truck!
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