Not every in-law relationship will be smooth-sailing. Every family will have occasional rifts and friction because of differences in personality traits, expectations, and even traditions.
However, there’s a massive difference between occasional disagreements and repeatedly crossing somebody’s boundaries. These can take the form of offering unsolicited advice, meddling in a couple’s decisions, trying to control matters they shouldn’t, and basically everything these mothers-in-law did.
These are firsthand accounts of people who expressed their MIL-related grievances on Reddit. Scroll through and see if you relate to any of these.
#1
We told in-laws that we didn’t want anyone to come see our first born in the hospital because I had a pretty traumatizing birth. So, MIL faked a UTI and said she was down in the emergency room and asked to be let up to our room after she was released. Husband caved because she guilt tripped him.
Prior to us having that child she would leave self help books on his business doorstop after hours. These were books on divorce. Inside the books she would write cryptic messages saying it was from a local therapist that she knew of me and that I was a dangerous person and that my child should be taken away from me. Literally her handwriting. Completely denied it later on.
She will blow up my husbands phone until he picks up. If he doesn’t she calls his siblings creating an emergency saying something is wrong with my husband and the entire family blows up his phone till he picks up. No privacy what so ever.
She wants him over every Sunday. He works Monday-Saturday. She’s always asking him to help her do things. Guilts him for not showing up saying “I really miss you, I wish we could see each other more often.”
Thats just 3 of the hundreds of interactions I could talk about.
Prior to us having that child she would leave self help books on his business doorstop after hours. These were books on divorce. Inside the books she would write cryptic messages saying it was from a local therapist that she knew of me and that I was a dangerous person and that my child should be taken away from me. Literally her handwriting. Completely denied it later on.
She will blow up my husbands phone until he picks up. If he doesn’t she calls his siblings creating an emergency saying something is wrong with my husband and the entire family blows up his phone till he picks up. No privacy what so ever.
She wants him over every Sunday. He works Monday-Saturday. She’s always asking him to help her do things. Guilts him for not showing up saying “I really miss you, I wish we could see each other more often.”
Thats just 3 of the hundreds of interactions I could talk about.
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7points
#2
This was before easy-to-get home pregnancy tests and cell phones.
I had gone to a clinic to get a pregnancy test, and had just found out that I was expecting. I was pregnant with our first child, her first grandchild.
I was just bubbling over with excitement. I drove to my very best friend's house and told her. She'd just had her first baby. I used her phone to call my husband at work. He was over the moon, happy.
He suggested calling his mother, so I did.
She asked if I planned to have an abortion.
That's it. I don't know what I said, other than "No". It was a shock to the system, and I've never forgotten hearing those words.
I had gone to a clinic to get a pregnancy test, and had just found out that I was expecting. I was pregnant with our first child, her first grandchild.
I was just bubbling over with excitement. I drove to my very best friend's house and told her. She'd just had her first baby. I used her phone to call my husband at work. He was over the moon, happy.
He suggested calling his mother, so I did.
She asked if I planned to have an abortion.
That's it. I don't know what I said, other than "No". It was a shock to the system, and I've never forgotten hearing those words.
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6points
#3
So many things, but aside from what I've forgotten (or rather, repressed -- occasionally I'll remember!), I'll NEVER forget how she sent him an email with the link to a Facebook profile of a random woman around our age that she met while hiking/climbing. Her message was something along the lines of like, "she speaks 5 languages and she loves " with some suggestion that she was single and he should meet her. We were together for well over a year at that point! We have been married almost 3 years, together for over 11 years now.
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5points
While the son or daughter-in-law takes the heat from the terror MIL, their spouse is equally suffering. They are caught in the middle of the conflict, and in many cases, they can't handle it well.
“When parents object to a partner, it can be deeply distressing and put people in the painful position of feeling they have to choose between their family and their relationship,” said family dispute resolution practitioner Naomi Doyle.
#4
When I was pregnant my MIL asked me to make sure she was the first person to know that the baby had been born. It was a weird request to me but I felt like it wasn’t really a big deal.
I should have known better. Especially after she told me the reason why she wanted to be the first to know. Because her other son and his wife had delivered their third child and MIL went to the hospital to see the baby. But the baby had aspirated merconiun and was in the NICU. So MIL was mad that she hadn’t been told first and warned about not being able to see the baby. In my mind I was blown away by her lack of empathy. Her son and DIL must have been panicking and worried about their new born baby.
Well the time came for me to have my baby. I was Lin labor for four days and was two weeks overdue. They finally began an induction to try to keep labor going. After 36 hours in labor in which they manually stretch my cervix and tried every trick they could think of to get baby to engage and me to dilate, I ended up having an emergency C-section. Also, because they couldn’t get the epidural to continue to work properly I got to feel the last half of my emergency C-section.
So I’m exhausted and in pain. My husband is given the baby and escorted out of the OR. I’m finally put back together and taken to my room. My husband tells me his mom is now refusing to watch our older children any longer (we’re a blended family) and he has to go get them and take them back home. Because she had offered to watch them when I went into labor they were with her.
In the excitement of the emergency and everything we’d gone through, he’d somehow managed to leave her out of the group text message he’d thrown together at the last minute and then made a post to Facebook. She was so angry that she refused to watch our children any more and we had no one else to help.
So I spent an entire week in the hospital by myself. I met my older children when they were 8,9, and 10. So this was my first experience as a mom to a baby. She refused to talk to me at all for the whole week. Hubby couldn’t be in the hospital with me because we had no one to care for the older children.
The day I got out of the hospital she demanded to come over and see the baby. Acting like she didn’t just throw the biggest tantrum and nothing happened. I was beyond hurt because it was like she had no empathy for everything we’d just gone through. All she cared about was that she wasn’t the first person to get the text that baby was here. Despite both my husband going through such a difficult and emotional experience over two days.
I should have known better. Especially after she told me the reason why she wanted to be the first to know. Because her other son and his wife had delivered their third child and MIL went to the hospital to see the baby. But the baby had aspirated merconiun and was in the NICU. So MIL was mad that she hadn’t been told first and warned about not being able to see the baby. In my mind I was blown away by her lack of empathy. Her son and DIL must have been panicking and worried about their new born baby.
Well the time came for me to have my baby. I was Lin labor for four days and was two weeks overdue. They finally began an induction to try to keep labor going. After 36 hours in labor in which they manually stretch my cervix and tried every trick they could think of to get baby to engage and me to dilate, I ended up having an emergency C-section. Also, because they couldn’t get the epidural to continue to work properly I got to feel the last half of my emergency C-section.
So I’m exhausted and in pain. My husband is given the baby and escorted out of the OR. I’m finally put back together and taken to my room. My husband tells me his mom is now refusing to watch our older children any longer (we’re a blended family) and he has to go get them and take them back home. Because she had offered to watch them when I went into labor they were with her.
In the excitement of the emergency and everything we’d gone through, he’d somehow managed to leave her out of the group text message he’d thrown together at the last minute and then made a post to Facebook. She was so angry that she refused to watch our children any more and we had no one else to help.
So I spent an entire week in the hospital by myself. I met my older children when they were 8,9, and 10. So this was my first experience as a mom to a baby. She refused to talk to me at all for the whole week. Hubby couldn’t be in the hospital with me because we had no one to care for the older children.
The day I got out of the hospital she demanded to come over and see the baby. Acting like she didn’t just throw the biggest tantrum and nothing happened. I was beyond hurt because it was like she had no empathy for everything we’d just gone through. All she cared about was that she wasn’t the first person to get the text that baby was here. Despite both my husband going through such a difficult and emotional experience over two days.
5points
#5
MIL was out to dinner with my husband and told him a made up lie about our daughter, that our daughter said she hated her the previous day while the three of us were together and husband was working- never happened, daughter was 3 yrs old and never used that word, plus I was there the entire time. When husband questioned it, she threw $200 on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.
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5points
#6
She talked my husband out of our daughter’s name. She dropped in uninvited DAILY. She followed me EVERYWHERE. To my classes, started dating my boss. I think she was looking to see if she could find any ammo to tell my husband. Tried to take over parenting, but only with my daughter. A real nut bag. We’ve been together 22 years, and she knows I’m here to stay. Now she whines to my husband that I hate her.
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4points
But what causes these conflicts in the first place? One cause is a clash of beliefs, according to Dr. Christine E. Kunkle, a communication studies professor at West Virginia University.
“Our patterns of behavior, our ways of doing rituals—it’s like water to a fish. You don’t necessarily notice it because you’re swimming in it all the time,” said Dr. Kunkle, who described families as “microcultures.”
#7
I had made my first brisket. When I was cutting it she pushed me out of the way and started cutting it because she didn't like the way that I cut it.
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4points
#8
Most petty thing she’s done? Stole the wedding gift she gave us. It was a glass sculpture. We have a house full of kids, dogs, and a cat. I had it in its box, in the guest room for safe keeping until our master bedroom renovation was done. She stayed in our guest room for a little bit, I noticed it was gone the night she was leaving our house. She said she hadn’t seen it. Weeks later I brought it up again, she tried to gaslight us by saying she told my husband it was at her house and he never took it back.
4points
#9
Mine gave me a visibly used "old lady face cream" for Christmas.
That was the same Christmas where she made a huge deal saying she got us "a big family gift for Christmas" which turned out to be a single pair of noise canceling headphones in my husband's favorite color.
She's darling.
Edit: a word.
That was the same Christmas where she made a huge deal saying she got us "a big family gift for Christmas" which turned out to be a single pair of noise canceling headphones in my husband's favorite color.
She's darling.
Edit: a word.
4points
Dealing with an unbearable mother-in-law is largely about setting healthy boundaries. In doing so, you clarify what you’re comfortable with and empower yourself to communicate those boundaries clearly.
As Cleveland Clinic social worker Karen Salerno explains, setting boundaries also lets others know the best way to interact and communicate with you.
#10
When I was pregnant my MIL suddenly wanted to force a SUPER close relationship with me as if the years of her bullying and mistreatment would just disappear. I kept my distance, and she made sure to do every little petty thing in her power to get under my skin throughout my pregnancy.
My husband and I have different last names. When we decided to share LO’s first name with everyone, MIL was over the moon until she asked where the name came from and was told it comes from my side of the family. She had a very obvious negative reaction. From that point on every item she sent for LO was addressed to “Baby insert their last name”. Again, knowing my husband and I have different last names and knowing full well we had chosen a name for LO.
Yes, DH called her out on it and yes, she played dumb.
My husband and I have different last names. When we decided to share LO’s first name with everyone, MIL was over the moon until she asked where the name came from and was told it comes from my side of the family. She had a very obvious negative reaction. From that point on every item she sent for LO was addressed to “Baby insert their last name”. Again, knowing my husband and I have different last names and knowing full well we had chosen a name for LO.
Yes, DH called her out on it and yes, she played dumb.
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4points
#11
We were staying at my mother-in-law‘s years ago and she had gone into our room when we were out-the room we were staying in at her house )got the camera off of the table and downloaded all the photos to her computer and then posted them on Facebook.
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4points
#12
She took clothes my husband (bf at the time who was living with her) had bought me for Christmas and wrapped it under the Christmas tree and put from: (my husband) to:mom
then proceeded to open up the gift on Christmas Day like if he had gifted it to her.
then proceeded to open up the gift on Christmas Day like if he had gifted it to her.
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4points
“Boundaries start with self-awareness. “You have to know what you need in order to ask for it,” Salerno said.
However, boundaries will only work if we follow through. As Salerno emphasizes, not being firm with them makes it harder for others to trust your boundary-setting in the future.
#13
She purposely ruins stuff in our house when she comes to visit but it is always an “accident”. Here are the many “accidents”:
Accidentally scratches our glass oven top. Accidentally spilled red wine on one of favorite quilts. Accidentally dried one of my cashmere sweaters. Accidentally dropped my very much sought after Diet Coke from the drive through that she insisted to bring in to help me. Wanted to make her own coffee with our espresso maker but then “forgot” how to use it and broke it (on accident).
There are many more.
She never apologizes for these “accidents” but sheepishly laughs when they happen.
Who knew someone could be so clumsy/dim witted?!
Accidentally scratches our glass oven top. Accidentally spilled red wine on one of favorite quilts. Accidentally dried one of my cashmere sweaters. Accidentally dropped my very much sought after Diet Coke from the drive through that she insisted to bring in to help me. Wanted to make her own coffee with our espresso maker but then “forgot” how to use it and broke it (on accident).
There are many more.
She never apologizes for these “accidents” but sheepishly laughs when they happen.
Who knew someone could be so clumsy/dim witted?!
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4points
#14
Last year my fiancé proposed, and we’re planning to get married. Last summer, his mom sat him down and told him I would make a terrible mother because of my family background (my mom left when I was 15, and my grandmother raised me). She said he’s only with me because he “feels sorry” for me, that it’s not too late to leave, and even listed “flaws” she’s noticed over the years — like that I’m “too sensitive” or “can’t handle pain.”
My fiancé defended me and told me everything she said that same night.
The next morning, since we were staying at their place, I confronted her. Instead of apologizing, she started yelling at me, insulted my late grandmother, and said some absolutely disgusting things. When I tried to leave, I slammed the door a bit too hard — she ran after me, pushed me out of the house, and called me a “stupid witch.”
My fiancé later demanded that she apologize, but her texts were even more disrespectful — full of denial and victim-playing. I apologized for raising my voice and for the door push, but she has never taken any responsibility for physically pushing me or insulting me.
Since then, she’s been trying to turn the rest of the family against me.
I haven’t seen her since that day, and honestly, I don’t want to.
My fiancé defended me and told me everything she said that same night.
The next morning, since we were staying at their place, I confronted her. Instead of apologizing, she started yelling at me, insulted my late grandmother, and said some absolutely disgusting things. When I tried to leave, I slammed the door a bit too hard — she ran after me, pushed me out of the house, and called me a “stupid witch.”
My fiancé later demanded that she apologize, but her texts were even more disrespectful — full of denial and victim-playing. I apologized for raising my voice and for the door push, but she has never taken any responsibility for physically pushing me or insulting me.
Since then, she’s been trying to turn the rest of the family against me.
I haven’t seen her since that day, and honestly, I don’t want to.
4points
#15
Pretty sure this is common but my MIL would refuse to hand my crying baby back even when I asked or when baby was screaming from hunger. It seriously damaged our relationship—gave me freaking PTSD I swear and I will probably never let her babysit because of that. She did so many other things wrong but that was such a blatant example that she would put her own selfish wants before my baby’s safety and wellbeing.
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4points
In-law relationships can be complicated, but these stories take the drama to an entirely new level. If you’ve read enough of them, you may notice how these mothers-in-law have a unique talent for testing everyone’s patience.
Of course, not every family conflict has a simple explanation, but respecting boundaries can go a long way.
#16
Years ago she rearranged my kitchen when she was at our house for a visit while I was at work.
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4points
#17
I’m from another country and live in the same country boyfriend and MIL are from. I have no support here no family.
After I lost my job in 2023, it took me two years of struggling to secure my dream job in 2025 in a very prestige company with a great salary.
Instead of being happy for me and asking me how it’s going, MIL made comments poking fun at my job security and implied my boss would get fed up with me and fire me. She also said I should consider the company goes bankrupt and has to lay me off because then I’d be in the same position I was in 2023.
Boyfriend said nothing to defend and to this day believes she didn’t do anything wrong. He’s soon to be my ex boyfriend.
After I lost my job in 2023, it took me two years of struggling to secure my dream job in 2025 in a very prestige company with a great salary.
Instead of being happy for me and asking me how it’s going, MIL made comments poking fun at my job security and implied my boss would get fed up with me and fire me. She also said I should consider the company goes bankrupt and has to lay me off because then I’d be in the same position I was in 2023.
Boyfriend said nothing to defend and to this day believes she didn’t do anything wrong. He’s soon to be my ex boyfriend.
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4points
#18
Snatched my arm at my reception and told me that I better not cheat on her baby or she will find me and hurt me. Her “baby” cheated on me 3 months after our wedding. Great guy you raised.
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4points
#19
The first thanksgiving I spent over at my boyfriend’s family, I was freshly 18. In front of his entire maternal side of the family she measured my hips with her hands, then pulled them back to hers. She stated, very loudly, how “giant” my hips were, and how even though she had birthed my boyfriend she still had smaller hips than me. Easy to say, I did not eat that thanksgiving, and to this day (5 years later), I watch what I eat around her.
4points
#20
While talking about an upcoming national park trip, she told us to spray our bear spray on ourselves to keep bears away while hiking. “Just like bug spray!” (Spoiler alert: it is not just like bug spray and is essentially like pepper spraying yourself :))
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4points