Not every in-law relationship will be smooth-sailing. Every family will have occasional rifts and friction because of differences in personality traits, expectations, and even traditions.
However, there’s a massive difference between occasional disagreements and repeatedly crossing somebody’s boundaries. These can take the form of offering unsolicited advice, meddling in a couple’s decisions, trying to control matters they shouldn’t, and basically everything these mothers-in-law did.
These are firsthand accounts of people who expressed their MIL-related grievances on Reddit. Scroll through and see if you relate to any of these.
#21
She hasn't talked to me for over 2 years because she didn't think I acted excited enough when she came to visit us.
Did me a favor, really.
Did me a favor, really.
3points
#22
gave me socks that said “go away” for Christmas 2 months after we got engaged.
put glitter in my gift bag at my bridal shower so that when i opened the gift it went everywhere.
went to dinner and a concert with my husbands ex-girlfriend the night before our wedding instead of helping set up at the venue.
linked up with my best friend (now ex-best friend) to hear all the bad things i was saying about her during the above events.
i could go on & on LOL.
put glitter in my gift bag at my bridal shower so that when i opened the gift it went everywhere.
went to dinner and a concert with my husbands ex-girlfriend the night before our wedding instead of helping set up at the venue.
linked up with my best friend (now ex-best friend) to hear all the bad things i was saying about her during the above events.
i could go on & on LOL.
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3points
#23
Gave me a book on pre-menopause that she got from a woman she worked with who was “just about [my] age, around 45.” I was THIRTY.
She also mailed me a heavily used children’s book of a nursery rhyme that came up briefly in conversation at lunch… two weeks after we had to terminate my first pregnancy at 20 weeks for medical reasons. Basically overnighted it to me, because it was that important she send it. She had no clue why this would upset me. Her “apology” after my husband chewed her out was also insanely cruel. Then, immediately after we got home from the visit where she “apologized,” she called sobbing because I didn’t compliment her new hairstyle that looked exactly like it’s always looked.
But she’s done plenty of weird stuff that doesn’t quite qualify as “petty.” She’s just a narcissistic old biddy.
Edits: details & clarity.
She also mailed me a heavily used children’s book of a nursery rhyme that came up briefly in conversation at lunch… two weeks after we had to terminate my first pregnancy at 20 weeks for medical reasons. Basically overnighted it to me, because it was that important she send it. She had no clue why this would upset me. Her “apology” after my husband chewed her out was also insanely cruel. Then, immediately after we got home from the visit where she “apologized,” she called sobbing because I didn’t compliment her new hairstyle that looked exactly like it’s always looked.
But she’s done plenty of weird stuff that doesn’t quite qualify as “petty.” She’s just a narcissistic old biddy.
Edits: details & clarity.
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3points
#24
I'm widowed now, but the first time I met my mil, she would never get my name right. Not my real name but I told her my name was Ashley she'd call me Ashlynn. No matter how many times I'd correct her. On top of that, his family was " religious " but didn't behave as such. When ever it was time for a visit we always had to drive to them whether to Detroit, Ohio west Virginia, it was getting old.
In September 2016 he had a stroke. I had lost my dad that may. I was already struggling emotionally from that. My own mother who was definitely a narcissist, didn't even let me say goodbye, emailed me about his passing away 3 days later, but that's another story. I called MIl to let her know about the stroke her first words " what did you do to him?" I hung up the phone. Lady it was your lack of teaching him the simple act of medical prevention and dental care that caused the stroke. He never went to the doctor even though he had medical insurance through his job, which he didn't even have me on. I spent all day at the rehab facility when he was transferred there. I retrained his bladder and bowels. Taught him to walk. His mother and her sister had tge gall to show up and threaten me. I told her don't underestimate me because I'm quiet, I'll take your cane and beat you with it. I made sure he got disability, medicaire, made doctors appointments, sorted medications, and you come here threatening me?
My life for the next 7 years was MISERABLE except when I was working. He passed in 2023. His mother who wasn't his guardian refused an autopsy. From that point on, I was 100% done. I didn't go to the funeral I didn't feel safe.
I'm sure there are more things I can't remember.
In September 2016 he had a stroke. I had lost my dad that may. I was already struggling emotionally from that. My own mother who was definitely a narcissist, didn't even let me say goodbye, emailed me about his passing away 3 days later, but that's another story. I called MIl to let her know about the stroke her first words " what did you do to him?" I hung up the phone. Lady it was your lack of teaching him the simple act of medical prevention and dental care that caused the stroke. He never went to the doctor even though he had medical insurance through his job, which he didn't even have me on. I spent all day at the rehab facility when he was transferred there. I retrained his bladder and bowels. Taught him to walk. His mother and her sister had tge gall to show up and threaten me. I told her don't underestimate me because I'm quiet, I'll take your cane and beat you with it. I made sure he got disability, medicaire, made doctors appointments, sorted medications, and you come here threatening me?
My life for the next 7 years was MISERABLE except when I was working. He passed in 2023. His mother who wasn't his guardian refused an autopsy. From that point on, I was 100% done. I didn't go to the funeral I didn't feel safe.
I'm sure there are more things I can't remember.
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3points
#25
On Mother’s Day this year my SIL & I grabbed lunch at the cafe she manages, she came up to me as I was holding my niece and said “don’t you feel worthless today?” Since we didn’t have kids.
She refuses to eat any food I ever make because she wants to think she’s a better cook/baker. The difference between the things I make and hers are that I use seasoning to enhance flavors and the majority of what I make is completely made from scratch. Apparently it’s a competition that I was unaware of.
She refuses to eat any food I ever make because she wants to think she’s a better cook/baker. The difference between the things I make and hers are that I use seasoning to enhance flavors and the majority of what I make is completely made from scratch. Apparently it’s a competition that I was unaware of.
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3points
#26
Not really petty, but my MIL acts like a child when she doesn't get her way. She will whine and ask 'why not?'. I could go i to detail but will probably do a separate poat to let it all out. Especially now that my wife and I had our first child. MIL hasnt gotten any better.
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3points
#27
The first year we dated if she ever heard us laughing in the other room she would throw a fit and accuse us of talking about her and laughing at her. She's made comments about how moving is harder when another person is involved. This was 2 years into our relationship when we were moving upstate. The first 4 years if she ever saw us being affectionate (hold hands, hug, kiss) then she would throw a tantrum and start an argument. She tries to blame any negative behavior her son exhibits on me like when he had a drinking problem it was my fault, when he actually stood up to her she blamed it on me coming between them. She has A LOT of mental health issues and is an alcoholic.
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3points
#28
My husband goes out of state every year for a work conference, so we treat it as part of our vacation and the kids and I go with him.
The year we started dating she kept saying, "Well I KNEW that was gonna happen... You were gonna go off and get a girlfriend, and I wasn't going to get to go!". She sounded like a child. She said it so much that I told him to just take his mother and I would stay behind. He said, "But I don't want to take my mother." He must have reamed her bc she quit bringing it up. We had the best time... without her.
She came with us one year after we got married. I was pregnant. She kept saying things behind my back about my parenting, etc. bc my son (previous marriage) was spending his time playing videogames in the car and not looking out the window and mapping, like DH did when he was a kid (She is adamant she encouraged his career/success bc of it). She picked at my son the whole trip and I lost it on her. She made a comment about how our marriage was in trouble and we shouldn't have gotten married "so soon". Again, DH reamed her and she's not traveled with us since. We dated for four years before we got married.
The year we started dating she kept saying, "Well I KNEW that was gonna happen... You were gonna go off and get a girlfriend, and I wasn't going to get to go!". She sounded like a child. She said it so much that I told him to just take his mother and I would stay behind. He said, "But I don't want to take my mother." He must have reamed her bc she quit bringing it up. We had the best time... without her.
She came with us one year after we got married. I was pregnant. She kept saying things behind my back about my parenting, etc. bc my son (previous marriage) was spending his time playing videogames in the car and not looking out the window and mapping, like DH did when he was a kid (She is adamant she encouraged his career/success bc of it). She picked at my son the whole trip and I lost it on her. She made a comment about how our marriage was in trouble and we shouldn't have gotten married "so soon". Again, DH reamed her and she's not traveled with us since. We dated for four years before we got married.
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3points
#29
Last year MIL planned a birthday celebration for my FIL, SIL and BIL and said it made sense to celebrate them all together as they are all in September. My Birthday is also in September and I got upset that I was excluded and my MIL said she had forgotten that my Birthday was in September as well. My Husband and I had been together for 14 years and married for 8 1/2 at this point. As we were discussing the family birthdates she proceeded to tell me and my husband that she found it kind of funny as my birthday and My daughters are both on 20th so she should have remembered (mine being September and my daughter being November). My jaw dropped and my husband asked his mother if she was serious, our daughter’s birthday is November 7th and she was 6 at the time. My daughter and I are vvvvLC/NC and my husband is LC but for MANY other reasons now.
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3points
#30
I threw a surprise birthday party for my husband. My MIL barely caught an invite. She didn't help with the party in anyway except she brought over a couple cases of soda. I had the schedule meticulously planned to make sure it was a surprise. The day of my MIL tried to show up early, my husband was still home so it would have ruined the surprise. When I didn't give her permission to show up early, she had a huge attitude when she did show up. She wouldn't look at me or speak to me through the whole party which I honestly didn't care because yay I don't have to interact! Anyway, the next day she got on Facebook thanking people for coming and thanking my husband's friend who helped me with the party for helping and cooking. She did not mention me. I planned organized and paid for the party! She made it look like she threw the party and was thanking everyone for attending. It was crazy. She didn't like or comment on my post. I don't care about that, I honestly don't even want to be friends with her on socials but it's just to show some context.
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3points
#31
-literally told my fiancé I said she gave herself cancer when I suggested the mold or smoking could of possibly been the case for her bone cancer after listening to her rant on about how fabric gave her cancer. She’s been a smoker 30 plus years and an almost daily coke drinker. And cancer first was found in Brest and lung then metastasis to the bones
- asked her if she’s watching my dauschund (who she adores and begs me to leave with her) to please lock her up before people come over as she is not well socialized and has yipped at peoples ankles she doesn’t know, she literally disregarded that the first time I let my guard down and allowed her to watch her and when I came to pick her up she said she almost bit the plumber. She then blamed my dog.
- asked her if she’s watching my dauschund (who she adores and begs me to leave with her) to please lock her up before people come over as she is not well socialized and has yipped at peoples ankles she doesn’t know, she literally disregarded that the first time I let my guard down and allowed her to watch her and when I came to pick her up she said she almost bit the plumber. She then blamed my dog.
3points
#32
My mother in law bought over 2k worth of stuff for my baby before he was even born. Most of it I can’t even use ( wrong size for the season, not safe, ect) she gets mad every time she sees him in something she didn’t buy ( um I have parents and grandparents that also like to buy him outfits?). Not to mention none of the things she bought are cute. My husband tried to kindly tell her we didn’t need anymore “stuff”. My mil doesn’t work and FIL is older and probably should retire but they don’t have any savings due to her ridiculous spending. She got mad and made up all kind of lies about me to the rest of the family. They luckily didn’t believe her and we had all moved on. My son is now 8 months old. She kept texting my husband at work wanting to buy him a jumparoo. My husband got tired of her texting him so he gave in and said yes. She went straight out and bought one. She asked my husband via text if she could come straight over to give to the baby. She got mad and is refusing to speak to us because he told her we weren’t at home but she was welcome to meet us for dinner with my parents or come over later that night. She has told anyone that will listen ( my sister in law called me to confirm this) that I’m the worlds worst daughter in law, that I refused to let her come over, and I’m trying to keep her from seeing her grandson. Somebody make it make sense because I can’t.
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3points
#33
MIL is condescending. She speaks down to everyone. She's rude. She called my daughter the name SHE wanted us to name her grand daughter for several months until I finally snapped at my husband to tell her to knock it the f off. She's probably going to push me over the edge of even strained politeness this week since her only grandchild(my fault as well) is graduating high school this week.
FIL? He and MIL divorced when my husband was a little kid. Has been remarried twice since. Hasn't seen us, or his only blood grandchild, since she was football sized. Hasn't sent a card for any of her birthdays. We sent a announcement of her graduation to him and his latest wife. Not expecting even a FB post from either.
FIL? He and MIL divorced when my husband was a little kid. Has been remarried twice since. Hasn't seen us, or his only blood grandchild, since she was football sized. Hasn't sent a card for any of her birthdays. We sent a announcement of her graduation to him and his latest wife. Not expecting even a FB post from either.
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3points
#34
It was always petty little things that on their own might not seem so bad, but when that's all you experience, it makes it quite obvious that they don't want you as part of the family. However, some moments stick out worse than others:
My mother-in-law tried to ruin our wedding by faking an ankle injury and attempting to steal my 80-year-old grandmother's wheelchair just so she could show the guests how "hurt" she was
While I was pregnant,.my MIL gave me a pair of flannel pajamas that were several sizes too big. I thanked her for them, but asked if she had a gift receipt because they were too large. She told me, "I bought them that way on purpose so they'll still fit no matter how much bigger you get." On the surface this might not be so bad, but she called me fat in front of all her friends at a Christmas party 2 weeks prior (I was 5 months pregnant and very petite)
After my son was born, I got very, very severe post-partum depression. At one point I needed to be hospitalized and have shock therapy. My father-in-law told my husband I wasn't allowed back at their house until I was "normal again"
My mother-in-law tried to ruin our wedding by faking an ankle injury and attempting to steal my 80-year-old grandmother's wheelchair just so she could show the guests how "hurt" she was
While I was pregnant,.my MIL gave me a pair of flannel pajamas that were several sizes too big. I thanked her for them, but asked if she had a gift receipt because they were too large. She told me, "I bought them that way on purpose so they'll still fit no matter how much bigger you get." On the surface this might not be so bad, but she called me fat in front of all her friends at a Christmas party 2 weeks prior (I was 5 months pregnant and very petite)
After my son was born, I got very, very severe post-partum depression. At one point I needed to be hospitalized and have shock therapy. My father-in-law told my husband I wasn't allowed back at their house until I was "normal again"
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3points
#35
My husband and I are from different countries and speak different languages , we gave our son two names , the first name is in my language and the second is in his fathers language.
FIL is livid we didn’t only use their language and refuses to acknowledge our baby’s first name. He acts like he doesn’t hear it when I use and is upset when anyone else mentions it.
MIL sneakily came up with an excuse to lift my shirt and sneak a peak at my tummy to check if I have stretch marks because I mentioned I didn’t think creams work .
She also critiques every little thing we do with our son and often tells our infant “they’re torturing you”
MIL regularly calls herself mama in front of my kid and once told him quietly (thinking I wasn’t listening) “I’m going to buy a car seat for my car and you and I can go on looong drives all alone with no one else” .. she also gets upset when she says she is taking him for a walk and I say “I’ll Join”
FIL is livid we didn’t only use their language and refuses to acknowledge our baby’s first name. He acts like he doesn’t hear it when I use and is upset when anyone else mentions it.
MIL sneakily came up with an excuse to lift my shirt and sneak a peak at my tummy to check if I have stretch marks because I mentioned I didn’t think creams work .
She also critiques every little thing we do with our son and often tells our infant “they’re torturing you”
MIL regularly calls herself mama in front of my kid and once told him quietly (thinking I wasn’t listening) “I’m going to buy a car seat for my car and you and I can go on looong drives all alone with no one else” .. she also gets upset when she says she is taking him for a walk and I say “I’ll Join”
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3points
#36
MIL said she talked to her doctors about my pregnancy and I wasn’t really high risk. I should just suck it up and carry on as normal. I’m just making a deal.
Baby came 18 weeks too early…
I guess HER doctor didn’t have MY medical notes, go figure.
Baby came 18 weeks too early…
I guess HER doctor didn’t have MY medical notes, go figure.
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3points
#37
My MIL brought me weight loss tea and training gear when she came visiting her granddaughter.
I am 3kg heavier compared to my pre-pregnancy weight...
I am 3kg heavier compared to my pre-pregnancy weight...
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3points
#38
We couldn't have visitors in the hospital due to covid and my inlaws accused us of lying. They even called the maternity ward to make sure
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3points
#39
She and FIL refused to come while her nine week premature grandbabies were on ventilators in the NICU with an uncertain road ahead of them. Her reason? I might be mean to her.
She finally met them when they were six months old.
She finally met them when they were six months old.
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3points
#40
When she returned my porcelain dolls, she made sure I got all of them except the one my late grandmother started my collection with. She burned that one. It was the only one I requested.
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3points