Marriage isn’t just a union of two people; it also brings together their families, which can be the biggest source of drama and conflict. One age-old saga that folks have had to deal with is terrible mother-in-laws who seem to get joy from inflicting their toxic rule on everyone else.
That’s why we put together this list of horror stories for Halloween all about moms-in-law who’ve overstepped the bounds so much they’ve forgotten where the line was in the first place. Brace yourself for some truly cringy, awkward, and jaw-dropping posts about in-laws from hell.
#21 About Ready To Cut Her Off
I did a little photo shoot of my kids dressed up as ghostface and Jason Voorhees. My mother in law posted:
"I'm actually very disturbed by the pictures and comments she makes with the kids on facebook!!!!!!! "
Then again (to make sure everyone understood):
"Im actually very disturbed and disappointed by the pictures and comments of the kids on Facebook!!!! If DH saw this he would also be disturbed but he's not on facebook!! She's raising future scary kids!!!!"
First: ITS OCTOBER. We love scary stuff and it's fun to be scared and do scary stuff. They've never seen these movies but they know I like them.
Second: She posted this on my public profile picture change, on my grandmas comment of a laughing dog!
Third: I texted her son, who would be so disturbed!, a video of my son stalking me while I do a selfie and his sister is watching with her mask in the window. He thought it was hilarious.
What I want to say is if me and my children are so scary she does not have to see us anymore. What I did was block her on Facebook and told her son to handle it.
It's not like I'm glorifying actual killers like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy. These are FICTIONAL movie characters.
I almost feel relieved that now I can be rid of her comments and jabs and all the other weird and rude stuff she does.
Zestyclose-Custard-2
-What I did was block her on Facebook and told her son to handle it.
Fantastic work here, you deserve a raise.
"I'm actually very disturbed by the pictures and comments she makes with the kids on facebook!!!!!!! "
Then again (to make sure everyone understood):
"Im actually very disturbed and disappointed by the pictures and comments of the kids on Facebook!!!! If DH saw this he would also be disturbed but he's not on facebook!! She's raising future scary kids!!!!"
First: ITS OCTOBER. We love scary stuff and it's fun to be scared and do scary stuff. They've never seen these movies but they know I like them.
Second: She posted this on my public profile picture change, on my grandmas comment of a laughing dog!
Third: I texted her son, who would be so disturbed!, a video of my son stalking me while I do a selfie and his sister is watching with her mask in the window. He thought it was hilarious.
What I want to say is if me and my children are so scary she does not have to see us anymore. What I did was block her on Facebook and told her son to handle it.
It's not like I'm glorifying actual killers like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy. These are FICTIONAL movie characters.
I almost feel relieved that now I can be rid of her comments and jabs and all the other weird and rude stuff she does.
Zestyclose-Custard-2
-What I did was block her on Facebook and told her son to handle it.
Fantastic work here, you deserve a raise.
Report
3points
A difficult relationship with in-laws doesn’t just affect the person in question; it can also strain their bond with their spouse. According to research shared by Heart2Heart, nearly 80% of marriages fail because of toxic in-laws who interfere and become too controlling. They might not even realize they are overstepping, which later causes problems in their kids’ relationship.
That's why everyone needs to have an open, honest discussion with their partner about boundaries and stand up for them in front of their parents. This can be difficult at first, but it can build a better relationship with everyone and leave no room for resentment to fester.
#22 Mil Suddenly Remembers Her Entire To-Do List Whenever I'm Leaving
I'm starting to dread saying goodbye, which sounds ridiculous.
MIL is pleasant for most of a visit. Then I'm standing in the hall with my coat on and she remembers three things she needs help with. Moving a planter, finding a letter, fixing the settings on her television. Last Sunday I ended up staying another forty minutes. I had already spent the afternoon with her.
I've started asking when I arrive whether there's anything she needs done. Usually she says no. She also does this to my husband, so it isn't specifically aimed at me.
This week I told her before visiting that I needed to leave at five. At five she asked me to sort through a cupboard for something.
Me: I can do that next time.
MIL: I suppose I'll just manage on my own then.
I left. She later messaged that she hadnt realised spending time with her required an appointment. We had sat together for two hours and she'd shown me every picture from her gardening club.
My husband says I handled it fine. I'm still struggling with feeling unkind because the tasks themselves aren't unreasonable. It's the timing, every single visit.
How do you keep leaving from becoming a whole separate argument when you've already given plenty of notice?
Majestic_Barber6407
You can handle it one of two ways-
The way you did last visit (I think it was totally fine and appropriate, but it will hurt her feelings until she gets with the program)
The fake departure - 1 hour before you’d normally plan to leave, say you have to go. Then you’ll have time within your normally budgeted visit to complete her tasks.
You aren’t responsible for her feelings, but if it makes you feel better, option 2 will ease the tension a bit.
MIL is pleasant for most of a visit. Then I'm standing in the hall with my coat on and she remembers three things she needs help with. Moving a planter, finding a letter, fixing the settings on her television. Last Sunday I ended up staying another forty minutes. I had already spent the afternoon with her.
I've started asking when I arrive whether there's anything she needs done. Usually she says no. She also does this to my husband, so it isn't specifically aimed at me.
This week I told her before visiting that I needed to leave at five. At five she asked me to sort through a cupboard for something.
Me: I can do that next time.
MIL: I suppose I'll just manage on my own then.
I left. She later messaged that she hadnt realised spending time with her required an appointment. We had sat together for two hours and she'd shown me every picture from her gardening club.
My husband says I handled it fine. I'm still struggling with feeling unkind because the tasks themselves aren't unreasonable. It's the timing, every single visit.
How do you keep leaving from becoming a whole separate argument when you've already given plenty of notice?
Majestic_Barber6407
You can handle it one of two ways-
The way you did last visit (I think it was totally fine and appropriate, but it will hurt her feelings until she gets with the program)
The fake departure - 1 hour before you’d normally plan to leave, say you have to go. Then you’ll have time within your normally budgeted visit to complete her tasks.
You aren’t responsible for her feelings, but if it makes you feel better, option 2 will ease the tension a bit.
Report
3points
#23 Not Sharing C Section Date -Am I Being Mean?
My MIL told me she wants to know when I go into labor which I told her we won’t be telling anyone, she didn’t respond well on that then told me she wants to know when the baby drops, also weird request and won’t be doing that.
Now I need to have a C section and I told my husband, I don’t want them to know because then they will ask for the date and time and be texting us nonstop for updates which he’s agreed to and understands, so we will text them the next day after we’ve had time to settle with baby. But am I being too crazy? My in laws are very overwhelming and want to know everything.
My MIL has sons and thinks that she should have the kind of relationship with them that moms have with their daughters, she just lives in a delusional world. Originally she assumed she would come during birth and then stay with us for a week (never asked us, just assumed she was doing that) to help with recovery which my husband had to tell her absolutely not. This whole pregnancy she’s been acting like she’s trying to relive being pregnant it’s been so weird honestly.
oldhorsechick:
You’ve said she will text non stop when she thinks you’re delivering, now is the time to leave longer intervals before responding. Try to stretch your response time at least 24 hours for a week or more before your C section, that way if she happens to text/call while you’re in surgery she will not actually know about baby until you tell her.
Now I need to have a C section and I told my husband, I don’t want them to know because then they will ask for the date and time and be texting us nonstop for updates which he’s agreed to and understands, so we will text them the next day after we’ve had time to settle with baby. But am I being too crazy? My in laws are very overwhelming and want to know everything.
My MIL has sons and thinks that she should have the kind of relationship with them that moms have with their daughters, she just lives in a delusional world. Originally she assumed she would come during birth and then stay with us for a week (never asked us, just assumed she was doing that) to help with recovery which my husband had to tell her absolutely not. This whole pregnancy she’s been acting like she’s trying to relive being pregnant it’s been so weird honestly.
oldhorsechick:
You’ve said she will text non stop when she thinks you’re delivering, now is the time to leave longer intervals before responding. Try to stretch your response time at least 24 hours for a week or more before your C section, that way if she happens to text/call while you’re in surgery she will not actually know about baby until you tell her.
Report
3points
#24 Mil Somehow Just Found Out We’re Pregnant
Freaking out a bit here. We’re about 7 months along with our first baby, and we have been no contact with MIL for around a year now. She’s only ever a source of stress, anxiety, and toxicity for us, so of COURSE we wouldn’t have informed her of the pregnancy. Our POV (thankfully, hubs and I are on the same page here 100%) is that blood does not give MIL any right whatsoever to a relationship with or access to our son.
Yet somehow, today, MIL found out that I’m pregnant and sent my husband a completely insane text cussing at him and making our news all about herself, of course.
While I want to give a good shake to whoever spilled the beans to her, if I’m being real, I kind of expected her to find out eventually because we have some mutual acquaintances, and we live in the same small city. And how would random acquaintances know about our situation with her. I just hoped it wouldn’t be until after I had given birth. This whole season has its own inherent stress (though lots of excitement and joy, too!), so I just really felt I did not want her adding to my stress levels since I want to be relaxed and at peace going into labor.
This literally just happened minutes ago. My stress levels are now skyrocketing, and I bet my poor husband is in complete panic mode. Due to her emotional hurt of him growing up, she instantly triggers his fight or flight reflex when she verbally attacks him like she did just now.
Anyways… any encouragement or advice welcome. Just sitting here with this huge pit of dread in my stomach. Ugh.
Lugbor:
There's an old CIA spy hunting technique that was designed for the purpose of finding the source of leaked information. Everyone you suspect gets a photo or story with something subtle altered in the details. When she freaks out and you see which version she got, you know who the mole is.
Yet somehow, today, MIL found out that I’m pregnant and sent my husband a completely insane text cussing at him and making our news all about herself, of course.
While I want to give a good shake to whoever spilled the beans to her, if I’m being real, I kind of expected her to find out eventually because we have some mutual acquaintances, and we live in the same small city. And how would random acquaintances know about our situation with her. I just hoped it wouldn’t be until after I had given birth. This whole season has its own inherent stress (though lots of excitement and joy, too!), so I just really felt I did not want her adding to my stress levels since I want to be relaxed and at peace going into labor.
This literally just happened minutes ago. My stress levels are now skyrocketing, and I bet my poor husband is in complete panic mode. Due to her emotional hurt of him growing up, she instantly triggers his fight or flight reflex when she verbally attacks him like she did just now.
Anyways… any encouragement or advice welcome. Just sitting here with this huge pit of dread in my stomach. Ugh.
Lugbor:
There's an old CIA spy hunting technique that was designed for the purpose of finding the source of leaked information. Everyone you suspect gets a photo or story with something subtle altered in the details. When she freaks out and you see which version she got, you know who the mole is.
Report
3points
Dealing with a bad mother-in-law is painful, and nobody wants to go through it. Unfortunately, folks can’t choose their partner’s parents, so they have to do their best with the cards they’ve been dealt. Hopefully these stories serve as a lesson to approach family conflicts with empathy and try to be better to one another.
Do you have any crazy in-law stories you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you.
#25 My Mil Demanded Her Own Room In Our New House
After years of living with my in-laws, my husband and I finally moved into our own home. Money was tight, but my MIL insisted we have a room made up for her because she might stay over.
I bought a perfectly decent bed for the spare room, specifically so she’d have somewhere comfortable to sleep.
She was furious. Apparently, the bed wasn’t good enough.
The funny part? She lived a few minutes away and never actually came to stay. Still not sure if she wanted a bedroom or a five-star hotel.
No_Today_4903:
Ha! My mil assumed that the fourth bedroom in our house would be a guest room aka her room when we moved in. I was pregnant! That was the nursery.
What was even better is she expected us to stay in that guest room and let her have our bedroom because yea. No way. She’s never set foot in this house.
Best part is that nursery is now a guest bedroom because the baby is now 14 and took over the bedroom down the hall. We finished another huge bedroom down in the basement with a bathroom. We haven’t spoken to her in close to a decade now.
It is nice when my parents or my aunt comes to visit, they have a nice room to stay in!
I bought a perfectly decent bed for the spare room, specifically so she’d have somewhere comfortable to sleep.
She was furious. Apparently, the bed wasn’t good enough.
The funny part? She lived a few minutes away and never actually came to stay. Still not sure if she wanted a bedroom or a five-star hotel.
No_Today_4903:
Ha! My mil assumed that the fourth bedroom in our house would be a guest room aka her room when we moved in. I was pregnant! That was the nursery.
What was even better is she expected us to stay in that guest room and let her have our bedroom because yea. No way. She’s never set foot in this house.
Best part is that nursery is now a guest bedroom because the baby is now 14 and took over the bedroom down the hall. We finished another huge bedroom down in the basement with a bathroom. We haven’t spoken to her in close to a decade now.
It is nice when my parents or my aunt comes to visit, they have a nice room to stay in!
Report
3points
#26 We Saw Her At The Grocery Store
I haven’t spoken to the in laws in almost 4 years since they blew up about how my husband I were going to get married. They used that opportunity to also be upset about how their expectations of being grandparents weren’t met in our child’s first year of life.
We live in a small town, and since then I’ve run into them in public a few times and it would give me some kind of anxiety attack and really ruin my next couple days.
But I’m growing and have done a lot of work on myself.
I went to the grocery store with my four year old. And as we are walking in, my husband’s mother pulls in. We make eye contact and I continue on into the store. I didn’t turn around and leave. And I didn’t have a panic attack. We just got what we needed, and continued on as normal. We talked to a few people we knew and did our thing. My child never noticed anything was “up”.
I couldn’t help but notice that she took a pretty big detour to get her milk to avoid us and was super quick getting what she needed to get out there.
I’m proud of my growth.
BoozeAndHotpants:
Good for you! Time to make HER nervous about running into YOU for a change.
We live in a small town, and since then I’ve run into them in public a few times and it would give me some kind of anxiety attack and really ruin my next couple days.
But I’m growing and have done a lot of work on myself.
I went to the grocery store with my four year old. And as we are walking in, my husband’s mother pulls in. We make eye contact and I continue on into the store. I didn’t turn around and leave. And I didn’t have a panic attack. We just got what we needed, and continued on as normal. We talked to a few people we knew and did our thing. My child never noticed anything was “up”.
I couldn’t help but notice that she took a pretty big detour to get her milk to avoid us and was super quick getting what she needed to get out there.
I’m proud of my growth.
BoozeAndHotpants:
Good for you! Time to make HER nervous about running into YOU for a change.
Report
3points
#27 'You Didn't Spend Easter Or 4th Of July With Us, Why Can't You Spend Christmas With Family Like A Normal Person'
This is what MIL told me not SO when we told them we would only be visiting for a couple hours instead of staying Christmas Eve. There is no real big fight or drawn out problems that have gotten us to make this decision There have been small things but honestly she actually tries to make some changes.
This year is our first year in our new home we wanted to spend time at home with the kids. All big holidays would be mostly spent at home. This time of year I go all out thanksgiving, Christmas and even Halloween are big things for the kids, MIL tries to get in early with plans.
But I guess with pushback this year she isn't taking it well.
When she looked at me and asked why we wouldn't spend Christmas with them I told her it was joint decision talk to SO. She didn't, When he spoke up and told his mom we had made the decision together and we wouldn't be changing our minds. She completely ignored him.
I guess I'm the bad guy here. I think I'm just going to ask SO once that if she continues she won't see any of us on Christmas.
singerbeerguy:
You deserve to make your own decisions about how you spend your holidays. 25 years ago when our oldest was 2, we announced to our families that, for the foreseeable future, we would be spending Christmas Day in our own house. Open invitation for them to join us if they wished, but our kids would have Christmas at our house. I don’t know that everyone liked it, but they respected it. You deserve the same respect of your decisions.
This year is our first year in our new home we wanted to spend time at home with the kids. All big holidays would be mostly spent at home. This time of year I go all out thanksgiving, Christmas and even Halloween are big things for the kids, MIL tries to get in early with plans.
But I guess with pushback this year she isn't taking it well.
When she looked at me and asked why we wouldn't spend Christmas with them I told her it was joint decision talk to SO. She didn't, When he spoke up and told his mom we had made the decision together and we wouldn't be changing our minds. She completely ignored him.
I guess I'm the bad guy here. I think I'm just going to ask SO once that if she continues she won't see any of us on Christmas.
singerbeerguy:
You deserve to make your own decisions about how you spend your holidays. 25 years ago when our oldest was 2, we announced to our families that, for the foreseeable future, we would be spending Christmas Day in our own house. Open invitation for them to join us if they wished, but our kids would have Christmas at our house. I don’t know that everyone liked it, but they respected it. You deserve the same respect of your decisions.
Report
3points
#28 Mils Never Learn Their Lessons Do They?
Last year, my MIL announced our pregnancy to others, and when called out on it, took no accountability, made excuses, and husband basically chewed her out and they didn’t talk for a bit, it was a whole thing.
This year she came to meet our newborn. When holding our baby she said “oh your cousin Sarah is pregnant! But it’s not public yet so don’t tell anyone”.
Sufficient-Split5214:
If you decide to have another child don't tell her about the pregnancy until you and DH have publicly announced it. She'll find out when everyone else does. If she whines about it tell her that it's because she can't keep her mouth shut.
This year she came to meet our newborn. When holding our baby she said “oh your cousin Sarah is pregnant! But it’s not public yet so don’t tell anyone”.
Sufficient-Split5214:
If you decide to have another child don't tell her about the pregnancy until you and DH have publicly announced it. She'll find out when everyone else does. If she whines about it tell her that it's because she can't keep her mouth shut.
Report
3points
#29 Pregnant With Twins And She Thinks Everything Has To Be Her Way
Hi everyone!
We are currently expecting our first children and are 27 weeks pregnant. Boy and girl twins!
My mother-in-law has gotten it in her head that we're going to f**k everything up and that we need her to come back to the home state and take over.
First it was the registry. Then it was where I wanted to give birth. Then it was vaccinations. Her kids are vaccinated but now she's anti-vaxx??? I don't get it. Then she wants us to move to her state because she can be so much more helpful! Especially with two kids.
Trust me, I get it.. I helped raise my siblings. Kids are hard. But I don't want to move out to her state and start over fresh just because "mommy" says so.
Idek what kind of advice to ask for at this point. Maybe it's more of a vent post. This pregnant mama is TIRED.
maybebabyg:
The phrase I used to shut my MIL down was "I will not be taking advice from anyone with children over 5." (MIL's youngest was older than me.) I also highly advise grey rocking: one word answers, do not elaborate, tell her things aren't her business, give her nothing.
At least my crazy pants anti-vaxx relative had great-gran around to tell her what it was like growing up before the polio vaccine.
Congrats on the twins. You're gonna rock this! Mine are 11 and the best advice I can give is find your local multiple birth group, we have AMBA in Australia and they are lifesavers.
We are currently expecting our first children and are 27 weeks pregnant. Boy and girl twins!
My mother-in-law has gotten it in her head that we're going to f**k everything up and that we need her to come back to the home state and take over.
First it was the registry. Then it was where I wanted to give birth. Then it was vaccinations. Her kids are vaccinated but now she's anti-vaxx??? I don't get it. Then she wants us to move to her state because she can be so much more helpful! Especially with two kids.
Trust me, I get it.. I helped raise my siblings. Kids are hard. But I don't want to move out to her state and start over fresh just because "mommy" says so.
Idek what kind of advice to ask for at this point. Maybe it's more of a vent post. This pregnant mama is TIRED.
maybebabyg:
The phrase I used to shut my MIL down was "I will not be taking advice from anyone with children over 5." (MIL's youngest was older than me.) I also highly advise grey rocking: one word answers, do not elaborate, tell her things aren't her business, give her nothing.
At least my crazy pants anti-vaxx relative had great-gran around to tell her what it was like growing up before the polio vaccine.
Congrats on the twins. You're gonna rock this! Mine are 11 and the best advice I can give is find your local multiple birth group, we have AMBA in Australia and they are lifesavers.
Report
3points
#30 My Mil Basically Runs Away From Me Every Time I Hand Her The Baby
She always turns her back and gets to another room as quickly as she can. I’ve asked her not to do this and she still does. I know part of it might be that she doesn’t want my baby to cry or reach for me, but it seems like more than that. And my baby doesn’t even do that very often. And in fact, she cries more when my MIL runs out of the room with her. Today I was following her around trying to keep her in my line of sight and she was very intentionally trying to get away. I don’t think she should override a baby’s communication (asking for mom) or a mother’s request for her own gratification.
Sami_George:
MIL: “Can I hold the baby?”
You: “Are you going to run away with her again?”
Sami_George:
MIL: “Can I hold the baby?”
You: “Are you going to run away with her again?”
Report
3points
#31 She Strikes Again!
So my MIL has this obsession with wanting to babysit my infant child alone because she "needs to bond" with her. When she was just SIX weeks old my MIL started asking to watch her alone etc. etc.... not only that her own daughter I heard once saying that the MIL needs to have one on one time with my baby. What the hell?
So, my husband and I had plans that got cancelled and I was happy about it because I do not want my kid being watched alone yet she is far too young and to be honest everyone in MIL's household has issues with focusing their attention (no offence to anyone) and no one pays attention to anything and I don't want my kid falling or getting something stuck in their throat because no one was paying attention. Besides, MIL has shown more than once that she doesn't put my kid's safety first, fed her food too big to chew and she started choking, baby broke out in hives after she wore perfume for like the 10th time even though I asked her not to because the baby has sensitive skin.
Anyway, fast forward to today, my husband and his mother had lunch together just them and she kind of attacked him saying it's not fair that she can't have alone time with HER grandkid... my husband told her it's weird that she is demanding alone time with an INFANT and when my kid can walk and talk then she can have her alone a few hours. He also explained that I as his wife if I am not comfortable leaving our INFANT child with anyone that she should respect it and stop being a massive jerk. She is so snotty her and her 4 other daughters, I know that they sit around and gossip I can totally feel the energy.
2FatC
“…that she should respect it and stop being a massive jerk“
Wow. It’s so inspirational to read about a courageous husband & father. I am raising my glass of 1908 Empress gin to your rock star man. Cheers!
So, my husband and I had plans that got cancelled and I was happy about it because I do not want my kid being watched alone yet she is far too young and to be honest everyone in MIL's household has issues with focusing their attention (no offence to anyone) and no one pays attention to anything and I don't want my kid falling or getting something stuck in their throat because no one was paying attention. Besides, MIL has shown more than once that she doesn't put my kid's safety first, fed her food too big to chew and she started choking, baby broke out in hives after she wore perfume for like the 10th time even though I asked her not to because the baby has sensitive skin.
Anyway, fast forward to today, my husband and his mother had lunch together just them and she kind of attacked him saying it's not fair that she can't have alone time with HER grandkid... my husband told her it's weird that she is demanding alone time with an INFANT and when my kid can walk and talk then she can have her alone a few hours. He also explained that I as his wife if I am not comfortable leaving our INFANT child with anyone that she should respect it and stop being a massive jerk. She is so snotty her and her 4 other daughters, I know that they sit around and gossip I can totally feel the energy.
2FatC
“…that she should respect it and stop being a massive jerk“
Wow. It’s so inspirational to read about a courageous husband & father. I am raising my glass of 1908 Empress gin to your rock star man. Cheers!
Report
3points
#32 Telling In-Laws They Must Stay At Hotel Post Birth?
Hello,
So I now have to have a scheduled C section because my baby is breech and I’m worried about the recovery period. My in laws will have to come from out of town but I only want them visiting for like 3 nights maybe Thursday to Sunday and I want them to stay at a hotel since it will be maybe 3 or 4 weeks post C section, does that sound reasonable?
I’m also worried they will come and be at our house all day, I’d prefer the visit be shorter during the day time since I’ll be recovering but that convo might be more difficult since we will tell them to stay at a hotel.
My in-laws are both very loud, have to be hosted or have something planned for them and I know my MIL will want to hold the baby or hover over my every move with the baby so it’s just a lot to deal with when they come over plus they like to make criticisms and unwanted suggestions.
Mind you she also told my friends at my shower that we told her they can’t come to the hospital which isn’t true, we just gave them the option of hospital vs visiting later but said a hospital visit might be too short and there’s a lot going on since they have to fly in. She also followed me around my shower asking if baby was kicking so she can touch my belly without asking.. so she’s a lot.
helell33a:
Rules for guests after you give birth. 1. Mom and dad are not hosting. 2. Guest is here to support you and is required to help where needed. 3. Help means making dinner , grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry. 4. No baby grabbing unless asked to watch so mom can take a nap or shower. 5. Give baby back as soon as asked.
So I now have to have a scheduled C section because my baby is breech and I’m worried about the recovery period. My in laws will have to come from out of town but I only want them visiting for like 3 nights maybe Thursday to Sunday and I want them to stay at a hotel since it will be maybe 3 or 4 weeks post C section, does that sound reasonable?
I’m also worried they will come and be at our house all day, I’d prefer the visit be shorter during the day time since I’ll be recovering but that convo might be more difficult since we will tell them to stay at a hotel.
My in-laws are both very loud, have to be hosted or have something planned for them and I know my MIL will want to hold the baby or hover over my every move with the baby so it’s just a lot to deal with when they come over plus they like to make criticisms and unwanted suggestions.
Mind you she also told my friends at my shower that we told her they can’t come to the hospital which isn’t true, we just gave them the option of hospital vs visiting later but said a hospital visit might be too short and there’s a lot going on since they have to fly in. She also followed me around my shower asking if baby was kicking so she can touch my belly without asking.. so she’s a lot.
helell33a:
Rules for guests after you give birth. 1. Mom and dad are not hosting. 2. Guest is here to support you and is required to help where needed. 3. Help means making dinner , grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry. 4. No baby grabbing unless asked to watch so mom can take a nap or shower. 5. Give baby back as soon as asked.
Report
3points
#33 Mil Has Essentially Ignored Our Pregnancy And Is Now Offering To "Drop Everything" To Come And Help With The Baby
2 year drama involving 3/4 of my husband's family at this point, and MIL is a key player in stirring stuff against us. Prior to this, they seemed like a relatively normal family so this is all new for my husband too.
Back in Feb, FIL spread some nasty rumors about me and made our whole conflict worse, so my husband challenged his parents over it via email and also let them know we were pregnant. I think we hoped that a new life coming into the world might give them some perspective and prompt them to go back to acting like normal humans or thereabouts.
MIL text him a few weeks later to say congratulations, and then immediately launched into her complaints about the tone of his email, tried a few more tactics like rewriting history etc. They spoke on the phone on two occasions because we still hoped for a healthy reconciliation at that time, but the conversations were a disaster. After a final text conversation in which my husband said that he wasn't going to go in circles with her, and needed assurance that the basic facts of the situation would be admitted, she decided to opt out.
She didn't ask a single question about the baby during those conversations. His family didn't know our due date, whether we were having a boy or girl etc but we figured they might come out of the woodwork around the time they might guess the baby was due.
Now, 6 months after their last conversation and not having checked on us in any way, MIL text my husband last night to say she loves us both, doesn't know if we've had the baby, but if we need any help then she'd drop everything to come help us. We live 3 states away and I cannot fathom why she thinks we'd have her set foot in our home, let alone give her access to our child after the way she's treated us both.
Utter lunatic.
Tlthree:
She is only after the baby, not either of you. Whether that is to play ‘good grandma’ for her friends, or baby rabies is not clear.
Back in Feb, FIL spread some nasty rumors about me and made our whole conflict worse, so my husband challenged his parents over it via email and also let them know we were pregnant. I think we hoped that a new life coming into the world might give them some perspective and prompt them to go back to acting like normal humans or thereabouts.
MIL text him a few weeks later to say congratulations, and then immediately launched into her complaints about the tone of his email, tried a few more tactics like rewriting history etc. They spoke on the phone on two occasions because we still hoped for a healthy reconciliation at that time, but the conversations were a disaster. After a final text conversation in which my husband said that he wasn't going to go in circles with her, and needed assurance that the basic facts of the situation would be admitted, she decided to opt out.
She didn't ask a single question about the baby during those conversations. His family didn't know our due date, whether we were having a boy or girl etc but we figured they might come out of the woodwork around the time they might guess the baby was due.
Now, 6 months after their last conversation and not having checked on us in any way, MIL text my husband last night to say she loves us both, doesn't know if we've had the baby, but if we need any help then she'd drop everything to come help us. We live 3 states away and I cannot fathom why she thinks we'd have her set foot in our home, let alone give her access to our child after the way she's treated us both.
Utter lunatic.
Tlthree:
She is only after the baby, not either of you. Whether that is to play ‘good grandma’ for her friends, or baby rabies is not clear.
Report
3points
#34 Mil Posted Pics Of Our Baby Despite Us Saying We Aren’t Allowing His Face Online
The title says it all. I only found out because she added my mom on facebook. My partner (32) and I (32) had our son at the end of August and took LO to meet her when I was 4 days pp because it was her birthday. She posted full face photos (about 10 of them) on that day and conveniently didn’t tag my partner (even though she regularly does).
We had convos with our families while I was pregnant that we would not be sharing LO’s photo online & if anyone posted him they would have their photo and visit rights revoked and trust would be broken. My partner didn’t see the post & I removed her long ago for other reasons but she added my mother yesterday and I saw the post.
Partner said he would talk to her about it but I am just absolutely livid and I feel SO violated. We explained why we were keeping him offline & the nefarious nature of AI and she still went completely against our wishes. Do I also say something? Do I let him handle it?
Sami_George:
Stick to your word. Photo and visit rights have been revoked, trust is broken. Husband needs to handle this, and not gently.
We had convos with our families while I was pregnant that we would not be sharing LO’s photo online & if anyone posted him they would have their photo and visit rights revoked and trust would be broken. My partner didn’t see the post & I removed her long ago for other reasons but she added my mother yesterday and I saw the post.
Partner said he would talk to her about it but I am just absolutely livid and I feel SO violated. We explained why we were keeping him offline & the nefarious nature of AI and she still went completely against our wishes. Do I also say something? Do I let him handle it?
Sami_George:
Stick to your word. Photo and visit rights have been revoked, trust is broken. Husband needs to handle this, and not gently.
Report
3points
#35 Planned Husbands Bday Without Me
I still can't believe this happened. My MIL is usually super passive, but on my husband's birthday, she innocently said she wanted to bring him a cake to his work (he was working on his bday). My husband complied. She took that window to invite my husband's brothers, papa, aunt & uncle. Brought a full sheet cake, cut it with plates & utensils, brought CANDLES (in a hospital!) and SANG HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY (in English & then in Portuguese) IN THE LOBBY OF THE HOSPITAL WHILE HE WAS WORKING. ANNDDD did not even think to mention it to me!
My husband told me he was super embarrassed and annoyed - he had no idea anyone else was coming. And she had the gall to say "I hope you got to celebrate more earlier today!" like passive aggressive 'i hope your wife actually did something for you, but I know I did it better!' What the hell is wring with this lady.
Miserable-Ice683:
Candles…in a hospital…where there is supplemental oxygen plumbed through the walls? I would be GLAD I wasn’t involved in this if I were you, how embarrassing.
My husband told me he was super embarrassed and annoyed - he had no idea anyone else was coming. And she had the gall to say "I hope you got to celebrate more earlier today!" like passive aggressive 'i hope your wife actually did something for you, but I know I did it better!' What the hell is wring with this lady.
Miserable-Ice683:
Candles…in a hospital…where there is supplemental oxygen plumbed through the walls? I would be GLAD I wasn’t involved in this if I were you, how embarrassing.
Report
3points
#36 Mil Keeps Blaming Me Every Time She Forgets My Birthday
My MIL keeps forgetting my birthday. I’ve been with my husband for almost 5 years and she already forgot my birthday twice. This year we just had a baby, and she invited herself over for a visit to “hold the baby” the day after my birthday. I told my husband that I think she forgot again this year, and he said that surely she must know and is just waiting to congratulate me when she comes over. But of course she forgot and didn’t mention a thing about it. When we visit his family again a month later for his sisters birthday, she somehow remembered it. But then she says to me in private, that she “is very upset with me.” And then she goes on to blame ME for her not remembering my birthday, because “that is my own fault for not inviting to a birthday party.” I have never held a birthday party for myself ever, and she knows that. I even told her that now we have kids, their birthdays will be the only birthday parties we throw.
So I told her again that I won’t be hosting a birthday party for myself, and if that upsets her, that I don’t expect any gifts or message from her in the future. And while it is true that I don’t care about gifts, I do care about getting a message on my birthday from supposed “family.” Especially when I am the one remembering every single one of their birthdays and I am even the one out finding the gifts for everyone, because my husband always forgets. So it would be nice to be shown the same courtesy from my in-laws, but I guess that will never happen because they just don’t care.
Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933:
Drop the rope. Stop remembering their birthdays and buying gifts. If your husband forgets that’s on him. There is no reason that it should be your responsibility to source gifts and remind your husband that it’s his own blood family’s birthday. Give them the same amount of effort that they are giving you. Zero
So I told her again that I won’t be hosting a birthday party for myself, and if that upsets her, that I don’t expect any gifts or message from her in the future. And while it is true that I don’t care about gifts, I do care about getting a message on my birthday from supposed “family.” Especially when I am the one remembering every single one of their birthdays and I am even the one out finding the gifts for everyone, because my husband always forgets. So it would be nice to be shown the same courtesy from my in-laws, but I guess that will never happen because they just don’t care.
Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933:
Drop the rope. Stop remembering their birthdays and buying gifts. If your husband forgets that’s on him. There is no reason that it should be your responsibility to source gifts and remind your husband that it’s his own blood family’s birthday. Give them the same amount of effort that they are giving you. Zero
Report
3points
#37 My Mil Insists To See My Bare Pregnant Belly
Ever since I got pregnant and my belly started growing she's been insisting that she wants to see "the baby bump". So we've been sharing photos like once a month of us somewhere with the belly visibly growing, but it always seemed like that's not what she wants to see. When we were on vacation she was insisting to send her a picture of the baby bump while on the beach, so I sent a picture in a dress with a text saying I'm feeling very conscious of my body changing and only feel comfortable sharing pictures in clothes and she was like sure sure, I understand. I'm 9 months pregnant now and lately she's been complaining to my husband that she feels excluded from my pregnancy (like w*f, as if my pregnancy is supposed to be some sort of inclusive community-involving experience, w*f) and that she still hasn't seen a photo of the baby bump. I asked my husband if he thinks she wants to see my full naked belly (because we've shared a lot of pictures of me with a visible belly so far) and he looked embarrassed and said "I think so".
Now I'm genuinely wondering, why the hell would a grown woman want to see a bare belly of another pregnant grown woman? I'm confused and wonder if anyone else had a similar experience with their MILs. Is it them being nosey and intrusive? Trying to set some power dynamic? To bond? Like why would she NEED to see that and insist about it for 9 months straight?
MistyMooseOnTheLoose:
I'd send a photo of your husband's naked belly the next time she asks.
aizarphilia:
Does... does she think you're faking the pregnancy?
Now I'm genuinely wondering, why the hell would a grown woman want to see a bare belly of another pregnant grown woman? I'm confused and wonder if anyone else had a similar experience with their MILs. Is it them being nosey and intrusive? Trying to set some power dynamic? To bond? Like why would she NEED to see that and insist about it for 9 months straight?
MistyMooseOnTheLoose:
I'd send a photo of your husband's naked belly the next time she asks.
aizarphilia:
Does... does she think you're faking the pregnancy?
Report
2points
