I can’t imagine the pressure that parents feel when naming their children. Finding a name that has a positive connotation, that both parents love and that, ideally, won’t leave their child being one of 10 Sarahs in their kindergarten class can feel like an impossible task.
But when in doubt, go for something classic. If you find yourself resorting to the name of your favorite Transformer or Pokémon, you might be better suited for having a pet, not a child.
Redditors have recently been sharing the worst names they’ve ever heard for children, so we’ve gathered some of the most atrocious ones below. Please don’t take any inspiration from this list when naming your own kids, pandas, and be sure to upvote the names that you hope aren’t actually on birth certificates!
#41
V*gina. Pronounced VAJ-ah-na. The mother saw the word in print and thought it was nice.
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49points
#42
My mom knew a Harry Pitts in high school. I also work at a college and saw a student with the first name “Violence.”.
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46points
#43
Colon. Not Collin. It may not be weird name to some people, but all I can think of is the large intestine when I hear that name.
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46points
#44
Girl I know from college named her kid “Moatley” because she likes the idea of castle moats and the protection they provide. She’s now pregnant again, can’t wait to see what awful name the next kid is saddled with.
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46points
#45
I did a form in work today. The person's first name was Amazing-Grace.
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45points
#46
I am a retired teacher and I really know or knew these people and families and so, I cannot make my own comments, but you feel free!
1) Nosmoking (first thing Mom saw when she woke up)
2) Female (3 syllables, rhymes with tamale) (that’s what doctor wrote on her bracelet)
3) Asia
4) Barling (as in darling, just wanted something different)
5) Starfish
6) Rainbow
7) Sir, Mister
8) Knowing God
9) Prince, Princess, Queen, King, Duke
10) Bestie
11) Bictha
1) Nosmoking (first thing Mom saw when she woke up)
2) Female (3 syllables, rhymes with tamale) (that’s what doctor wrote on her bracelet)
3) Asia
4) Barling (as in darling, just wanted something different)
5) Starfish
6) Rainbow
7) Sir, Mister
8) Knowing God
9) Prince, Princess, Queen, King, Duke
10) Bestie
11) Bictha
These are just the ones that come to mind quickly. There are many more creative ones. My stomach hurts now though.
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44points
#47
I once knew a kid named "Fiasco." Yep, sounds like setting high expectations right from birth!
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42points
#48
This girl I knew, her legal name was Female. Her mother couldn’t pick a name and it was left as female. Once it was too late to change, it was all hell. Everyone called her Jackie cause that’s what she wanted but legally, her name is Female. We would always fun of her and pronounce it like the word Tamale. fem-all-ee. She hated it😭.
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40points