I can’t imagine the pressure that parents feel when naming their children. Finding a name that has a positive connotation, that both parents love and that, ideally, won’t leave their child being one of 10 Sarahs in their kindergarten class can feel like an impossible task.
But when in doubt, go for something classic. If you find yourself resorting to the name of your favorite Transformer or Pokémon, you might be better suited for having a pet, not a child.
Redditors have recently been sharing the worst names they’ve ever heard for children, so we’ve gathered some of the most atrocious ones below. Please don’t take any inspiration from this list when naming your own kids, pandas, and be sure to upvote the names that you hope aren’t actually on birth certificates!
#21
I have a neighbor called Batman. I think it's dope but I couldn't call my child that.
Report
72points
#22
When I was working at a restaurant, a guy gave me a credit card to pay and I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it. His name: Alpha Gay.
Report
66points
#25
Banjoman. He went by Bo.
It was pronounced "Banjamen". So I assumed his parents were too redneck and uneducated to know how "Benjamin" was spelled.
Report
64points
#26
This isn’t the worst name, it’s actually very common. But I went to high school with a girl named Casey Diaz. I didn’t make the connection until my friend just chuckled and said, ‘quesadillas, hahaha’.
Report
63points
#27
I had a colleague whose brother named their baby son Dude. She was distraught and pretty disgusted 😬.
Report
63points
#28
My son played soccer with a kid named Anaconda.
We had a customer at work who was a male named Sarah, and another customer (whose family was not American) named Mahboob.
Report
63points
#29
Heard about an airline being sued because the attendants were making fun of a child passenger's name which is, I s**t you not, Abcde. Like of course your child is going to be bullied for a fuck*ss name like that.
60points
#30
I once met a kid named "WiFi." Yep, you heard that right. I guess their parents wanted them to be constantly connected...to their name!
Report
58points
#31
I worked with someone who met a kid named Meconium (yes, as in baby's first poop).
Report
58points
#32
My dad's assistant named her daughter Slanina which essentially means "pig fat" in Romanian. She even pronounced it the same way as the word is pronounced in Romanian: sluh-ni-nuh.
57points
#33
When I was a teenager I worked with a guy named Jack Hoff. As a teacher I had students in the same class named Rusty Buzzoff and Carmen Butts. I also had a student who’s 15 year old sister had a baby girl and named her Pebbles Champagne.
Report
57points
#35
I don't work in the porn/stripper industry but I've had a customer named Misty Butts and another named Krystal Power.
Report
52points
#36
I once met a kid named "Cyanide." I guess their parents were aiming for something unique, but they probably didn't realize it's also a deadly poison. Talk about starting life with a bang!
Report
52points
#37
Delicious.... and it was a guy... you will find many funny 'english' names in our part of the world... many many.
Report
51points
#38
I went to school with a girl named Princess. She was exactly what you'd expect from someone with that name.
Report
50points
#39
I went to school with a Richard Lycker. The jokes were endless.
Report
50points
#40
I knew a boy called Rambo he was 8 when the first movie came out. They changed his name within 6 months.
Report
49points