Since humans are social animals and tend to thrive in healthy relationships, it’s no wonder we surround ourselves with people we love. Unfortunately, even if we’ve bonded with someone, things can go wrong if they are toxic, manipulative, or selfish, as that can be hard to accept.
This is what a lot of folks have experienced, who struggled to cut off their terrible loved ones until one incident served as a reality check. This list is full of such stories and might give you an insight into how complicated relationships truly are.
#21
" (late husband) is lucky, he doesn't have to put up with your bs." Said by an ex partner that I'd known since I was 14.
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One of the most difficult things for people to do is end a friendship, and according to YouGov research, nearly 68% of Americans have done it before, while 24% have never cut off a buddy. This behavior seems more common among Generation X and Baby Boomers than among Millennials and Gen Z, which may seem surprising.
About 52% of folks say they've been on the receiving end of a friendship breakup, and 24% feel they’ve experienced it but aren’t sure. That’s because with acquaintances or buddies, it can be tough to cut them off, and some folks may opt to ghost instead of being direct.
#22
“How long until you get over your mom passing?” - this was 3 months after I palliated my mother with stage four lung cancer in my mid-twenties - in the spring of 2020.
Edit: thank you for the awards to all those who have experienced the same thing, I’m so glad we’ve all escaped those people.
Edit: thank you for the awards to all those who have experienced the same thing, I’m so glad we’ve all escaped those people.
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#23
Friend I was close with for years. She said about my black SO who had a good career and a master’s degree: “He’s not black black, he doesn’t sell illegal substances or anything.” She’s a white woman. That single statement made me go “huh, I think I’m done here.”
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#24
My ex partner. Was together about a year, loved her endlessly. She was acting really weird over text whilst I was at work, so I stepped out for a minute to call ask her if she was okay... "I really don't want to do this over the phone."
Knew there and then it was over. Picking up my stuff was hard, not getting to say goodbye to her kid I'd bonded with over the past year was harder.
Knew there and then it was over. Picking up my stuff was hard, not getting to say goodbye to her kid I'd bonded with over the past year was harder.
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Breaking up with a partner can be the most painful thing to do, and research by Connected, which is a couples app, mentions that 45% of marriages tend to end in divorce, and 50% of cohabiting unmarried couples break up within five years.
In college relationships, 60% end within the first year of graduation, and the peak window to break up is within 3-5 months, or 1-2 years if there are deeper issues. Many things can push people to end a close bond, from infidelity to financial issues.
#25
She said, "You're not worth it."
There was context to it, but it still snapped me out of trying any longer.
There was context to it, but it still snapped me out of trying any longer.
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#26
Both of my parents passed within 6 months of each other last year. While we were in the middle of an argument 4 months after my dad passed and like 9 months (?) after my mother passed… she pulled out her phone to call her mom and tell her what I had just said while we were fighting. When I asked “why are you calling your mom right now?!?” She said to me “Because I have one!”
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#27
“He begged me not to fire him.” My ex ran a business and someone omitted a detail in his minimum wage app about having been in prison. The person was a good employee but as soon as my ex found out, he fired him, seemingly enjoyed it. I think he really enjoyed having someone beg.
My ex is a cruel man who can wear a mask of niceness.
My ex is a cruel man who can wear a mask of niceness.
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Breaking up with someone can be the toughest thing to do, but according to this list, there are some valid reasons for folks to go through with this decision. Whether it helps them thrive later on or becomes a regret is something each individual has to figure out later.
What do you think would be a dealbreaker for you in a relationship? We’d love to hear your stories in the comments below.
#28
History: at a friends house my kid got hungry. I askes if there was some kind of snack we could give the kids. Friend was on their last bits of food, showed me less than half a loaf of bread and most of a fish he had to last the next 3 days. Wife and I took our kid for some takeout. Then we went shopping and got my friend maybe $80 in groceries. Dude was plenty happy, his wife may have cried a bit.
Much later: Friend came to me with the same down on his luck body language and passive personality he had when he showed me how little food he had. Told me he had to sell his Xbox 360, and he needed at least $80. I talked it over with my wife, it set us back a bit but the $80 didn't make us miss any bills.
The next time I see him he holds out a preorder receipt for the Xbox 1 and wiggles it back and forth, doing a little "I've got a newer one than you!" song.
If he wanted the money for a game system I'd have helped out. He made me think his kids were going hungry. I don't like being lied to like that.
Much later: Friend came to me with the same down on his luck body language and passive personality he had when he showed me how little food he had. Told me he had to sell his Xbox 360, and he needed at least $80. I talked it over with my wife, it set us back a bit but the $80 didn't make us miss any bills.
The next time I see him he holds out a preorder receipt for the Xbox 1 and wiggles it back and forth, doing a little "I've got a newer one than you!" song.
If he wanted the money for a game system I'd have helped out. He made me think his kids were going hungry. I don't like being lied to like that.
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#29
After telling a friend I was going to have my second c-section instead of a VBAC, she said “you know, I thought you were more of a warrior than that.”
Uh, sorry that the health and safety of myself and my soon to be born baby trumps being a “warrior”. She had no idea what my doctor and I had discussed as options or why that was chosen for this birth. All she wanted was to pass some sort of smug judgment because she had a VBAC.
Uh, sorry that the health and safety of myself and my soon to be born baby trumps being a “warrior”. She had no idea what my doctor and I had discussed as options or why that was chosen for this birth. All she wanted was to pass some sort of smug judgment because she had a VBAC.
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#30
I took her kid all summer to give her time to work extra hours and save up to move out of her room rental. Took the kid on vacation, bought the kid a whole new wardrobe, got them eating stuff that wasn’t just white bread and chicken nuggets. After telling me about how she spent $300 on a new tattoo because she missed her baby so much, the mom said “You kidnapped my kid. I should have called the cops on you.” Nope. Just nope.
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#31
When I was trying to explain that I felt my needs weren't being treated as relevant and that I missed having companionship, two phrases closed the deal: "This is a non-issue" and "Who in their right mind would want to keep you company in this?"
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#32
Closed a really good work deal. Huge thing for me (I was WFH as was she when it happened). I was super excited. She knew this was possible.
First thing I did was go to tell her, I'm grinning ear to ear, SO happy.
She's "Oh. Ok. I don't get anything out of it do I?". Completely flat. That's the moment I realised she basically had no empathy.
Took a while longer, but broke up yesterday.
First thing I did was go to tell her, I'm grinning ear to ear, SO happy.
She's "Oh. Ok. I don't get anything out of it do I?". Completely flat. That's the moment I realised she basically had no empathy.
Took a while longer, but broke up yesterday.
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#33
After we broke up and she had ruined my sister’s wedding for me. Her response was “I wish your sister had never got married” made me realise she would never take accountability for any of her actions and was the most self centred person I have ever met.
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#35
I got accepted for a short 9 week course to privately study music by an acclaimed professional... When I told my partner she said "Why are you telling me? You know I don't care about that stuff".
My next words were "We're done, you've got until I get back to move out".
My next words were "We're done, you've got until I get back to move out".
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#36
Husband of over ten years- “if you want someone to care about your feelings, get a therapist.”
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#37
I (then 22) asked my mom why she was suddenly making so many racist jokes, when she put such effort into my childhood to teach me tolerance and to treat everybody equally.
She replied “Oh honey, that was just for when you were a kid! You’re an adult now!”
She replied “Oh honey, that was just for when you were a kid! You’re an adult now!”
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#38
A close friend said "There are other teams you can join, you don't need to be on mine."
This was for a volleyball league we had played on the previous summer, and the team she had created. Apparently I was no longer welcome to join them.
This was for a volleyball league we had played on the previous summer, and the team she had created. Apparently I was no longer welcome to join them.
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#39
I was trying to talk to my boyfriend about how for a long time, I had felt like I had to approach every conversation carefully, because if what I said wasn't "perfect", using the exact right words, spoken in an acceptably calm voice, he'd pick it apart and dismiss everything I was saying as irrational, reactive, a "logical fallacy", etc. (he was very proud of having been a judge for his high school debate team ).
At one point he squeezed his eyes shut, put his hands together as if praying and said through gritted teeth, "Get to the point, get to the point."
Nope. Done. I blurted out "I don't want to be with you!* without thinking. I had started that conversation hoping that if I could finally get him to understand me, we could try to work on our issues and save the relationship, but in that moment, I realized it was not worth saving.
At one point he squeezed his eyes shut, put his hands together as if praying and said through gritted teeth, "Get to the point, get to the point."
Nope. Done. I blurted out "I don't want to be with you!* without thinking. I had started that conversation hoping that if I could finally get him to understand me, we could try to work on our issues and save the relationship, but in that moment, I realized it was not worth saving.
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#40
I said I was lonely and sad and I had called a counsellor and they do couples appointments, which I suggested was a good idea. He said “sounds like you are the one with the problem but I hope counselling helps you.”
Later he told me in passing “I just wanted to say that since you have been going to counselling we have been having much better conversations.” Little did he know that I had completely disconnected and lost all my fight as soon as he said our relationship was my problem to sort out alone. My feelings were gone and I built my escape plan. Of course he felt blind sided.
Later he told me in passing “I just wanted to say that since you have been going to counselling we have been having much better conversations.” Little did he know that I had completely disconnected and lost all my fight as soon as he said our relationship was my problem to sort out alone. My feelings were gone and I built my escape plan. Of course he felt blind sided.
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