Proposing marriage is asking a person to spend the rest of their life with you. But many factors have to feel right for someone to say “Yes.” In fact, about one in four women have rejected a marriage proposal, according to research from the travel firm Superbreak.
It might seem impossible for a relationship to continue after the woman says “No.” However, studies show that about 30% of couples go on as if nothing happened or even get married later on.
Some people bring up the question to their partners unexpectedly and then have to deal with a response they didn’t anticipate. Bored Panda has collected some stories from several online threads about what happens when proposals go awry. Some end in heartbreak, others get do-overs and end in lasting marriages, while others lead to shocking and extra-public revelations.
#41
I denied my now husband the first time he proposed. At the time I assumed we would one day marry as we loved each other completely. However, we hadn't had that conversation yet. When he proposed I was so blown away and went through some sort of shock. Utter surprise is an understatement. I started crying and told him how much I loved him but I just needed to process the magnitude of what happened. We spent a long time just talking. We went on through the rest of the day by having a very nice day date. We spent more time talking about what I said and why. We were and still are very in love. He proposed again a month or so later, I said yes. That was 3 years ago. Our first baby will be here in February!
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10points
#42
Turned down one guy because we didn't agree on how children should be raised.
Turned down another guy because he proposed after I had moved on from our relationship.
Turned down another guy because he proposed after I had moved on from our relationship.
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10points
#43
We were 19. He proposed with a cubic zirconia ring and pretended to impress me (and all of our friends) by stating it was real.
In general, he was a chronic liar and cheater. Very insecure and seemed to be the type who wanted to "trap" someone into marriage. I was much more insecure and passive then.
He got married two months ago. Thank God I said no.
In general, he was a chronic liar and cheater. Very insecure and seemed to be the type who wanted to "trap" someone into marriage. I was much more insecure and passive then.
He got married two months ago. Thank God I said no.
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10points
#44
We started dating two weeks into college and dated all through college. It was really REALLY rocky the last year or so. Because I didn't have an identity outside of "dudes girlfriend" I had trouble breaking it off. So I got a second job, enrolled in 18 hours, and decided I would get a 4.0. This was all done so I wouldn't see him as much. The fighting decreased because I was too busy with all that to sweat the small stuff.
Well, we stopped fighting because I didn't give a frick anymore. He believed that it was a good sign and popped the question on the way home from his parents house in Chicago. On the plane.
Worst flight ever. It was a good decision because it turned out he already had someone lined up and they were dating within a couple of weeks or so. He got her pregnant I think three months after we broke up.
Poor thing... I remember that she used to call me about their relationship problems, WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR HIS CHILD, because I knew him better than she did.
It always struck me as insane that she was carrying his child, but also knew that she didn't know him well enough to know when he was lying. Who does that?
She was beautiful too. Just a wee bit dumb. Got caught up in the DJ ho mode I guess.
Well, we stopped fighting because I didn't give a frick anymore. He believed that it was a good sign and popped the question on the way home from his parents house in Chicago. On the plane.
Worst flight ever. It was a good decision because it turned out he already had someone lined up and they were dating within a couple of weeks or so. He got her pregnant I think three months after we broke up.
Poor thing... I remember that she used to call me about their relationship problems, WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR HIS CHILD, because I knew him better than she did.
It always struck me as insane that she was carrying his child, but also knew that she didn't know him well enough to know when he was lying. Who does that?
She was beautiful too. Just a wee bit dumb. Got caught up in the DJ ho mode I guess.
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10points
#45
I said no because i honestly was not prepared for such commitment so early and that fast. We have been seeing each other for about a year I was 22 he was 24 and was always the super romantic kind of guy, Don't get me wrong i love this but it he was always rushing things way too early and too soon. Luckily he didn't plan a fancy proposal kind of thing just surprise asked me at home so I had to say no then. It didn't take long for us to break up eventually.
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9points
#46
Oh god. I have a story!
My good friend was dating this guy for nearly two years.
I could tell things were getting a bit stale with them, one day when we went out to get lunch she told me that she was going to break it off with the guy.
She seemed far more stressed about hurting the guy, he was an alright person in my book, but anyhoo she is telling me how she is going to do it and was asking for advice.
Right in the middle of me giving her some input, the guy comes in and looks a bit frantic, she must've told him that she was going there to meet me.
He musters up the courage and walks right to our table, completely ignoring me, gets on one knee and pulls out the ring. The dude was shaking so much, and I was in awe of the worst timing ever, that my mouth was open in shock. People around that I was excited so everyone gathers around the table starts cheering, the guy asks my friend and my friend just got up and walked out to her car and drove off.
I almost passed from second-hand embarrassment .All I remember if gasps and snickering from the people near me and he just sat in her place looking crushed. I didn't know what to say. I feel kinda bad so I just got the check ASAP and gave him a pat on the back.
He is doing better, the last I heard, this has been about a year now.
My friend is still recovering from the whole ordeal lol.
My good friend was dating this guy for nearly two years.
I could tell things were getting a bit stale with them, one day when we went out to get lunch she told me that she was going to break it off with the guy.
She seemed far more stressed about hurting the guy, he was an alright person in my book, but anyhoo she is telling me how she is going to do it and was asking for advice.
Right in the middle of me giving her some input, the guy comes in and looks a bit frantic, she must've told him that she was going there to meet me.
He musters up the courage and walks right to our table, completely ignoring me, gets on one knee and pulls out the ring. The dude was shaking so much, and I was in awe of the worst timing ever, that my mouth was open in shock. People around that I was excited so everyone gathers around the table starts cheering, the guy asks my friend and my friend just got up and walked out to her car and drove off.
I almost passed from second-hand embarrassment .All I remember if gasps and snickering from the people near me and he just sat in her place looking crushed. I didn't know what to say. I feel kinda bad so I just got the check ASAP and gave him a pat on the back.
He is doing better, the last I heard, this has been about a year now.
My friend is still recovering from the whole ordeal lol.
8points
#47
He was really drunk and I had never met him before. He bought me a drink and then asked the next girl. St Patrick's Day is a beautiful thing.
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8points
#48
I've had three or four nos depending on how you count.
First one was initially a yes. We'd had a mostly long distance romance and I proposed after a couple years, but we still hardly knew each other. After visiting her family, and spending time learning less flattering things about me, I think I became tarnished in her eyes and she broke it off.
Second one, I proposed once, she said yes, and then when she called her parents the next day they refused to recognize the engagement and pushed her to cut it off. I hadn't met them.
Third time, same girl as second. We were engaged for a few months, even took our invite pictures. We were apart for 3 months before the wedding so I could complete a work project. During that time I had a crisis of conscience and felt like I needed a little more time. I asked her to push back the wedding, saying I loved her but I wasn't quite ready. She simply called it off. Absolutely gutted me. And I'm sure it wrecked her too. I suspect her parents had some influence, but in the end I think it was probably for the best.
Fourth time, new girl, three years later. We'd been best friends who fell into dating. I'd gotten a new job and was leaving town and wanted to take her with me to kinda start grown-up life together. So I proposed marriage. It was too early in the relationship (5 months) and it was a bad decision. She had a missionary opportunity that she took and left town.
Fifth time I proposed, new girl in a new town. We'd been dating a year. She said yes, and we have 3 kids and 13 mostly great years together.
TL;DR Keep trying.
LATE EDIT: 4 kids now.
First one was initially a yes. We'd had a mostly long distance romance and I proposed after a couple years, but we still hardly knew each other. After visiting her family, and spending time learning less flattering things about me, I think I became tarnished in her eyes and she broke it off.
Second one, I proposed once, she said yes, and then when she called her parents the next day they refused to recognize the engagement and pushed her to cut it off. I hadn't met them.
Third time, same girl as second. We were engaged for a few months, even took our invite pictures. We were apart for 3 months before the wedding so I could complete a work project. During that time I had a crisis of conscience and felt like I needed a little more time. I asked her to push back the wedding, saying I loved her but I wasn't quite ready. She simply called it off. Absolutely gutted me. And I'm sure it wrecked her too. I suspect her parents had some influence, but in the end I think it was probably for the best.
Fourth time, new girl, three years later. We'd been best friends who fell into dating. I'd gotten a new job and was leaving town and wanted to take her with me to kinda start grown-up life together. So I proposed marriage. It was too early in the relationship (5 months) and it was a bad decision. She had a missionary opportunity that she took and left town.
Fifth time I proposed, new girl in a new town. We'd been dating a year. She said yes, and we have 3 kids and 13 mostly great years together.
TL;DR Keep trying.
LATE EDIT: 4 kids now.
7points
#49
It was simply a ridiculous suggestion. We had been on and off, he hadn't been speaking to me for months until about a week before the proposal, and we hadn't discussed even *dating* again and suddenly he was on one knee with an actual diamond ring.
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7points
#50
My coworker turned down a guy when he proposed to her at work. She turned him down because they had finalized their divorce two months prior.
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7points
#51
Me: If I asked you, would you say yes?
Her: Are you asking me?
Me: I guess I sort of am.
Her: Then yes.
Me: Oy. Now I've got to get a ring.
Her: Forget it. If that's you're first thought, now it's no.
A few months later I asked again more properly, and she said yes. We went a long run before divorcing.
Her: Are you asking me?
Me: I guess I sort of am.
Her: Then yes.
Me: Oy. Now I've got to get a ring.
Her: Forget it. If that's you're first thought, now it's no.
A few months later I asked again more properly, and she said yes. We went a long run before divorcing.
6points
#52
Not me personally, but one of my close girlfriends.
She was dating this guy for 8 years, he proposed, she said no because he wasn't going anywhere with his life (not sure if true, i only know he's been working in a retail store for years and gained a lot of weight).
Her saying no was just too hard to recover from, and they broke up. He's been doing a Facebook rampage about her, starting to work out and stuff, while she found someone who she seems to love dearly.
She was dating this guy for 8 years, he proposed, she said no because he wasn't going anywhere with his life (not sure if true, i only know he's been working in a retail store for years and gained a lot of weight).
Her saying no was just too hard to recover from, and they broke up. He's been doing a Facebook rampage about her, starting to work out and stuff, while she found someone who she seems to love dearly.
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6points
#53
I'm proposing today. I will hopefully not report back.
EDIT: I'm not d**d yet. I want to go for a walk!
Seriously though, I'm proposing tonight around 8pm CT. I likely won't update this until tomorrow with the results, but I will keep you all updated. Thanks everyone for the best wishes and encouragement!
Edit 2: I'm only here for a minute! She said yes! Will post pictures later!
Edit 2.5: Pictures, as promised. Sorry for the potato quality. http://imgur.com/a/jfKms
I will likely post one final update tonight with the story, for those of you still interested! Thank you all so much for your support! It really helped my nerves yesterday to know I had so much support from so many internet friends.
Final Update: First, thank you guys so much for all of the encouragement and best wishes! It really meant a ton to me, and to my fiancé (I'm totally just using that BECAUSE I CAN!) as well when I showed her!
So, my birthday is in a few weeks, and I decided to use that as the cover for the proposal (fiancé saw through that until halfway through the night... but I'm getting ahead of myself) and an excuse to get all dressed up. My brother and his wife took us out to dinner at one of the classier places in town at 6:30. The fiancé and I met them at their house early so we could all ride together, for the sake of simplifying the return. The stated plan was to go to dinner, then go back to my family's house to watch a movie by a bonfire in their little grove, where we would be joined by my other brother and his wife. What was really happening was that we were using the sheet to conceal a small group of our friends who were there to (hopefully) celebrate with us when she said yes.
The brother who was supposed to be joining us at the house for the movie was actually there to receive the guests and hide their vehicles, as well as to show them where to hide, etc. He had the fire already made. My fiancé sat down by it immediately. I stood next to her, mentally prepping for the moment. My brother nodded to me, asking if I was ready. I gave him the confirmation, and he dropped the sheet. I wish I had a picture of the exact moment, because the look on her face was perfect. I think it will always be engraved in my memory. At first, she didn't know what was happening, and thought the sheet had been knocked down by accident. Then she realized there were people behind the sheet. After another moment, she realized they weren't my family, but our friends. I remember saying something like "This isn't actually my birthday party." and then dropping to one knee. Here's [a photo from during my speech](http://imgur.com/a/dMyuA), which I barely remember making. She started crying, then said yes, then I tried to put the ring on her finger.
I'm going to pause here, because there was a beautiful surprise from my brother at this moment. First, some context is necessary. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 15. My brother asked for her engagement ring as a token to remember her by, and planned to hand it down to one of his children someday. Instead, he secretly had it repaired and resized for my fiancé's finger and swapped it with the ring I'd purchased; because I don't make a ton of money, I'd chosen to get a very simple band to propose with. I didn't really like the idea, because I wanted her to be able to show off her engagement ring.
Anyway, back to the story. When I tried to offer her the ring, she said, "I don't care! Just hug me!" through tears. I stood up, but had already started to take the ring out of the box. I realized at this moment that the ring in my hand had something on it. I had a brief moment of panic because I thought I had accidentally left the price tag on the ring I got. Then I realized that I was holding onto the very edge of something solid, and that there was a stone on this ring. I gave my brothers a super perplexed look, trying to process what had happened.
I embraced the girl, and then kissed the girl, and then embraced her again for what was probably an awkwardly long time for everyone watching on. The rest of the evening was spent celebrating and talking with our friends by the fire. While we were talking, she mentioned to me that she had kind of expected me to propose that night, but thought I would do it at dinner. When I failed to do so, she second-guessed herself, and thought it must have actually been just a birthday part for me. I am so glad I managed to surprise her in the end. It was wonderful and emotional. I am so excited to be engaged, and I can't wait to marry this woman!
TL;DR: We had dinner with my brother and his wife, then went back to their house with the stated goal of watching a movie on a projector by a bonfire, but really, the "projector screen" was hiding a group of our friends who were waiting to celebrate with us! It was awesome!
EDIT: I'm not d**d yet. I want to go for a walk!
Seriously though, I'm proposing tonight around 8pm CT. I likely won't update this until tomorrow with the results, but I will keep you all updated. Thanks everyone for the best wishes and encouragement!
Edit 2: I'm only here for a minute! She said yes! Will post pictures later!
Edit 2.5: Pictures, as promised. Sorry for the potato quality. http://imgur.com/a/jfKms
I will likely post one final update tonight with the story, for those of you still interested! Thank you all so much for your support! It really helped my nerves yesterday to know I had so much support from so many internet friends.
Final Update: First, thank you guys so much for all of the encouragement and best wishes! It really meant a ton to me, and to my fiancé (I'm totally just using that BECAUSE I CAN!) as well when I showed her!
So, my birthday is in a few weeks, and I decided to use that as the cover for the proposal (fiancé saw through that until halfway through the night... but I'm getting ahead of myself) and an excuse to get all dressed up. My brother and his wife took us out to dinner at one of the classier places in town at 6:30. The fiancé and I met them at their house early so we could all ride together, for the sake of simplifying the return. The stated plan was to go to dinner, then go back to my family's house to watch a movie by a bonfire in their little grove, where we would be joined by my other brother and his wife. What was really happening was that we were using the sheet to conceal a small group of our friends who were there to (hopefully) celebrate with us when she said yes.
The brother who was supposed to be joining us at the house for the movie was actually there to receive the guests and hide their vehicles, as well as to show them where to hide, etc. He had the fire already made. My fiancé sat down by it immediately. I stood next to her, mentally prepping for the moment. My brother nodded to me, asking if I was ready. I gave him the confirmation, and he dropped the sheet. I wish I had a picture of the exact moment, because the look on her face was perfect. I think it will always be engraved in my memory. At first, she didn't know what was happening, and thought the sheet had been knocked down by accident. Then she realized there were people behind the sheet. After another moment, she realized they weren't my family, but our friends. I remember saying something like "This isn't actually my birthday party." and then dropping to one knee. Here's [a photo from during my speech](http://imgur.com/a/dMyuA), which I barely remember making. She started crying, then said yes, then I tried to put the ring on her finger.
I'm going to pause here, because there was a beautiful surprise from my brother at this moment. First, some context is necessary. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 15. My brother asked for her engagement ring as a token to remember her by, and planned to hand it down to one of his children someday. Instead, he secretly had it repaired and resized for my fiancé's finger and swapped it with the ring I'd purchased; because I don't make a ton of money, I'd chosen to get a very simple band to propose with. I didn't really like the idea, because I wanted her to be able to show off her engagement ring.
Anyway, back to the story. When I tried to offer her the ring, she said, "I don't care! Just hug me!" through tears. I stood up, but had already started to take the ring out of the box. I realized at this moment that the ring in my hand had something on it. I had a brief moment of panic because I thought I had accidentally left the price tag on the ring I got. Then I realized that I was holding onto the very edge of something solid, and that there was a stone on this ring. I gave my brothers a super perplexed look, trying to process what had happened.
I embraced the girl, and then kissed the girl, and then embraced her again for what was probably an awkwardly long time for everyone watching on. The rest of the evening was spent celebrating and talking with our friends by the fire. While we were talking, she mentioned to me that she had kind of expected me to propose that night, but thought I would do it at dinner. When I failed to do so, she second-guessed herself, and thought it must have actually been just a birthday part for me. I am so glad I managed to surprise her in the end. It was wonderful and emotional. I am so excited to be engaged, and I can't wait to marry this woman!
TL;DR: We had dinner with my brother and his wife, then went back to their house with the stated goal of watching a movie on a projector by a bonfire, but really, the "projector screen" was hiding a group of our friends who were waiting to celebrate with us! It was awesome!
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5points
#54
So ever since I was little when I asked how my parents got engaged this is what I got.
"Yeah your father had to ask me three times to marry him before I said yes. It was at this beautiful restaurant so on and so forth."
Cool so my dad was denied twice and got accepted on the third go around. I asked my brothers and they agreed this is the story.
Nope
Turns out my parents suck at telling stories. My father took my mother out to a fancy restaurant and said "will you marry me."
My mother being dumb was like, "yes at some point we plan on getting married" and kept going on with her life.
Then right after my dad was like "dude will you marry me?" And my mother said "of course we will don't worry."
And then my dad decided Oh maybe I should get down on one knee type deal and my mother finally understood and accepted.
They only corrected us last year after they heard us tell my brothers fiancé how they got engaged and they were like no that's not true. I've been lied to.
Edit: I'm 21 and found out earlier this year. My brothers never knew the truth either.
"Yeah your father had to ask me three times to marry him before I said yes. It was at this beautiful restaurant so on and so forth."
Cool so my dad was denied twice and got accepted on the third go around. I asked my brothers and they agreed this is the story.
Nope
Turns out my parents suck at telling stories. My father took my mother out to a fancy restaurant and said "will you marry me."
My mother being dumb was like, "yes at some point we plan on getting married" and kept going on with her life.
Then right after my dad was like "dude will you marry me?" And my mother said "of course we will don't worry."
And then my dad decided Oh maybe I should get down on one knee type deal and my mother finally understood and accepted.
They only corrected us last year after they heard us tell my brothers fiancé how they got engaged and they were like no that's not true. I've been lied to.
Edit: I'm 21 and found out earlier this year. My brothers never knew the truth either.
5points
#55
Not me, but someone I know.
At a high school reunion, I re-met the first girl I ever dated. Turns out she had just gotten engaged. But that wasn't so good.
First red flag: she had proposed to him, but he had said it wasn't her place to do that, so he brushed her off and then made her wait until he proposed to her.
Second red flag: She invited me to hang out with them one afternoon. He acted like a real immature jerk, and I hoped she knew what she was getting into.
They went ahead and got married, had kids, then his jerk routine got old and they got divorced. Now she's middle aged and on her own. Saw that coming way too clearly .... sigh.
At a high school reunion, I re-met the first girl I ever dated. Turns out she had just gotten engaged. But that wasn't so good.
First red flag: she had proposed to him, but he had said it wasn't her place to do that, so he brushed her off and then made her wait until he proposed to her.
Second red flag: She invited me to hang out with them one afternoon. He acted like a real immature jerk, and I hoped she knew what she was getting into.
They went ahead and got married, had kids, then his jerk routine got old and they got divorced. Now she's middle aged and on her own. Saw that coming way too clearly .... sigh.
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1point
#56
Well it was a blonde girl at this hindu festival, we were there as a whole office party. I dated her for only maybe couple of weeks but while talking with some old married indian couple i decided to confess my love to her. I made it public, she said no, she wanted us to talk about it. Anyway, we broke up and now i'm dating my boss.
-3points
