I don’t know about you, but the perfect comeback usually finds me several hours too late—right when I’m in the shower or desperately trying to fall asleep. By then, of course, the moment is long gone. Some people, however, seem to have a natural gift for saying exactly the right thing at exactly the right time, and the rest of us can only watch in awe.
Luckily, one Redditor asked users to share the wittiest comebacks they’ve ever said or heard, and they came through with plenty. So if you want a few sharp lines ready for later, this might come in handy. Scroll down for the best ones.
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#41
Cycling to school with my friend once aged about 11 or 12 we passed three girls, all about the same age, trying to embarrass another of the girls one shouted to my friend, "she fancies you" to which quick as a flash he replied "I don't blame her".
he's a millionaire now.
he's a millionaire now.
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#42
My 11 year old daughter was being sassy with me and I replied jokingly “I will not stand for this!”, and without missing a beat she replied “then sit down”.
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#43
My first name begins with a J, so for this exercise my name is John. I was hiking with my young kids in the woods, and one of them said they couldn't keep their left and right straight at trail junctions without overly thinking about it. "It's simple," I said, stretching my hands out in front of me. "Make an L with your left thumb and index finger, and that L stands for left. Now take your other hand and make a J. Well, J stands for John, and John is always right.".
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#44
My wife was on her moontimes. She bled a lot on the bed. I said "Whoa! That's one big period." She replied instantly "More like an exclamation point.".
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#45
I'm a bus driver, and one of our drivers has a heavy german accent. One day, a hispanic child missed their stop, but the driver couldn't speak the language. She called dispatch and asked for help, saying the little girl couldn't speak English.
The dispatcher replied: "Well, you have that in common.".
The dispatcher replied: "Well, you have that in common.".
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#46
Well, I called my 5 year old nephew a dorito because he was in an orange shirt today. His response was that I looked like a plain bagel because of my skin color... So, I'd say for his age that was pretty good.
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#47
I might be drunk but I will be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly.
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#48
When I was about to have my first child, one of my buddies made a joke that I look like the type of guy to kiss my kids on the lips.
I said "...and you look like the type of guy to kiss my kids on the lips."
He recently went no beard, just a mustache, so it landed well.
I said "...and you look like the type of guy to kiss my kids on the lips."
He recently went no beard, just a mustache, so it landed well.
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