33 Times Restaurant Workers Deserved A Bonus Just For Keeping A Straight Face Over These Orders

Had a guy walk into my tiny dive bar, plop down, slap his hands on the bar and say "gimme the rack of ribs!" 


We do not have a kitchen, have never served food, and certainly don't smoke ribs in the back 😂.

Went to London with my Mom. She asked for ranch at EVERY RESTAURANT EVERY DAY. Just in case the answer would change.

After the first few tries it became clear ranch wasn't a thing in London, but some servers had heard of it and said it was on their bucket list to try ranch.

“Coffee. Extra Hot.”

Now, that is a thing at like a proper coffee shop where they can adjust temperatures on espresso drinks. Less so for drip coffee. Less so at a burger joint, where I worked.

I made him a fresh brew, and then microwaved it for 60 seconds. “Not hot enough.”

Old people ask for weird things.

“Do you serve free bread for the table before the meal?” …it’s a burger joint.

When I used to work at McDonald's, had a dude order a Big Mac and asked for the meat to be medium rare... my brother in Christ, you do not want a McDonald's slab of meat to be medium rare, not that I had any control over the cooking (other than placing it on the grill and pressing a button).

A customer came in to the restaurant with a potato and asked us to microwave it with some cheese and butter. We did it because he was loaded and tipped generously.

As a flight attendant.. tomato juice and orange juice.. no ice. Poured both in separate cups, and got the nastiest look as if I was serving them with my fingers sticking in the rims.

I was wrong. He wanted airplane temp warm canned orange juice mixed with tomato juice, no ice. My bad, my fault.

One of the restaurants that I worked in when I was younger had a salad bar that used plastic kale.

A customer requested some after we saw them taking it up out of the ice.

Apparently they couldn't tell it was metal and plastic.

ConnoisseurOfDanger:

Salad bars used to use kale (or fake kale) as a decorative element to cover up the ice and trays in buffets. It was popular in like the late 90s/early 2000s. Pizza Hut did it, and up until 2013 when kale became a trendy superfood, they were the largest purchaser of kale in the US.

Friend of mine had a customer request “chicken head sauce.” Eventually they figured out that the customer was asking for Sriracha.

Gloomy_Ad384:

I’ve heard it called rooster sauce, but chicken head is a new one to me!

Customer brought in a small cooler of fish he’d caught recently and wanted us to cook it for him.

Asked if our pizza crust was "crispy" because she was allergic to "crispy".

I was garde manger at a white tablecloth rest.
Had a customer order the tartare well done.

Eggless omelette.

Buddy of mine worked at Red Lobster. Customer ordered "salmon steak." Customer was very upset that he was served fish.