It's no secret that most women still carry the bulk of chores at home. Often, it's not because men can't do the "dirty work"; it's because they simply don't want to. But instead of just saying they don't want to, some will go to extreme lengths to shirk their responsibilities – like doing something, then failing miserably on purpose. Maybe they'll "wash" the dishes and leave the glasses looking even more dirty. Or they'll mix colors and whites while doing the laundry.
Don't be fooled. These are not always simple mistakes. It's what we call weaponized incompetence, and if you've ever been on the receiving end of it, you'll know how utterly frustrating it can be. Before you throw in the towel, or dishcloth, and scream, "I'll do it myself!" you need to take a few minutes to keep reading.
Someone shared how their husband refused to cook because he didn't "know a lot of recipes." Instead of taking it upon herself to do all the cooking, his wife not only decided to sign him up for all her favorite recipe newsletters, but she also stopped grocery shopping and cooking altogether. She's asked others to share their "best responses to weaponized incompetence."
Bored Panda has selected the most brilliant responses from the thread, and we DO suggest you try these at home!
#41
I've never moved in with a useless partner.
Generally I go the "I believe in you" route. You're so smart, you can do XYZ, of course you can figure this out, I believe in you.
I'm not interested in being with somebody incapable. I'm not interested in being with somebody malicious. It's one of those two things.
Generally I go the "I believe in you" route. You're so smart, you can do XYZ, of course you can figure this out, I believe in you.
I'm not interested in being with somebody incapable. I'm not interested in being with somebody malicious. It's one of those two things.
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10points
#43
“i refuse to be a queer woman in a hetero relationship where i have to argue with a man about how to be a properly functioning adult human”
like it was actually so embarrassing having to go to my friends and tell them we were currently fighting over how to properly clean dishes. i could not imagine a worse hell.
like it was actually so embarrassing having to go to my friends and tell them we were currently fighting over how to properly clean dishes. i could not imagine a worse hell.
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9points
#44
You are a smart clever bloke, you can use the internet, I believe in your ability to do it.
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9points
#45
My x used to ask my “where are my keys?” My answer was “ where ever you left them”.
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9points
#46
I think I've encountered weaponized slovenliness more than incompetence.
Nearly every relationship I've had has been with a guy whose standards for cleanliness are way below mine. Which is surprising because these men all met or even exceeded my expectations for personal hygiene and grooming, but none of that extended to their living environment.
They would clean without being prompted or complaining, but only once something reached a state they considered unacceptably dirty. This was usually at least a week after I was bothered by it. I never came up with a good solution, because I couldn't convince them cleaning was even necessary at an earlier point, let alone that they should be the ones to do it. They were fine with taking on their share of the chores, but there was a fundamental disagreement about how often these chores were needed.
Nearly every relationship I've had has been with a guy whose standards for cleanliness are way below mine. Which is surprising because these men all met or even exceeded my expectations for personal hygiene and grooming, but none of that extended to their living environment.
They would clean without being prompted or complaining, but only once something reached a state they considered unacceptably dirty. This was usually at least a week after I was bothered by it. I never came up with a good solution, because I couldn't convince them cleaning was even necessary at an earlier point, let alone that they should be the ones to do it. They were fine with taking on their share of the chores, but there was a fundamental disagreement about how often these chores were needed.
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8points
#47
I hate scrubbing toilets and when I moved in with my partner I knew I wasn’t going to want to do it with even more toilets. So I hired someone for it. Problem solved.
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8points
#48
A lot of men you just can't fix, they have to fix themselves after realizing that they need to be fixed. Your partner definitely fits into that category.
That said social roles go both ways and you will often see women pushing men out of doing chore because of their own ideas of what should be going on in the house which is obviously much easier to fix.
As someone who loves to cook but has limited control over groceries after moving back in with family, cooking is boring when you don't have control of the ingredients. You were definitely on the right track trying to force him to get involved from the groceries step.
Delegating subtasks after you have already taken ownership of the task never works, they have to be engaged from step 1.
That said social roles go both ways and you will often see women pushing men out of doing chore because of their own ideas of what should be going on in the house which is obviously much easier to fix.
As someone who loves to cook but has limited control over groceries after moving back in with family, cooking is boring when you don't have control of the ingredients. You were definitely on the right track trying to force him to get involved from the groceries step.
Delegating subtasks after you have already taken ownership of the task never works, they have to be engaged from step 1.
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7points
#49
I dropped the rope and matched his energy. We have house cleaning weekly so the bathrooms are sanitary.
The other day he had a meltdown about how hard it is to be responsible for all the house chores. I darn near laughed in his face, but instead said “oh honey just make me a list and I’ll get to it”.
He hasn’t made me a list and I did everything on the list.
The other day he had a meltdown about how hard it is to be responsible for all the house chores. I darn near laughed in his face, but instead said “oh honey just make me a list and I’ll get to it”.
He hasn’t made me a list and I did everything on the list.
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5points
