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“Thanks, I love it!”, or TILI, is full of the sweetest posts, from animals doing cute things to silly photos that just make viewers smile. It’s a wholesome corner of the internet that has something for everyone, and the only rule is that the title of each post must begin with “Thanks, I love”. The group combines two things that are often too scarce on the internet nowadays, uplifting content and good manners. In fact, politeness can be a challenge to find in the real world as well. But with the constant appreciation for cute photos, sweet stories and funny artwork on TILI, members can get their daily dose of good vibes every time they visit.
I’ve always been taught that a “thank you” can go a long way, from reaching out after a job interview to waving to the car behind you who let you squeeze into rush hour traffic. You just never know who has had a long, hard day, and it costs absolutely nothing to be kind to them. These two small words, or in the case of TILI one small word, can remind someone that you see them and you appreciate them. Perhaps you’re the first person who has made them feel like that all day.
We reached out to Marie Muratalla, creator of the blog Thanks Morris, to hear why she thinks saying thank you is important. "Saying thank you for what you have, what you experience, who you are connected with, etc. allows you to bring yourself to the present moment. It allows you to live in an abundance mindset rather than a scarcity or fear based mindset," Marie says. "Gratitude has proven benefits of reducing stress/anxiety through its power to bring you to the present moment and allow you to reflect on the good. Making this a habit turned practice in your life allows you to “live gratefully” and find more happiness in your everyday life/routines."
We also wanted to know what benefits Marie has seen personally from intentionally expressing gratitude. "I have seen amazing benefits in my own life over the past 4 years of consistently practicing gratitude through the method of journaling and active reflection," she told us. "The biggest transformation I have seen is that I am less fearful of change. Because gratitude is now so ingrained in my thinking and decision making, I am more likely to see change or things that are out of my control as opportunities to grow rather than obstacles to my plans."
Next, we asked Marie if she had any tips for people who want to practice more gratitude but just don't know where to start. "If you are looking to incorporate gratitude practices into your routines, my best tips are to make sure its consistent and DOABLE. Start building the 'habit of gratitude' through daily journaling or expression. Make it a part of your morning or evening routine. Start by setting out to list just 5 things everyday that you are grateful for. Or by spending 2-5 minutes a day journaling about what you are grateful for. Before you know it, you’ll be writing more and/or finding yourself reflecting on what you’re grateful for in other moments of your day."
Lasty, Marie explained that, "It’s a common misconception that you can only be grateful if you are happy. It’s actually the other way around. Grateful living leads to happiness. If you’d like more resources on gratitude and abundance mindset check out my free prompts at Thanks Morris. The Say Thanks More gratitude journal is also available in my online shop. These are great journals to use when starting out your daily gratitude practice as they are filled with a variety of daily prompts to help you stay inspired and consistent. I also have a free questionnaire that contains a list of articles/cited research on these topics."
Everybody appreciates a wholesome post, and everybody appreciates, well, being appreciated! I remember writing countless thank you notes after every birthday and holiday season as a kid, feeling annoyed that my mother demanded I sit down and pour my feelings into a card when I just wanted to be outside jumping on the trampoline. But she was right to instill the habit of expressing gratitude into me. I throw out thank yous left and right now, and it’s a quality I’m proud of. Each one is genuine and honest, but there is no need to be stingy with them. When someone goes out of their way to make you feel seen or does something nice for you, even if it’s just opening a door, it’s nice to say thank you. And I don’t mean to scare you, but gratitude tends to be contagious, so you might pass it along to whoever you thank next.
I’m sure you don’t need a selfish reason to start expressing gratitude, but if you do, your secret’s safe with me. According to Harvard Medical School, being thankful might actually make you happier and healthier. One study conducted by Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of The University of Miami asked one group of participants to write a few sentences each week about things they were grateful for, another group to write about things that irritated them, and a third group to write about general events that affected them. After 10 weeks, the participants who had been asked to write about things they were thankful for were found to be more physically active and reported less visits to doctors offices than participants who wrote about things that annoyed them. Taking time to express gratitude might be the newest method to try in getting healthier!
Another study conducted by Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, included testing the impacts of various “positive psychology interventions” on a group of 411 people. One week, the participants were directed to write and hand deliver a thank you note to someone who they had never properly expressed gratitude to for their kindness in the past. The results of this exercise were huge increases in the participants’ happiness scores, more so than any other activity, and the benefits even lasted for a month after the exercise was performed. So if you’re looking for an easy way to boost your happiness, think about someone that you might owe a thank you to. Whether it’s a parent who made great sacrifices for you or a friend who was there for you during a difficult time, I’m sure they would love to hear how much they mean to you through a sincere letter.
A “thank you” can even go a long way in the workplace. Researchers at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania ran an experiment on two groups of fundraisers who made phone calls to alumni asking for donations to the university. The first group conducted business as usual, but the second group received a pep talk from the director of annual giving where she thanked them for their work before beginning their fundraising efforts. The group who was thanked before starting their day made 50% more calls than the previous group. Knowing that you are appreciated can be incredibly motivating. When a supervisor takes two minutes to let their employees know how appreciated they are, they might be shocked to see how productive they become.
Harvard Medical School even provides some recommendations of easy ways we can practice gratitude in our daily lives. For traditionalists, a handwritten thank you note is always a great option. When that’s not a possibility, even a heartfelt email or text message will do; receiving a thank you out of nowhere can really mean a lot to someone. Other options are thanking someone mentally, if you don’t have any means of contacting them. Even taking a moment to appreciate them in your head can make a difference because it can impact your behavior in the future. You can remember how they made you feel and strive to do the same for someone else. Keeping a journal is another great way to be intentional about practicing gratitude. Don’t think you have something new to be thankful for every day? Challenge yourself to write those things down, and I promise, you will find them.
Another recommendation from Harvard for practicing gratitude in our day to day lives is by counting our blessings. “Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.” On a similar note, praying and practicing meditation can be other options. Taking a moment each day to sit in peace and quiet with your thoughts and acknowledge what you are thankful for can be a very healthy practice.
