“What’s The Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Heard Someone Say?” (69 Answers)

My ex is Australian. He went back to his country when I was a few months pregnant and had no contact for years.
When he reached out our son was almost two. Son was born and raised in US with no contact from paternal family.
Ex asked if our son had an Aussie accent.

I had someone ask my accent so I told them I was Australian, and they were stunned. Then asked how long I had been living in the country so I told them one year and they almost choked and said "Wow, your English is so good!!!".

I don't know if it's THE stupidest but last Thanksgiving we had a fire in the fire pit. The smoke was hitting my stepson in the face, making him cough, and you could tell it was burning his eyes. Eventually, my wife, his mother asks this 18-year-old man “Why don't you move to a seat out of the smoke?”

He replied “I'm cold and the smoke is the hottest part.

We felt like failures.

Reconnected with an old friend on Christmas Eve. She launched into a chem trail speech. Convinced she sees them in the summer and the next day storms appear. Yes I’ve seen these things on Reddit but it shocked the hell out of me that an old friend would be the first person I would hear it from in person. Haven’t talked since. Texted a few times but she wants me to call. No thanks.

Once heard a customer complain that we only had green wine and no white. That is just the colour of the glass Madame.

I did internet tech support ages ago. I was helping a guy with his connection problems over the phone. I told him to right click on his modem icon and go to properties.

He said "My right or your right?"

Over the phone.

“Without the dinosaurs, Jurassic Park doesn’t have much of a plot.”

Aren’t bears mythical creatures.

The salvation army is part of the military.

There are 61 seconds in a minute. I know everyone says 60, but it’s actually 61.

A friend once asked about “way back a long time ago when cavemen rode dinosaurs”.

“I get my news from Reddit so I know it’s legit.”

"Those aren't statistics, it's just math".

Do you sell double sided paper?

A guy back in highschool came from a jewish family.
His brother was pretty smart, had good grades. Him? Not so much, he was always failing everything.
One day he said "I don't need to study. Im like my brother. We jews are good at science, it's in our blood"
Yeah the guy failed in the most predictable way possible, even his brother warned him and told him he did in fact study 😂.

I may have a great one ….. I used to work with this guy we will call him Joe, well Joe came up to me and started a conversation about Rihanna, and he was like she is hot, the hottest barbarian he ever saw? I asked “barbarian?” He replied yea she is from Barbaria! I said do you mean Barbados He oh that’s how you say it for a female!

I just walked away.

I dated a girl who insisted the moon was more important than the sun because the sun only lights the daytime when it's already light out, but the moon lights up the night when you really need it.

Worked with a guy that claimed that there is a star in the center of the Earth. I really wish that I had asked him to elaborate on this.

“I always remember my uncle’s birthday because he is exactly twice as old as me.” I swear they were serious.

A couple years ago, in my old dorm building, we had a “Show Your Interest Presentation” and we could do whatever topic we wanted. One girl went up and did her fictional crushes, which I respect, and this isn’t the girl who said the stupid stuff, no, she’s cool. At one point, she admitted to crushing on Mr. Fox from fantastic Mr Fox fame purely bc of George Clooney’s voice acting. The stupid stuff comes in when this one girl asks “Who’s George Clooney? Is he a president?”

It gets worse.

If I were to tell you George Clooney was Batman, you’d think “Oh, he played the character, got it.” As one does. This girl just says, when she’s told George Clooney was Batman, “I thought that was Bruce Wayne.”