“What’s The Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Heard Someone Say?” (69 Answers)

I might be the stupid person in this story so here it goes:
I went to an aquarium several years ago. And they were getting to do a starfish feeding. The girl doing the presentation said "how do you think starfish taste?" The room went silent and I blurted out "horrible!" She apparently meant "how do you think starfish taste their food?".

In my 20s/30s I regularly got asked why I didn’t have kids. I had a stock set of answers, but my usual was, “I don’t think my genes are worth passing to the next generation.”

A co-worker responded, “what do you mean? You’re white.”

Me: 😲

I knew a gay guy who’s best friend was a lesbian. His mum said to him “you’re both gay, why not date each other?”

"I voted for Trump... twice".

“We haven’t had a dust bowl in years” farmer said as he was ripping out windbreak trees so he could plant more beans on that few acres of land. Like why do you think the wind doesn’t come screeching through here anymore.

“I hope a watermelon falls out of a tree and hits you in the head.”

-Ralphie Fernini (my mum’s high school boyfriend).

I once heard someone at the next table at a restaurant say “you know who is smart? Sarah Palin. She’s so well spoken” I laughed out loud but the jokes on me. It’s all been downhill since then.

I had a classmate who argued, almost to the point of tears, that 55 mph in his Camaro was faster than 55 mph in a Corolla.

A stoner classmate in high school once asked my teacher: “do you think horses know when it’s raining outside?”

It’s been 15 years and I still think about that question weekly.

Can I rat myself out? I am college-educated with an emphasis in biology. While very heavily pregnant, I asked a zookeeper what penguins were. As in mammals, birds, fish, etc. My brain was so fried from pregnancy that it could not comprehend what category they fell into. My friend looked at me like I had grown three heads or was having a stroke. Rightfully so.

I still die inside when I think of that moment.

"Raising a child isn't that hard," said my rich coworker who has a live-in nanny and housekeepers.

I had a young coworker who had a drink bottle with a llama on it. I complimented it saying how cute and fluffly llamas are. She laughed at me and said llamas don’t exist, what are you talking about?

She thought llamas were like unicorns.

"You can't just judge someone based on what they believe."

Here are a few I've heard in the last couple weeks from my Australian cousin who loves to tell me how stupid Americans are...

"I would go back to 3000 BC to see if Jesus was really knocking about"
"My cervix hurts" (he's a male)
"Hawaii is a country, not a state, because it has it's own flag"
"Who cares what someone from Nepal thinks" (when talking about Napoleon)


There's more but it hurts my brain to think of them all.

My childhood friend when she got her learners permit said this while driving in the rain: “urgh! Why does it always rain harder when I drive faster?!”.

There was a clip on Reddit the other day where the guy says that drinking water is a scam. Because water is a solvent and dissolves everything.

Which makes it weird that so many people have pools and hot tubs.

I worked with a woman who was a complete hypochondriac. She would come in 1 day with a brace on her right knee, a few days later on the left..same with wrist wraps and other tape.

One day she came in dragging her leg. She told me she had dislocated her shin, and was going to the doctors after work to get a shin splint...

I still can't stop laughing when I think about it..

1) essential oils stopped them from getting Covid.

2) NASA was responsible for the helium shortage because they use it to keep the stars in the sky.

My coworker thought that when a liquor bottle said ‘spirit’ on the label, that it had an actual spirit in it. Like a ghost.

The dow is over 50.000.