Remember the movie Police Academy? If yes, you can just skip right to our selection of police jokes because you already know what to expect from them! If not, keep on reading, and we’ll tell you all about it.
First off, these cop jokes aren’t a sort of mockery - this has been done many times before, and we’re not willing to continue with the tradition. Instead, these police officer jokes are mainly based on situational comedy because, let’s admit it - being a law enforcement professional gets you into predicaments unmatched by any other occupation. And this will be the basis of our funny jokes about police. Well, okay, maybe a couple of police dad jokes about doughnuts, but that’s it, you have our promise. Next to these sorts of funny cop jokes, there are also jokes for police officers - something they might find relatable or painfully true.
So, our selection of police officer jokes begins with just a scroll down below - you should definitely check them out. Once you’re done reading, be sure to give the best jokes your vote! And after that, you might want to share these cop jokes with your friends, too.
#141
An old couple gets pulled over and...
Lady police officer - "May I see you license and registration sir?"
Old man - "Ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."
The old man hands it to the lady police officer and...
Lady police officer - "Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."
Old man - "Ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife - "Nothing dear, she thinks she used to know you."
unknown
Report5points
#142
Police officer pulls over bad driver.
Police officer: "Sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?"
Lady: "Sorry officer, I'm drunk."
Police officer: "That's not a valid reason to let your boyfriend drive the car."
unknown
Report5points
#143
Three burglars break into a building and are confronted by a soldier, a police officer and a politician. The politician tells the soldier to kill Burglar #1, and the two stab each other to death. The politician then tells the police officer to arrest Burglar #2, and the two beat each other unconscious. The politician then walks up to Burglar #3 and says "I just saved your life, your freedom and tripled your share of the loot. I think 20% is a fair cut."
unknown
Report5points
#144
A man rolls through a STOP sign and a police officer pulls him over.
"I pulled you over because you failed to stop at that stop sign. You only slowed down."
"Slow down... stop... what's the difference?"
The police officer pulls the man out of his car and begins beating him with his nightstick.
"Now you tell me whether you want me to stop or slow down."
unknown
Report5points
#145
Man: "Why are you crying as you are writing me a ticket?"
Police officer: "It's a moving violation."
unknown
Report5points
#146
An Australian takes a vacation in america. He's driving along in his rented car and a police officer notices him driving on the wrong side of the road. He pulls him over and says "Do you realize you're driving on the wrong side of the road!?" The Australian says "Oh I'm from Australia." The officer says "Well did you come here to die!?" "No," replies the Australian. "I came here yesterduai!"
unknown
Report5points
#147
"I saw a woman once who was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She starts waving it around and a police officer saw it and shot her dead. She was waving an illegal fire arm."
unknown
Report5points
#148
Why did the police officer smell so bad?
He was on duty.
unknown
Report5points
#149
What did the policeman say to his dinner?
"Irish stew in the name of the law!"
unknown
Report5points


