Growing up with a parent is supposed to feel safe, right? Sadly, for some kids, that’s just a pipe dream. Instead of getting unconditional love and support, they end up dealing with an adult who only ever cares about themselves.
That’s basically what having a narcissistic parent is all about, and the popular subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists shows just how widespread this issue really is.
From a family that disowned their child for coming out as gay, to a father who refused to take his sick son to the hospital, this supportive online community features some truly horrific tales.
We’ve collected the most shocking ones that prove not everyone is fit to be a parent.
#1 I Caught Myself And Stopped A Learned Narcissistic Trait, And Am So Proud Of Myself
Last fall my 18 month old little girl fell and fractured her skull (she's a climber). I took her to the emergency room for a spongy spot on her head where she hit it, and ended up staying at the hospital with her literally all day while she got scans and tests.
It was not how I had planned or wanted to spend my Saturday, and I found myself saying out loud to her, " I sure hope you are grateful to me for spending all day in this hospital with you. You owe me big!"
I mainly said it jokingly, but I stopped in horror after I said it. I realized I sounded exactly like my Nmom, who all of my life lorded her care of my multiple medical conditions over my head, as if she was somehow entitled to compensation or a pat on the back or a trophy for providing the minimum requirements for a child with extra medical needs. I was ashamed.
Even though my daughter was a baby, even though she didn't understand what I had said, I backtracked immediately and said out loud to her,
"No!! I am happy to be here with you in the hospital. I am HAPPY to give you whatever you need and make sure you are healthy and safe. I love being your mom, and you don't owe me anything for doing my job."
It felt good to know I am permanently breaking that cycle, and that the emotional blackmail and guilt trip buck stops with me.
It was not how I had planned or wanted to spend my Saturday, and I found myself saying out loud to her, " I sure hope you are grateful to me for spending all day in this hospital with you. You owe me big!"
I mainly said it jokingly, but I stopped in horror after I said it. I realized I sounded exactly like my Nmom, who all of my life lorded her care of my multiple medical conditions over my head, as if she was somehow entitled to compensation or a pat on the back or a trophy for providing the minimum requirements for a child with extra medical needs. I was ashamed.
Even though my daughter was a baby, even though she didn't understand what I had said, I backtracked immediately and said out loud to her,
"No!! I am happy to be here with you in the hospital. I am HAPPY to give you whatever you need and make sure you are healthy and safe. I love being your mom, and you don't owe me anything for doing my job."
It felt good to know I am permanently breaking that cycle, and that the emotional blackmail and guilt trip buck stops with me.
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144points
#2 I Finally Saw My Childhood Through My Daughter’s Eyes
I spent years gaslighting myself into believing my narcissistic parents would treat my daughter differently than they treated me.
I told myself they loved her too much. That being grandparents is different. I wanted her to have the kind of grandparent relationship I had with my grandmother, the only person who ever made me feel truly loved.
Today, that illusion shattered because my daughter told me something.
My six-year-old was proudly feeding the chicks on my parents’ farm. She accidentally stepped on some egg yolk that was on the ground.
My father screamed at her out of nowhere, asking if she was “out of her mind“ and something like „she‘s not normal“.
Then she hid under the kitchen table because she was scared of him before running to my mother.
When she told me the story, I heard the confusion and fear in her voice.
Something broke inside me.
It hit me all over again that it is not normal for a grown man to lose control like that over a six-year-old.
I endured decades of his random outbursts and convinced myself my daughter would somehow be spared. She was crying and said it was all her fault. I have never felt a rage like that before.
I blocked him immediately and threatened him by texting my mom that I’ll call the cops on him or anybody trying to hurt my child because idgaf anymore.
The strangest part was realizing my daughter didn’t understand his behavior. She looked genuinely confused because she has never been treated that way before.
For the first time, I felt proud instead of guilty.
She will never be alone with my parents again.
The cycle ends with me.
I told myself they loved her too much. That being grandparents is different. I wanted her to have the kind of grandparent relationship I had with my grandmother, the only person who ever made me feel truly loved.
Today, that illusion shattered because my daughter told me something.
My six-year-old was proudly feeding the chicks on my parents’ farm. She accidentally stepped on some egg yolk that was on the ground.
My father screamed at her out of nowhere, asking if she was “out of her mind“ and something like „she‘s not normal“.
Then she hid under the kitchen table because she was scared of him before running to my mother.
When she told me the story, I heard the confusion and fear in her voice.
Something broke inside me.
It hit me all over again that it is not normal for a grown man to lose control like that over a six-year-old.
I endured decades of his random outbursts and convinced myself my daughter would somehow be spared. She was crying and said it was all her fault. I have never felt a rage like that before.
I blocked him immediately and threatened him by texting my mom that I’ll call the cops on him or anybody trying to hurt my child because idgaf anymore.
The strangest part was realizing my daughter didn’t understand his behavior. She looked genuinely confused because she has never been treated that way before.
For the first time, I felt proud instead of guilty.
She will never be alone with my parents again.
The cycle ends with me.
106points
#3 Wasn’t Expecting That Response, Nmom?
My Nmom dropped by this morning and got more than she bargained for!
My 9 year old daughter told me out loud that she loved me, and though I encourage it, saying so is a no-no when Nmom is around. To her, it must imply she loves me MORE than her, and if my daughter doesn’t follow it up with a quick “I love you too, Grandharpy,” there’s Hell to pay.
My daughter didn’t follow it up.
So Nmom takes matters into her own hands and goes into this monologue about how “I love you the most! And I am going to [pass away] someday! ....but when I’m [gone], I’m going to follow you wherever you go with my arms around you the whole time!”
After a pause, my daughter, totally deadpan replied, “You’re creepy.”
That kid rocks my world!
My 9 year old daughter told me out loud that she loved me, and though I encourage it, saying so is a no-no when Nmom is around. To her, it must imply she loves me MORE than her, and if my daughter doesn’t follow it up with a quick “I love you too, Grandharpy,” there’s Hell to pay.
My daughter didn’t follow it up.
So Nmom takes matters into her own hands and goes into this monologue about how “I love you the most! And I am going to [pass away] someday! ....but when I’m [gone], I’m going to follow you wherever you go with my arms around you the whole time!”
After a pause, my daughter, totally deadpan replied, “You’re creepy.”
That kid rocks my world!
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89points
Being a good parent means putting someone else’s needs before your own. It takes real empathy, patience, and a willingness to step back so your child can grow. These basic qualities are almost completely missing in a narcissistic parent.
Experts believe that a narcissistic parent views their child as an extension of themselves — a tool to boost their own ego rather than an independent human being.
“Typically, the narcissistic parent perceives the independence of a child (including adult children) as a threat, and coerces the offspring to exist in the parent’s shadow, with unreasonable expectations. In a narcissistic parenting relationship, the child is rarely loved just for being herself or himself,” says Preston Ni, professor and author of ‘How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People.’
#4 My Mom Who Disowned My For Being Gay Is Ready To Forgive Me, Oh And For Me To Financially Support Her And My Dad After He Retires Of Course
I don’t speak to any of my family anymore because they disowned me for being gay after i was outed. It hurt at the time but honestly the more time i spent away from them the more i realized how awful they truly were and how im better off. It still hurts and i still miss them sometimes but it is truly for the best, im a peace.
My cousin is the only person from my family im in (secret) contact with, so sometimes she’ll give me updates.
They have been telling people i ran away at 19 with an old pervert to live a life of sin and that im a pervert and some really other bizarre and gross nonsense. I’m not any of those things, and i didn’t run away they kicked me out and made me homeless lol, and my dad beat me and told me he’d [unalive] me if he ever saw me again, said he’d get away with it too and would bury my body in the backyard, but that would make them look bad so they won’t say that. Apparently I’m still a hot topic almost a decade later and I’m basically to blame for everything, again we’ve had zero contact since then.
I found out my brother (who actually had a substance dependency) OD and passed a while ago, they didn’t reach out to even tell me. Again heard it from my cousin. There were six kids in my family and here’s how they turned out. One brothers [gone]. Another brothers wife made him cut off the family or shed divorce him, one’s in prison who SA to a minor and one of my sister has an onlyfans and is currently pregnant with our older sisters husband. Older sister was arrested for trying to run him over ( lol honestly I’m not mad at it) It’s a mess and the family is in shambles.
My mom has apparently been telling her sister (my cousins mom) that she is ready to forgive me and wants my social media savvy cousins to track me down. She said she is convinced that i can change and get better under her guidance as a mother. And all that “he can repent and god will forgive him” [nonsense]. When my aunt asked if she thought I’d be receptive my mom was confused, she thought I’d be grateful that she had finally decided that she was open to forgiveness, as long as i put in the work of course. Oh and my dad wants to retire soon and they are expecting me to financially support them because that’s a son’s job. Of course.
Again my great crime that hurt my mother so deeply, that i must work to gain her forgiveness for. Is being gay. They called me a pervert and implied i was dangerous to children, but then my brother who is, is a victim who was seduced by a little jezabel.
So im evil and disgusting because i like men but my father threatening to [end] me makes him a respectable and godly man.
Girl bye
My cousin is the only person from my family im in (secret) contact with, so sometimes she’ll give me updates.
They have been telling people i ran away at 19 with an old pervert to live a life of sin and that im a pervert and some really other bizarre and gross nonsense. I’m not any of those things, and i didn’t run away they kicked me out and made me homeless lol, and my dad beat me and told me he’d [unalive] me if he ever saw me again, said he’d get away with it too and would bury my body in the backyard, but that would make them look bad so they won’t say that. Apparently I’m still a hot topic almost a decade later and I’m basically to blame for everything, again we’ve had zero contact since then.
I found out my brother (who actually had a substance dependency) OD and passed a while ago, they didn’t reach out to even tell me. Again heard it from my cousin. There were six kids in my family and here’s how they turned out. One brothers [gone]. Another brothers wife made him cut off the family or shed divorce him, one’s in prison who SA to a minor and one of my sister has an onlyfans and is currently pregnant with our older sisters husband. Older sister was arrested for trying to run him over ( lol honestly I’m not mad at it) It’s a mess and the family is in shambles.
My mom has apparently been telling her sister (my cousins mom) that she is ready to forgive me and wants my social media savvy cousins to track me down. She said she is convinced that i can change and get better under her guidance as a mother. And all that “he can repent and god will forgive him” [nonsense]. When my aunt asked if she thought I’d be receptive my mom was confused, she thought I’d be grateful that she had finally decided that she was open to forgiveness, as long as i put in the work of course. Oh and my dad wants to retire soon and they are expecting me to financially support them because that’s a son’s job. Of course.
Again my great crime that hurt my mother so deeply, that i must work to gain her forgiveness for. Is being gay. They called me a pervert and implied i was dangerous to children, but then my brother who is, is a victim who was seduced by a little jezabel.
So im evil and disgusting because i like men but my father threatening to [end] me makes him a respectable and godly man.
Girl bye
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84points
#5 I Got A Warning At The Nursing Home I Work At For Reminding A Colleague That Some Parents Don't Deserve A Relationship With Their Adult Children
I constantly hear judgement from my colleagues about the adult children who don't visit their parents. I've bitten my tongue so far, but recently I had to step in when a colleague actually confronted a resident's adult child about it.
We have a resident who has 5 kids, 2 of whom have never visited. The other 3 have only visited once each, to deal with some legal documents and manage family affairs, and were all strictly business while they were there. Recently one of her children made an appointment to visit in order to drop off some photos she had asked her for, and when she arrived she decided to ask us to deliver the photos rather than visit face to face, citing covid concerns even though we do allow visits. My colleague decided to guilt trip her about her poor lonely mother who has been looking forward to the visit all week. I had to intervene and apologize to the poor woman, and I told my colleague that if all 5 of someone's kids are apprehensive about seeing them, it says more about them than it does about their kids. I got a warning, but I think it was worth it.
Update: the woman emailed to complain about my colleague and thank me for stepping in, so I received an apology and my colleague has been warned not to make judgemental comments in front of residents or family.
We have a resident who has 5 kids, 2 of whom have never visited. The other 3 have only visited once each, to deal with some legal documents and manage family affairs, and were all strictly business while they were there. Recently one of her children made an appointment to visit in order to drop off some photos she had asked her for, and when she arrived she decided to ask us to deliver the photos rather than visit face to face, citing covid concerns even though we do allow visits. My colleague decided to guilt trip her about her poor lonely mother who has been looking forward to the visit all week. I had to intervene and apologize to the poor woman, and I told my colleague that if all 5 of someone's kids are apprehensive about seeing them, it says more about them than it does about their kids. I got a warning, but I think it was worth it.
Update: the woman emailed to complain about my colleague and thank me for stepping in, so I received an apology and my colleague has been warned not to make judgemental comments in front of residents or family.
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81points
#6 My Parents Made Me Eat My Pet Rabbit, And It Still Haunts Me
When I was about 7 years old, we lived out in the country and I had a pet rabbit named Daisy, and kept it in an outdoor cage, and fed and watered it twice a day, and took very good care of it and played with it often. One day, my abusive parents decided that having it was too much work, even though I was the one who cared for it, and without telling me, and cooked it for dinner.
They didn't tell me what we were eating until after dinner, then asked me how it tasted, then told me it was Daisy, and they laughed. I was horrified, felt like I had eaten my baby, and cried hysterically. They then got angry at me for crying.
I'll never forget that nor forgive myself, even though I know it wasn't my fault, I still feel horrible about it.
It's one of the many reasons I am no contact with my parents these days. How sick does someone need to be to do that to their child?
They didn't tell me what we were eating until after dinner, then asked me how it tasted, then told me it was Daisy, and they laughed. I was horrified, felt like I had eaten my baby, and cried hysterically. They then got angry at me for crying.
I'll never forget that nor forgive myself, even though I know it wasn't my fault, I still feel horrible about it.
It's one of the many reasons I am no contact with my parents these days. How sick does someone need to be to do that to their child?
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73points
One of the clearest tells is when a parent lives through their child. They push the child to achieve specific goals, not for the kid’s happiness, but so the parent can show them off like a trophy.
Studies also show that if the child succeeds in a way that steals the spotlight, the narcissistic parent might feel threatened and suddenly start putting them down to stay superior.
They basically see their own child’s success as a direct threat.
#7 My Nmom Applied To Be A Foster Parent And I Was Able To Stop It From Happening
A few months ago my Nmom, that I’ve been no contact with for the last 8 years, applied to be a foster parent. She has been trying to get pregnant again for years. She wanted a do over but thankfully that failed every time.
The only reason I found out is because the company they were going through had to reach out to the adult child of families applying to fill out a questionnaire.
I can’t even explain the extreme levels of fear that instantly shot through me at the thought of her having another child in her home.
I wrote out an email sharing the key points of my mistreatment/neglect and filled out the questionnaire and sent everything over and was left to wait.
Two weeks later my sister got impatient so she called them and they confirmed that their application had been denied and that there were red flags even before they heard from us.
I had very little faith in the foster care system but they actually listened and thanks to that those kids are at least safe from her.
The only reason I found out is because the company they were going through had to reach out to the adult child of families applying to fill out a questionnaire.
I can’t even explain the extreme levels of fear that instantly shot through me at the thought of her having another child in her home.
I wrote out an email sharing the key points of my mistreatment/neglect and filled out the questionnaire and sent everything over and was left to wait.
Two weeks later my sister got impatient so she called them and they confirmed that their application had been denied and that there were red flags even before they heard from us.
I had very little faith in the foster care system but they actually listened and thanks to that those kids are at least safe from her.
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65points
#8 My Now-Husband Called Out My Parents During Our First Christmas Together. It Changed My Life
I am an only child. When I was around seven, my mom apparently decided that she didn’t like me much. By the time I was eight or nine, she had invented an imaginary sibling to compare me to. Their name was Justice, as it was a gender-neutral name she said she had saved if she ever did have another child.
Any time I did anything even slightly wrong, I was compared to Justice. If I didn’t eat my peas? “Justice would have eaten their peas!” If I talked back? “Justice wouldn’t speak to their mother that way.” If I begged for something at the store? “Justice wouldn’t be acting this way.” It was constant.
I finally got fed up, and would shout at her: “There is no Justice!” Of course, she and my dad thought this was hilarious, and they stuck it in their “cute childhood anecdote” files to bring up forevermore.
Christmas 2024 was my first Christmas with my now-husband. He had met my dad, but not my mom. Within minutes of us arriving they started telling “cute childhood anecdotes” and brought up Justice. My husband stared at them in utter shock and said quietly said, “You know that’s not normal, right?” The tension and shock was palpable - they literally malfunctioned.
That was the first time anyone in my 30+ years of life had stood up to them like that, or even acknowledged their bad behavior in a negative way. My husband’s love and healthy family opened my eyes to so much that I had never considered abusive or toxic before, and he helped me escape that system. Sometimes I think back on what I used to tolerate and almost have to laugh, because it’s just so absurd.
EDIT: A lot of y’all are asking what happened when he told them that. I wish something exciting or interesting, but they just kind of blew it off and laughed. They never brought it up again.
About 6 months later, the day after my husband’s dad [passed away] from terminal cancer, my dad was so cruel to me over something entirely unnecessary that I went full no-contact. They’re still harassing me to this day. I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant and have had to contact law enforcement regarding their stalking. 😅
Any time I did anything even slightly wrong, I was compared to Justice. If I didn’t eat my peas? “Justice would have eaten their peas!” If I talked back? “Justice wouldn’t speak to their mother that way.” If I begged for something at the store? “Justice wouldn’t be acting this way.” It was constant.
I finally got fed up, and would shout at her: “There is no Justice!” Of course, she and my dad thought this was hilarious, and they stuck it in their “cute childhood anecdote” files to bring up forevermore.
Christmas 2024 was my first Christmas with my now-husband. He had met my dad, but not my mom. Within minutes of us arriving they started telling “cute childhood anecdotes” and brought up Justice. My husband stared at them in utter shock and said quietly said, “You know that’s not normal, right?” The tension and shock was palpable - they literally malfunctioned.
That was the first time anyone in my 30+ years of life had stood up to them like that, or even acknowledged their bad behavior in a negative way. My husband’s love and healthy family opened my eyes to so much that I had never considered abusive or toxic before, and he helped me escape that system. Sometimes I think back on what I used to tolerate and almost have to laugh, because it’s just so absurd.
EDIT: A lot of y’all are asking what happened when he told them that. I wish something exciting or interesting, but they just kind of blew it off and laughed. They never brought it up again.
About 6 months later, the day after my husband’s dad [passed away] from terminal cancer, my dad was so cruel to me over something entirely unnecessary that I went full no-contact. They’re still harassing me to this day. I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant and have had to contact law enforcement regarding their stalking. 😅
62points
#9 My Mom Is Threatening To Sue Me For "Emotional Distress" After I Stopped Giving Her Money
I dont even know if this is legal but my mom (58F) is threatening to take me (31M) to court.
For the past 5 years I've been giving her $500 a month to help with her bills. She told me she was struggling financially and I wanted to help. I found out 3 months ago from my uncle that she's not struggling at all - she owns her house outright, has a pension, and just wanted extra spending money.
When I confronted her she admitted it but said I "owed her" for raising me and that it was the "least I could do after everything shes done for me."
I told her I'm not sending money anymore. She lost it. Called me ungrateful, said I'm abandoning her, the usual guilt trip.
Last week I got a letter from a lawyer saying shes suing me for "emotional distress and financial damages" because I "promised to support her" and me stopping the payments has caused her "severe mental anguish."
I never promised anything. I was just trying to help what I thought was a struggling parent.
I showed the letter to my own lawyer and he said its a frivolous lawsuit that won't go anywhere but I still have to respond to it. This is costing me money to defend myself against my own mother.
She texted me yesterday saying if I just resume the payments she'll drop the lawsuit. Its pure manipulation.
For the past 5 years I've been giving her $500 a month to help with her bills. She told me she was struggling financially and I wanted to help. I found out 3 months ago from my uncle that she's not struggling at all - she owns her house outright, has a pension, and just wanted extra spending money.
When I confronted her she admitted it but said I "owed her" for raising me and that it was the "least I could do after everything shes done for me."
I told her I'm not sending money anymore. She lost it. Called me ungrateful, said I'm abandoning her, the usual guilt trip.
Last week I got a letter from a lawyer saying shes suing me for "emotional distress and financial damages" because I "promised to support her" and me stopping the payments has caused her "severe mental anguish."
I never promised anything. I was just trying to help what I thought was a struggling parent.
I showed the letter to my own lawyer and he said its a frivolous lawsuit that won't go anywhere but I still have to respond to it. This is costing me money to defend myself against my own mother.
She texted me yesterday saying if I just resume the payments she'll drop the lawsuit. Its pure manipulation.
Report
59points
Another major sign is extreme emotional manipulation. Narcissistic parents frequently use the silent treatment or withhold affection as a form of punishment when their demands aren’t met.
A study published in the International Journal of Body, Mind and Culture found that such parents often guilt-trip their children and turn every situation into a story where they are either the hero or the victim.
For example, imagine a child who works hard to win their parent’s approval. A narcissistic parent with high emotional intelligence will notice this deep desire. They will intentionally hold back praise, giving just enough affection once in a while to keep the child hooked and trying harder.
They also know exactly which words will trigger the child’s insecurity, keeping the child eager to please and easy to manage.
#10 My Brother Passed Away And My Parents Are Upset Because It Made Them Look Bad
My brother took his life and we just held the funeral/memorial over the weekend. My parents wanted to get the family together to spend time together. What was supposed to be together time turned into a full on lecture/cursing match with my parents saying that my brother's passing made them look like terrible parents and that they wished they never gave birth to him while simultaneously cursing all of their living children to terrible lives for calling them out on their toxic behavior. My parents "image" as perfect parents have been destroyed by his dpassing. He was 18.
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56points
#11 I Finally Told My Mom What 9 Yo Me Could Never Say
Quick backstory: I got engaged in 2022. My mom was happy for me (or so I thought), but her first response was "what?! Without asking my permission?" Obviously, a "joke". A few weeks later, happiness turned into annoyance we weren't doing an engagement shoot; the climax was when we told her we were not disinviting someone she had quarreled with 2 years prior. That led to 3.5 years of her ignoring us, as well as the birth of our daughter.
This past summer, we move back to the area she lives in; me 7 months pregnant. At 9.5 months pregnant, she hits me up out of nowhere, bending over backwards, saying that she would like to meet up but will work with my schedule, and is happy to make the 3.5 hr drive to speak in person. She even acknowledges that she knows I have a due date coming up and is happy to meet after that. I tell her that if she reaches out on or after a certain date (2 mo postpartum) I will make time. She does, we make a plan; life goes on.
A week before we're set to meet, she hits me with "I'm sick with what feels like covid. Going to need to push back our meeting." Didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact that she's bailing on plans she requested we make.
Four days later, today, she texts me: "Good morning. Would you like to go ahead with Saturday as planned? It will be day 13 of covid quarantine. I can't do next weekend and the following is right before Christmas. Your call."
Y'all, when I say that I sat with this and asked myself "what does 9 year old me want to say?" I really mean it. I spent HOURS going over it, poring over every word, making sure that every single syllable was correct and conveyed exactly what I never was able to say growing up. This is what I said:
"No, I would not. After ignoring me for three and a half years, to include the births of my two children, you reached out to meet up, feigning prioritization of my schedule. Once I accepted, you then canceled on me without apology or any attempt to reschedule, just "This is what I've decided." Now, you pull a bait-and-switch, only offering to reschedule as dictated by your convenience, in stark contrast to your earlier attitude. I called out this behavior three years ago, and it's clear nothing has changed: you are willing to use emotional manipulation to gain control of the relationship. I do not deserve this treatment and will not accept it. Until you've addressed your issues and have a clear track record of emotional health, please do not contact me—we won't have a relationship while you're like this."
It was hard and it was scary. I fought every voice in my head telling me this isn't a big deal and that I'm blowing things out of proportion. I asked my husband to hold me while I sent it. And then I sent it.
I ended things on my terms, honoring the little girl who had nobody in her corner. I see the abuse and I refuse to perpetuate this another generation. My family and I are free.
This past summer, we move back to the area she lives in; me 7 months pregnant. At 9.5 months pregnant, she hits me up out of nowhere, bending over backwards, saying that she would like to meet up but will work with my schedule, and is happy to make the 3.5 hr drive to speak in person. She even acknowledges that she knows I have a due date coming up and is happy to meet after that. I tell her that if she reaches out on or after a certain date (2 mo postpartum) I will make time. She does, we make a plan; life goes on.
A week before we're set to meet, she hits me with "I'm sick with what feels like covid. Going to need to push back our meeting." Didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact that she's bailing on plans she requested we make.
Four days later, today, she texts me: "Good morning. Would you like to go ahead with Saturday as planned? It will be day 13 of covid quarantine. I can't do next weekend and the following is right before Christmas. Your call."
Y'all, when I say that I sat with this and asked myself "what does 9 year old me want to say?" I really mean it. I spent HOURS going over it, poring over every word, making sure that every single syllable was correct and conveyed exactly what I never was able to say growing up. This is what I said:
"No, I would not. After ignoring me for three and a half years, to include the births of my two children, you reached out to meet up, feigning prioritization of my schedule. Once I accepted, you then canceled on me without apology or any attempt to reschedule, just "This is what I've decided." Now, you pull a bait-and-switch, only offering to reschedule as dictated by your convenience, in stark contrast to your earlier attitude. I called out this behavior three years ago, and it's clear nothing has changed: you are willing to use emotional manipulation to gain control of the relationship. I do not deserve this treatment and will not accept it. Until you've addressed your issues and have a clear track record of emotional health, please do not contact me—we won't have a relationship while you're like this."
It was hard and it was scary. I fought every voice in my head telling me this isn't a big deal and that I'm blowing things out of proportion. I asked my husband to hold me while I sent it. And then I sent it.
I ended things on my terms, honoring the little girl who had nobody in her corner. I see the abuse and I refuse to perpetuate this another generation. My family and I are free.
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56points
#12 He Got Himself Treatment For What He Almost Let End Me
In my teens I got diverticulitis that he didn't believe was real. Not even when it turned into sepsis, and I was visibly delirious, I stopped reacting to the severe pain, and very hot to the touch. He said I was faking, then when my younger siblings screamed and cried begging him to take me to the doctor, he said he would do it to shut them up and prove I'm being dramatic about a flu. One had even gone on their knees begging while sobbing because they were sure I was going to [pass away].
I didn't go home that night. I was hospitalized, which I was too sick to really remember. I just have snippets mostly in nightmares that I still have. My dad pulled back on the medical neglect because the doctor was LIVID with him and told him point blank that if my siblings hadn't managed to convince him, I would have [passed away] the next day. My bowels were so bloated with infection they were at real risk of rupturing. They would eventually, without treatment.
I got CFS as a post infection response. A couple years of regularly falling asleep sitting up before it got slowly better. I lost so much. I would lose more soon because of the consequences of his neglect on my genetic condition.
I just got a text from the only sibling that talks to him. He went to the hospital for diverticulitis. But he got to walk away with oral antibiotics because of course when he got it, he got to have care before it was nearly fatal. He gets to be believed. He doesn't have to face years of consequences because he didn't believe it wasn't just drama and weakness when he was the patient.
It is also, nearly 10 years since I had it.
I feel very bitter and angry for teenage me.
I didn't go home that night. I was hospitalized, which I was too sick to really remember. I just have snippets mostly in nightmares that I still have. My dad pulled back on the medical neglect because the doctor was LIVID with him and told him point blank that if my siblings hadn't managed to convince him, I would have [passed away] the next day. My bowels were so bloated with infection they were at real risk of rupturing. They would eventually, without treatment.
I got CFS as a post infection response. A couple years of regularly falling asleep sitting up before it got slowly better. I lost so much. I would lose more soon because of the consequences of his neglect on my genetic condition.
I just got a text from the only sibling that talks to him. He went to the hospital for diverticulitis. But he got to walk away with oral antibiotics because of course when he got it, he got to have care before it was nearly fatal. He gets to be believed. He doesn't have to face years of consequences because he didn't believe it wasn't just drama and weakness when he was the patient.
It is also, nearly 10 years since I had it.
I feel very bitter and angry for teenage me.
Report
56points
Some narcissistic parents are also extremely rigid about how their kids should act. They try to control every tiny detail of their child’s life, and the second things don’t go according to plan, they might lose their temper.
These parents are like walking landmines — extremely touchy and easily set off. A child could trigger an explosive reaction over small things, like not answering a text fast enough, or even by simply walking into the room at the wrong moment.
“Narcissists are often angry and aggressive when they feel disappointed or frustrated. If they believe their child is being critical or defiant, they can lash out. These reactions can manifest as screaming, sudden bouts of rage or, in more severe cases, physical violence,” says Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and professor at California State University, Los Angeles.
At the same time, the emotions of others can make narcissistic people uncomfortable. “They may shame their child into not sharing their emotions at all with phrases like, ‘Get over yourself, it wasn’t that big of a deal,’ or, ‘Stop crying and toughen up.’”
#13 My Dad Is Furious I'm Not Naming My Baby After Him
I'm 28 weeks pregnant with a boy (I'm 31F) and my husband and I are so excited. We've had the name picked out for months - Oliver James. Oliver is my husband's grandfather who passed away last year and was an amazing person who helped raise him. James is just a name we both loved.
Told my parents the name last week at dinner thinking they'd be happy for us. My dad's face immediately changed and he goes "What about David?" (his name). I said "what about it?" and he said he just assumed we'd name the baby after him since he's the grandfather and "that's what you're supposed to do."
I reminded him that my husband also has a father and grandfathers and that we chose a name that's meaningful to us. He got so mad. Started saying how he's done so much for me and this is how I repay him? By "erasing him from the family legacy"???
My mom jumped in trying to smooth things over suggesting we use David as a middle name. I said no, we've already decided on the name and we're not changing it. My dad literally stood up and left the table. Didn't say goodbye just walked out.
Since then he's been sending me articles about "family traditions" and "honoring your parents" and texting me different variations like "Oliver David" or "David Oliver." Yesterday he sent a long email about how hurt he is and how I'm being selfish and not thinking about anyone but myself.
My mom keeps calling asking me to "just consider it to keep the peace" but I don't want to. This is MY baby. My husband is fully supporting me but I feel guilty and stressed which is not good for the pregnancy.
Told my parents the name last week at dinner thinking they'd be happy for us. My dad's face immediately changed and he goes "What about David?" (his name). I said "what about it?" and he said he just assumed we'd name the baby after him since he's the grandfather and "that's what you're supposed to do."
I reminded him that my husband also has a father and grandfathers and that we chose a name that's meaningful to us. He got so mad. Started saying how he's done so much for me and this is how I repay him? By "erasing him from the family legacy"???
My mom jumped in trying to smooth things over suggesting we use David as a middle name. I said no, we've already decided on the name and we're not changing it. My dad literally stood up and left the table. Didn't say goodbye just walked out.
Since then he's been sending me articles about "family traditions" and "honoring your parents" and texting me different variations like "Oliver David" or "David Oliver." Yesterday he sent a long email about how hurt he is and how I'm being selfish and not thinking about anyone but myself.
My mom keeps calling asking me to "just consider it to keep the peace" but I don't want to. This is MY baby. My husband is fully supporting me but I feel guilty and stressed which is not good for the pregnancy.
53points
#14 My Alcoholic Mom Just Ruined My 3-Year-Old's Christmas Eve And I'm Heartbroken
I (27M) am sitting here at 1:30 AM on Christmas morning, and I just need to get this out.
My mom has struggled with alcohol for a long time. She’s staying with me, my girlfriend (S), and our 3-year-old daughter (D) right now because her car isn’t working and we live near her job.
She got off work at 6:00 PM and started drinking immediately. By the time S, D, and I got home at 7:00 PM, she was already tipsy. She kept drinking all night, and by the time D was in bed at 9:00 PM, she was completely sloshed.
I tried to be calm. I asked her to stop drinking. She said she might go out to a bar with a friend; I told her if she did, she couldn't come back "wasted." She didn't leave, but she kept drinking in the house while I was trying to wrap Christmas presents for S who was in the bedroom as to not spoil the presents I got her.
Then the pattern started. A pattern I recognize from my childhood. The grumbling, the moaning, the swearing. I knew an insane drunk tirade was coming.
I pulled S outside to talk to her and inform her of the impending chaos. S and I decided right then: she had to go. I wasn't going to let D wake up to that.
When I told my mom I was driving her home, she lost it. She told us both to "[get lost]" stood up and started stomping around my home saying nasty things about us. She started grabbing and tossing her [stuff] together aggressively.
She tried to charge into D’s bedroom to grab her stuff and storm out, but she was so drunk and aggressive I couldn't let her in there. I had to physically grab her by the shirt and rip her out from my daughter's doorway.
She began babbling incoherent drunk swearing and couldn't organize her stuff. So I pushed her aside grabbed her things and physically escorted her out of my apartment complex.
She told me to just leave her alone and let her take care of herself but she couldn't even walk straight. She doesn't have anywhere else safe to go or anyone to call and I was worried for her safety so I decided to drive her home against her will.
The drive to her house was a nightmare. She had a total psychotic fit screaming, hitting, and trying to throw herself out of the car while I was driving on the highway. I had to physically restrain her to keep her in the vehicle while I was driving. I finally got her home, took my house keys back, and told her to sleep it off.
Now I’m back home and I’m just… sad. I’m sad for her, and I’m sad for D. I looked in the gift my mom bought for D, and it was full of activities for them to do together tomorrow. It breaks my heart because I know there is a "good" version of my mom, but I can’t trust that version to show up anymore.
My partner and I have decided that for tomorrow and the foreseeable future she is not welcome in our home nor to be trusted with our daughter.
I feel like a jerk for kicking her out on Christmas Eve, but I had to protect my kid. I couldn't let my childhood trauma become my daughter’s reality.
TL;DR: My alcoholic mom tried to charge into my toddler’s room during a drunk tirade on Christmas Eve. I had to physically remove her and drive her home while physically restraining her from throwing herself out of the car on the highway. Now I’m spending Christmas morning feeling guilty and heartbroken.
My mom has struggled with alcohol for a long time. She’s staying with me, my girlfriend (S), and our 3-year-old daughter (D) right now because her car isn’t working and we live near her job.
She got off work at 6:00 PM and started drinking immediately. By the time S, D, and I got home at 7:00 PM, she was already tipsy. She kept drinking all night, and by the time D was in bed at 9:00 PM, she was completely sloshed.
I tried to be calm. I asked her to stop drinking. She said she might go out to a bar with a friend; I told her if she did, she couldn't come back "wasted." She didn't leave, but she kept drinking in the house while I was trying to wrap Christmas presents for S who was in the bedroom as to not spoil the presents I got her.
Then the pattern started. A pattern I recognize from my childhood. The grumbling, the moaning, the swearing. I knew an insane drunk tirade was coming.
I pulled S outside to talk to her and inform her of the impending chaos. S and I decided right then: she had to go. I wasn't going to let D wake up to that.
When I told my mom I was driving her home, she lost it. She told us both to "[get lost]" stood up and started stomping around my home saying nasty things about us. She started grabbing and tossing her [stuff] together aggressively.
She tried to charge into D’s bedroom to grab her stuff and storm out, but she was so drunk and aggressive I couldn't let her in there. I had to physically grab her by the shirt and rip her out from my daughter's doorway.
She began babbling incoherent drunk swearing and couldn't organize her stuff. So I pushed her aside grabbed her things and physically escorted her out of my apartment complex.
She told me to just leave her alone and let her take care of herself but she couldn't even walk straight. She doesn't have anywhere else safe to go or anyone to call and I was worried for her safety so I decided to drive her home against her will.
The drive to her house was a nightmare. She had a total psychotic fit screaming, hitting, and trying to throw herself out of the car while I was driving on the highway. I had to physically restrain her to keep her in the vehicle while I was driving. I finally got her home, took my house keys back, and told her to sleep it off.
Now I’m back home and I’m just… sad. I’m sad for her, and I’m sad for D. I looked in the gift my mom bought for D, and it was full of activities for them to do together tomorrow. It breaks my heart because I know there is a "good" version of my mom, but I can’t trust that version to show up anymore.
My partner and I have decided that for tomorrow and the foreseeable future she is not welcome in our home nor to be trusted with our daughter.
I feel like a jerk for kicking her out on Christmas Eve, but I had to protect my kid. I couldn't let my childhood trauma become my daughter’s reality.
TL;DR: My alcoholic mom tried to charge into my toddler’s room during a drunk tirade on Christmas Eve. I had to physically remove her and drive her home while physically restraining her from throwing herself out of the car on the highway. Now I’m spending Christmas morning feeling guilty and heartbroken.
Report
50points
#15 I Sent The Decline Message!!!
Okay okay so this may not seem like a big thing but it kinda is for me.
Every year I DREAD having to go to my parents house for holidays. It’s always stressful, my dad acts like an ass, yells at my kids for being ever so slightly noisy (because they’re kids and they’re playing with their cousins). He also has to micromanage EVERYTHING right down to telling who can start first with putting their plate together at the “buffet” line and who sits where at the table.
And let’s not forget the inevitable racist comments, political comments, etc. All while he knows my stance on things, he brings [things] up all the time to get a reaction out of me.My husband hates going over there and so do my kids. None of us ever have a good time.
Sooooo when my mom sent the “Christmas invitation” Facebook messenger message… I FINALLY worked up the courage to say “we have other plans for Christmas but thank you for the invitation.”
I’m all nervous now. I just KNOW a phone call is coming eventually because my dad is gonna be all “why aren’t you guys coming to Christmas?” but I’m glad I at least got the “decline” out of the way. It was really hard to do, guys. But I did it. Whew.
Every year I DREAD having to go to my parents house for holidays. It’s always stressful, my dad acts like an ass, yells at my kids for being ever so slightly noisy (because they’re kids and they’re playing with their cousins). He also has to micromanage EVERYTHING right down to telling who can start first with putting their plate together at the “buffet” line and who sits where at the table.
And let’s not forget the inevitable racist comments, political comments, etc. All while he knows my stance on things, he brings [things] up all the time to get a reaction out of me.My husband hates going over there and so do my kids. None of us ever have a good time.
Sooooo when my mom sent the “Christmas invitation” Facebook messenger message… I FINALLY worked up the courage to say “we have other plans for Christmas but thank you for the invitation.”
I’m all nervous now. I just KNOW a phone call is coming eventually because my dad is gonna be all “why aren’t you guys coming to Christmas?” but I’m glad I at least got the “decline” out of the way. It was really hard to do, guys. But I did it. Whew.
48points
Aside from the obvious fact that living with someone who doesn’t care about you completely sucks, the more serious psychological damage runs much further than just hurt feelings.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, your entire environment becomes unpredictable. You never know which version of your parent you’ll get. One day they might show you affection, but the next day they completely ignore you.
Acceptance is never guaranteed, and it’s strictly conditional, meaning you only get love when you perform well or do exactly what they want. Because of this, kids in these homes never build a true sense of emotional safety.
#16 My Nfather Created A "Corrected" Version Of My Childhood Photo Album
While visiting my parents, I found a photo album I'd never seen before. It contained all the same pictures from my childhood, but my father had meticulously edited them:
Photos of me crying had captions like "Dramatic performance over minor issues"
Pictures of my achievements were labeled "Compensating for inadequacy"
Any image where I looked happy had notes like "Superficial enjoyment, underlying issues clear"
He'd even drawn arrows pointing to my posture or facial expressions with clinical analysis
The most heartbreaking was a picture of my 7th birthday where he'd written: "Notice the lack of genuine connection with peers. Early signs of social dysfunction."
I always knew he was critical, but seeing my entire childhood rewritten through this pathological lens broke something in me. My mother says "it's just his way of coping," but this feels like psychological violence.
Photos of me crying had captions like "Dramatic performance over minor issues"
Pictures of my achievements were labeled "Compensating for inadequacy"
Any image where I looked happy had notes like "Superficial enjoyment, underlying issues clear"
He'd even drawn arrows pointing to my posture or facial expressions with clinical analysis
The most heartbreaking was a picture of my 7th birthday where he'd written: "Notice the lack of genuine connection with peers. Early signs of social dysfunction."
I always knew he was critical, but seeing my entire childhood rewritten through this pathological lens broke something in me. My mother says "it's just his way of coping," but this feels like psychological violence.
Report
47points
#17 My Mother's Friends All Shut Her Down When She Told A Story About My "Badness"
For context, when I was three years old, I was in the washroom and decided to try on my mom's necklace. In all fairness, it was a beautiful thing that she had worn to her wedding. But I dropped in in the toilet. Then, 3 year old, impulsive, later to be diagnosed ADHD me, flushed it. And obviously, it flushed, never to be seen again.
I have always felt terrible about this. I have apologized for many, many years. Age 6, age 9, age 13 - I'm sorry mom for flushing your necklace down the toilet. I'm sure we're all familiar with those petty, insulted responses.
So recently, at a dinner party with all of her neighbourhood friends, Mom decides to pipe up and tell the story of how awful little u/Spontanemoose destroyed her property. One-upping everyone's light-hearted tales, of course.
Mom starts the story: "When u/Spontanemoose was three-"
Here she gets cut off by "Tom", a teacher, great guy: "She was three? Shouldn't she have been supervised!?"
Mom didn't even get to tell her story! The entire party agreed with Tom instantly, no-way it's the three-year-old's fault! My mother was stunned and didn't say anything as the conversation moved on.
I have never felt that amazed, and god, so relieved.
I have always felt terrible about this. I have apologized for many, many years. Age 6, age 9, age 13 - I'm sorry mom for flushing your necklace down the toilet. I'm sure we're all familiar with those petty, insulted responses.
So recently, at a dinner party with all of her neighbourhood friends, Mom decides to pipe up and tell the story of how awful little u/Spontanemoose destroyed her property. One-upping everyone's light-hearted tales, of course.
Mom starts the story: "When u/Spontanemoose was three-"
Here she gets cut off by "Tom", a teacher, great guy: "She was three? Shouldn't she have been supervised!?"
Mom didn't even get to tell her story! The entire party agreed with Tom instantly, no-way it's the three-year-old's fault! My mother was stunned and didn't say anything as the conversation moved on.
I have never felt that amazed, and god, so relieved.
Report
44points
#18 It Finally Happened. The Mask Slipped, The Veil Lifted, Everyone Sees Who She Is, And It’s Glorious
My mother has been [toxic] my entire life. I went NC with her 2 years ago. I didn’t have the flying monkeys, but my sibling would try and defend her, despite my mother emotionally manipulating my nephews in such ways that I would have had her criminally charged for. In amongst other things she was emotionally manipulating one of her grandchildren, saying “if you move out of my house I’ll end it as I will have no one to care for me”.
Recently she attempted to absolutely destroy the life of my sibling, the former GC, out of sheer jealousy. I won’t go into details due to potentially doxxing myself, but my sibling nearly ended their own life due to what my mother has done to them.
A few months ago we had a family meet up with family that live overseas who were here visiting. It was pleasant until I attempted to leave, at which point my mother made some digs in an attempt to get me to lose my temper and be the bad person. It didn’t go as planned, she was put in her place by myself, my sibling, and my mother’s sibling, for over an hour. It was glorious! It was an eye opening evening for a lot of people, who all checked in with me the next day asking how I was, due to my mother announcing to the room she “wish she’d tried harder” when I mentioned a time she tried to end my life as a teen.
Fast forward 6 months, she’s alone, her adult children have nothing to do with her, only 1 of her 5 grandchildren have anything to do with her (purely because they’re paid as a carer and my sibling insists that if they’re getting paid they can help out occasionally *but has set strict limitations on what they’re to do for our mother*) but even they dislike her.
I just wanted to post and say, it can and *does* happen. Not always. But sometimes, us black sheep get some justice, and the narc gets their karma!
Recently she attempted to absolutely destroy the life of my sibling, the former GC, out of sheer jealousy. I won’t go into details due to potentially doxxing myself, but my sibling nearly ended their own life due to what my mother has done to them.
A few months ago we had a family meet up with family that live overseas who were here visiting. It was pleasant until I attempted to leave, at which point my mother made some digs in an attempt to get me to lose my temper and be the bad person. It didn’t go as planned, she was put in her place by myself, my sibling, and my mother’s sibling, for over an hour. It was glorious! It was an eye opening evening for a lot of people, who all checked in with me the next day asking how I was, due to my mother announcing to the room she “wish she’d tried harder” when I mentioned a time she tried to end my life as a teen.
Fast forward 6 months, she’s alone, her adult children have nothing to do with her, only 1 of her 5 grandchildren have anything to do with her (purely because they’re paid as a carer and my sibling insists that if they’re getting paid they can help out occasionally *but has set strict limitations on what they’re to do for our mother*) but even they dislike her.
I just wanted to post and say, it can and *does* happen. Not always. But sometimes, us black sheep get some justice, and the narc gets their karma!
42points
A study published in the medical journal Cureus shows that over time, the constant instability at home messes with a person’s identity. Adults raised in these conditions often struggle with a broken self-image and have a really hard time managing heavy emotions like stress, anger, or sadness. They are also far more likely to battle anxiety and depression later in life.
Worst of all, without help, these toxic patterns can get passed down to the next generation. Kids raised by narcissists sometimes internalize those dysfunctional behaviors, unconsciously repeating the same narcissistic habits with their own children simply because it was the only model of love they ever knew.
#19 My Dad Secretly Spied On Me For 7 Years Through My Car
Me (24F), and my husband (27M) found last week a gps, microphone, etc in my car.
When I turned 18, my dad gave me a car as a “gift.” It was basic, but I was grateful , I thought it was his way of showing support as I started my adult life.
But over the years, things never felt right. He always seemed to know where I was, who I was with, or even what I was talking about. And a lot of the times my car wouldn't start; he always said the battery was run-down, i suspected, now i know it was him turning the car off remotely through his phone. My gut always told me something was off, but every time I brought it up, he denied everything and made me feel paranoid.
Now, last week, my husband and I finally found a GPS, a microphone, and even a small camera hidden inside the car. When my husband started removing them, my dad instantly shuted off the car remotely. That’s when it hit me — he had been watching and listening this entire time.
I can’t describe how disgusting and violated I feel. This wasn’t love or protection — it was control, manipulation, and obsession. And worst of all, the car is not even in my name yet. It's still in his name.
I don’t even know where to start — legally, emotionally, or spiritually. Has anyone ever gone through something like this? What did you do after realizing someone you trusted was invading your privacy like this?
When I turned 18, my dad gave me a car as a “gift.” It was basic, but I was grateful , I thought it was his way of showing support as I started my adult life.
But over the years, things never felt right. He always seemed to know where I was, who I was with, or even what I was talking about. And a lot of the times my car wouldn't start; he always said the battery was run-down, i suspected, now i know it was him turning the car off remotely through his phone. My gut always told me something was off, but every time I brought it up, he denied everything and made me feel paranoid.
Now, last week, my husband and I finally found a GPS, a microphone, and even a small camera hidden inside the car. When my husband started removing them, my dad instantly shuted off the car remotely. That’s when it hit me — he had been watching and listening this entire time.
I can’t describe how disgusting and violated I feel. This wasn’t love or protection — it was control, manipulation, and obsession. And worst of all, the car is not even in my name yet. It's still in his name.
I don’t even know where to start — legally, emotionally, or spiritually. Has anyone ever gone through something like this? What did you do after realizing someone you trusted was invading your privacy like this?
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41points
#20 Can We Just Appreciate How My In Laws Shutdown My Narc Parents??
So for some background I have Narcissistic Parents. They constantly made my life a living hell. So I cut them off. But if any of you have experience with having Narc Parents just know that evil doesn’t [vanish] so easily.
My parents would make up lies about how I treat them and constantly try to play the victim. But in reality they are the ones who treat me like [trash] and call me horrible names. At first they tried with my fiance but he immediately shut it down. He knew they were liars and could hear my parents through the phone when they would call me names. Last time they tried to lie to him again and all he had to say was “I heard you”, immediately they hang up the call.
Once they knew they couldn’t get to my fiance they went to my In laws. My parents told them horrible things about me, that I am a pathological liar, and that they needed to “beware”of me. Most in laws would dump me off the street. But thankfully my in laws love me so much that they actually called and listened to me. My fiancé and I told them everything about my parents and they believed us 100%. Because I am the one who made a relationship with them not my parents. My parents never even attempted to be friends with my in laws.
Recently my in laws told me that they understood why I didn’t want them talking to my parents. Each time they do it has never been anything nice or pleasant about me. It’s not about caring what my parents think about their family, what matters is supporting and loving me because that is what I need right now. So just even talking to my parents and entertaining their negative conversation about me that hurts me and they don’t ever want that. Because their loyalty is to their son and now their daughter.
I cried hearing that. I have never felt so loved and so seen in that moment. Not even my own family members love me that much.
Today my parents asked to speak to my in laws again. But do you know what their reply was??? “Respectfully we don’t want to talk about anything relating to OP and our son” my parents have been absolute crickets!!! TENS ACROSS THE BOARD letting my parents know they are done with their [attitude]!!
My parents would make up lies about how I treat them and constantly try to play the victim. But in reality they are the ones who treat me like [trash] and call me horrible names. At first they tried with my fiance but he immediately shut it down. He knew they were liars and could hear my parents through the phone when they would call me names. Last time they tried to lie to him again and all he had to say was “I heard you”, immediately they hang up the call.
Once they knew they couldn’t get to my fiance they went to my In laws. My parents told them horrible things about me, that I am a pathological liar, and that they needed to “beware”of me. Most in laws would dump me off the street. But thankfully my in laws love me so much that they actually called and listened to me. My fiancé and I told them everything about my parents and they believed us 100%. Because I am the one who made a relationship with them not my parents. My parents never even attempted to be friends with my in laws.
Recently my in laws told me that they understood why I didn’t want them talking to my parents. Each time they do it has never been anything nice or pleasant about me. It’s not about caring what my parents think about their family, what matters is supporting and loving me because that is what I need right now. So just even talking to my parents and entertaining their negative conversation about me that hurts me and they don’t ever want that. Because their loyalty is to their son and now their daughter.
I cried hearing that. I have never felt so loved and so seen in that moment. Not even my own family members love me that much.
Today my parents asked to speak to my in laws again. But do you know what their reply was??? “Respectfully we don’t want to talk about anything relating to OP and our son” my parents have been absolute crickets!!! TENS ACROSS THE BOARD letting my parents know they are done with their [attitude]!!
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41points
Whether you’re the child of a narcissistic parent or the parent of a child with another narcissistic parent, resources are available that can help you navigate this relationship.
Research shows that with the right support, like targeted trauma therapy, survivors can actually rebuild their confidence.
People can also learn how to set firm, healthy boundaries and build a stable sense of who they really are.
