“As Much As You Make In A Year”: 71 Arrogant People Who Managed To Do Something Deeply Cringe

I had a roommate that had received his B.Sc in Computer Science about a year before I convocated. He perpetually would drop acronyms and terminology around anyone who would listen in an attempt to impress them with his limitless knowledge. He also had an inate ability to fail at just about anything, and would throw HUGE pouts when it was pointed out to him.

He had taken a contract to update a website for a company in his hometown to the tune of $4k. He bragged about it perpetually and told us how fantastic the site was going to be after he was finished, SQL backend, code riddled with PHP and fancy AJAX stuff. I got a lowly job as a summer student working at yellow pages as a web dev.

At the end of the summer, we're all drinking beer and enjoying some TV, and he's bragging about how he just got paid and got the cheque for the $4k. I asked him how long he had worked on the project. Turned out he used the entire summer trying to make the site as flashy and fancy as possible, while failing at the simple functionality that they needed/requested and had to fall back to something not in his vision.

I laughed at him, told him that I got paid about $15k over the last 4 months. He snobbishly asked me what I had done, fully expecting that I had worked some labour job that didn't earn me any experience, to which I replied that I had been working as a web dev, coding in the exact same stuff that he had, but hadn't failed at it.

The group of us couldn't contain our laughter. We didn't see him come out of his room for 3 days.

TL;DR - roommate took 4 months to program [trashy] website, thought he had earned big bucks and rep for job well done, burned on earnings and experience gained by "simple student" doing similar job.

Exiting the local home improvement store with a spring in my step I started running while pushing my shopping cart full of light bulbs and cat litter.

I had built up considerable speed and with one last massive push I hopped in the air expecting this shopping cart to have the same design as the models used at my local grocery store. (You put one or two feet on the cross support and ride the cart).

This was not at all the same design and my foot had nothing to land on except the rapidly moving ground.

I bounced and folded halfway into the cart one moment, the next the cart flipped end over end and I was rolling on the ground.

6-8 people saw me do this and 2 of the dozen light bulbs were broken.

I wish I could go back and say to the onlookers "I meant to do that".

My older step brother had just got a scooter that he thought made him [cool], he had just turned 16. So me and a friend are standing outside the garage talking and he rolls up on his scooter and to show what a [cool] scooter he had go does a wheely but scooters aren't made to do wheelys and a huge chunk of the rear plastic breaks off, to his horror. The look on his face made it worth the years of beatings.

A group of friends and I were all together watching a movie and a girl with us tried to imitate the part in 'rumble in the bronx' where jackie chan somersaults into a handstand and does a push up. Somersault ensues, she rolls into the handstand, and right as she pushes down... she lets out the wettest, juciest fart I 've ever heard in my life.

I tried to self tan in high school because all the cool girls had beautiful bronzed skin. So, I went to my local cvs and bought the cheapest bronzing lotion I could find. Went home, applied said lotion liberally to my arms and legs, and did not rinse it off for hours, per the instructions. I'll never forget showing up to school the next day...I walk in to first period wearing shorts and a t-shirt- ALL eyes, even my teacher's, were fixated on my orange tinted, unevenly streaked flesh. Even my palms were orange as I didn't think to wash off the lotion when I used it! The silence was broken when one girl exclaimed, "now that's a fashion statement!" Laughter ensued. Did not feel cool. Am still pale to this day.

I was playing table tennis, and above the table were rafters from the level above, aligned perpendicularly to the direction of the table. A friend and I discovered you could hit the table tennis ball into the rafters and it would bounce to the opposite rafter and continue to the other side of the table tennis table. Anyway, my Dad was around and I was trying to show it to him, but it didn't work.

I like to keep the stakes low.

At Yankee Stadium a few years back I was in the bleachers for a sold-out game (not sure if was against the sox but probably). This wanna-be white boy gangsta guido tried to start a chant from the front of the bleachers but it resulted in about 3000 rowdy drunk fans shouting "YOU ARE GAY!" while pointing at him. I'm not generally a big fan of homophobic sheeple chanting, but this was hilarious.

Dude at a party acts like he's the man, like he's boys with everyone. Hits on all of the taken girls that are friends with the dudes who live in the house. Ends up pissing everyone off, but he can't tell.

He then declares that he's going to do a keg stand, and starts talking [trash] to nobody in particular. So two kids who live in the house act all chummy with him and lift his legs up, let him get to 5, then drop him face-first onto the keg.

About 15 years ago I had just installed a new 15" subwoofer in my trunk, ran all the wiring myself and built the box myself. I finished Saturday night and was totally blasting it for some fun. The next morning when we were about to leave for church I said I wanted to drive separately to check out my system some more. I get to church running late and park in a tight spot real close to the front door that has a concrete pillar next to my front fender, run into church and sit with the family.

Afterward, I am the first person out with my sister and I get the great idea to BLAST some awful music (think Limp Bizkit, hey, it was the 90's!) to look cool while all the parishioners were leaving church. So it's like BUMP BUMP (rattle rattle b/c my trunk rattled of course) BUMP and I begin to pull out, forgetting the concrete pillar next to my fender and proceed to grind against it and break the [hell] out of my front headlight.

Of course everyone was already looking at me because of the huge base and terrible music, so to add on top of that me totally wrecking my front fender and lens was icing.

tl;dr - Wrecked car in front of church with loud [trashy] music playing and new subwoofer bumping.

Just today, I was in IKEA with a friend of mine and he was pushing the cart. He proceeds to "ghost ride the whip" in the middle of the kitchen section, steps on an IKEA map someone had thrown on the floor, and immediately slips and smacks the floor hard. I think all of IKEA shook. He popped right back up, everything but his dignity intact.

I laughed so hard my face turned blue, it was amazing.

One of my friend's roommates just bought a brand new Camaro SS, which he made sure came with an automatic transmission (embarrassing enough). Anyways, the other day he woke up, went for a drive, and noted that a cop was sitting on the other side of the road. On his way back home he forgot that a cop was sitting there and decided to speed, which landed him a speeding ticket and a ticket for no proof of insurance since his dad hadn't covered the new car yet.

My friend was having a party in JH school and had a trampoline set up right outside the sliding doors of the basement. I mustered up the courage to do a running jump/chest slide onto the trampoline from the middle of the basement. After a pretty douchey holler that said "look at what I am about to do" I began running...hard. just before I got outside I nailed the screen door, busting it off its hinges and mangling it badly. I landed about 3 feet from the tramp on top of the door. My friends were laughing hysterically. The only thing i hurt was my ego. I did the same thing when i was like 8 only I hit a glass door at my neighbors house. It did not break but jammed me up pretty bad.

I was talking to this girl and some dude came up and hit me in the back of of my head and I turned around in rage and this dude who hit me started running. I chased after him and he ran down some stairs. When I was running down these stairs I tripped on my pants and fell down about 20 ft of stairs. I cut my head open pretty bad and broke my left arm. So basically me trying to not look [weak] made me end up in quite a bit of pain.

In middle school, tried to spike my hair up Dragonball Z style. I have curly hair, so it didn't work in the slightest.

Guy blew past me in a mint 60's muscle car. Saw him on the side of the road on the other side of a hill with a trail of oil leading up to his car.

Ironic justice.

Standing just outside the circle of "popular" kids. Like they were having a conversation, and I'd stand just two feet away, just listening and staring. Yeah.


EDIT: Well apparently I'm not the only person to do this. I guess a lot of people have tried this technique. I don't do this anymore but it makes me cringe every time I remember doing it. *shivers*.

In second grade I would wink at random students and teachers in the hallways.

I'm 15, at my first concert (Metallica, Slipknot and, ugh . . . Lost Prophets)
talking to this beautiful 18 year old girl. Here is the transcript that will be forever embedded in my dreams:

GIRL
"Do you like Led Zeppelin"

ME (I have no idea who or what Led Zeppelin is)
"Yeah.... I Love that guy, he's one of my favourite musicians"

... I totally nailed it.

When I was in 8th grade I was on the football (american) team.

We were practising special team drills, feild goal blocking to be specific.

The coach was pretty upset that the defensive line couldn't break thru and block the ball.

He went on a rampage calling everybody [weak] and grabbed a kid from off the line and said, "let me show you guys how to do it."

The ball gets hiked and the coach runs straight thru the offensive line to block the ball.

Just as he does the kick goes off and smacks him straight in the face nearly knocking him out.

As he's stumbling around in a daze he says, "that's how you do it."

Then he had to be helped off the field.

The girl hosts a party, I ride my motorcycle and end up walking home and leaving my gear/bike at her house. I come back the next day to pick up my bike. I suit up, and she says, 'wow you look awesome in your gear'. I say, I know, right.

Anyways, while I'm backing up out of her driveway I drop the bike going 0mph. I felt stupid.