Hello and welcome to our latest edition in the jokes section. This time, the topic is the epitome of all hospital jokes, the winner in all the medical jokes categories, and something that is even spicier than doctor jokes themselves. Are you ready to guess the topic here? Sure you are - it’s nurse jokes! Jokes dedicated to probably the most dedicated people in medicine who are worthy of nothing else but high praise!
As you’re about to see, these aren’t exactly jokes about nurses but rather jokes for nurses. We just couldn’t bear to make even the friendliest kind of fun of these specialists who saw us through the last couple of years of the pandemic with relentless heroism, saving tens of thousands of lives. Thus, this compilation of funny nurse jokes is more for them rather than about them. A way to pay our respects and provide at least the tiniest bit of comedic relief in their day. And we’ve set the bar for ourselves pretty high here, so hopefully, these hilarious jokes will fulfill their mission!
However, even if you’re not a nurse yourself, chances are you’ll also find these jokes quite amusing. All you have to do is scroll on down to check them out and then give the best jokes your vote! Lastly, share this article with your friends and anyone to whom these jokes might be of concern.
#21
Did you hear about the two podiatrists who left the practice?
They became arch enemies.
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#22
PMS jokes aren’t funny — period.
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#23
What do you tell a nurse when she administers an injection painlessly?
Good jab.
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#24
What did the forgetful nurse say?
"I have a joke on amnesia, but I forget how it goes."
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#25
What did the balloon say to the nurse during the routine checks up?
I am feeling light-headed.
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#26
Why didn’t one nurse find the other nurse’s joke funny?
She had an irony deficiency.
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#27
What did the cookie say to the nurse?
I am feeling crumby.
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#28
Why did the robot asked the nurse to call the doctor immediately?
Because it had a virus.
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#29
What were the nurses discussing at the medical conference?
One of them asked, “Heard about the germ…? Oh never mind, I should not be spreading it around.”
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#30
What did Dracula say to the nurse?
Please call the doctor. I can’t stop coffin.
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#31
How many nurses do you need to change a lightbulb?
It takes just one nurse but she needs 20 seconds to change the lightbulb and 45 minutes to chart it.
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#32
What did the nurse say to the patient who fainted at the airport terminal?
"You have been diagnosed with a terminal illness."
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#33
The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, “You have a cute baby.”
The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.”
“No,” she replied, “just to those whose babies really are good-looking.”
The husband again asked “So what do you say to the others?”
The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you.”
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#34
Patient 1: Why did you run away from the operation table?
Patient 2: The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, things like that.
Patient 1: So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?
Patient 2: She was talking to the surgeon!
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#35
A nurse enters the room of a difficult patient who wants to find out if he’s still ill. At the moment, the nurse already has the results of the examination.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the nurse says.
“Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks.
“10…” says the nurse.
“10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!” he asks desperately.
“10…9…8…7…”
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#36
What did the history student say when the nurse informed him he had a seizure?
"As in Julius Caesar?"
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#37
Why are night nurses such bad dancers?
Their circadian rhythm is generally off.
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#38
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong…
Is probably going off duty.
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#39
You should always be kind to nurses.
Remember they choose your catheter size.
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#40
A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.
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