57 Things Lawyers And Judges Witnessed In Court That They Still Can’t Forget

As an intern in Family Court, I watched a woman in a custody proceeding decide to act out by banging her hands on the chair she was sitting in and then throwing herself on the floor due to the Judges ruling. The Judge watched her perform and then calmly mentioned did he have to order a 730 examination. The woman got up off the floor and sat quietly in the Courtroom while the Judge finished the custody determination. Yada yada the woman scratched her exes’s car in the parking lot.

Domestic violence jury trial, victim testifying. She starts to have a panic attack, prosecutor asks to approach. As prosecutor walks up, victim stands up and faints, lands right on top of the prosecutor, at the base of the jury box. Hello, mistrial.

I mean, how about being in the middle of a custody hearing when you find out that the parties are still seeing each other?

Witness was repeatedly asked questions about missing documents and why weren't they produced. Where are they? He stood up pulled his pants down spread his cheek a nd said, "I don't know. Do you see them in there?"

Once I had a defendant in jail ask me to get in her Facebook page and tell everyone where she was.

I had a defense lawyer try to trick my hand writing expert on the stand with a color copy of the documents in question. He went through an entire production by wearing gloves etc. Thankfully my expert calmly said “nice try that’s a copy not the original” and the jury gasped and glared at the lawyer.

My ex boyfriend walk in as a defendant my first night as an assistant public defender in local town criminal night court

Not half as good as some of these, but being voie dired (?) for a defendant that was named, I kid you not, Sapphire Dibbles. She had shanked her BF for being with his side piece. Someone had tried to clean her up. Two toned hair pulled back. Some semblance of a thrift store suit, and then dirty white sandals. Must have caught me giving side eye, because she whispered to her lawyer, who immediately scratched me off the list.

Not shocking and honestly not even what you’re asking for but I’ll never pass up an opportunity to laugh at my awkwardness: I was called for jury duty, everyone was in the room kind of waiting around and I needed to go to the restroom. When I came back, I opened the court room door at the same time the elderly bailiff was opening it from the other side and for whatever reason my immediate response was to say “BOO!” The room was silent so everyone heard. I did not get picked for duty.

Jury selection. Attorney misspoke a potential juror’s last name and called him “Mr. Piss.”

defendant took cyanide and [unalived] himself in the courtroom after being convicted of burning down his multimillion dollar home here in Arizona, guy went after his defense attorney tried to [unalive] him in the courtroom, a personal friend and public defender did CPR on a defendant who was having a heart attack without any thought of her own personal safety, guy broke out into a interpretive dance instead of making a statement...

I had to to appear in court over a speeding violation. One case that was presented was where a guy committed a crime with a friend, fled the scene when police arrived and his friend was arrested, not him. Fast forward 6 months later, this guys conscience caught up with him and he voluntarily turned himself in. The judge couldn’t stop shaking his head. All of us in the courtroom silently locked eyes with each other all thinking the same thing, we are all looking really good right now 😶.

This was a teen court case and I’ll never forget it:
Defense Attorney: Why did you step on his shoes?
Defendant: Because he called me a Cracker.
Defense Attorney: Cracker? Like Ritz or Saltine?
Mind you I’m the co-defense attorney and sitting behind him. I just had to look down and close my eyes

Houston judge wanted lawyers to call each other Dr. because JD. At a status hearing for a personal injury case the availability of the MDs for each side was being discussed which made for a total of four doctors. At one point the Judge asked about Dr. Jones and Dr. Smith said, with more than a little frustration, "No, judge, HE'S Dr. Jones".

The judge dropped that requirement soon after and began to wear the historical judicial robes: red. Texas judges wear black, muni to the Supreme Court

I live on a farm. We have critters. Was in motion court waiting for my matter to be called. Matter before me dragging on. Magistrate was asleep (I think). Next thing, a loud CROAK emanates from my briefcase and two little webbed feet appear at the top of it. A loud plop is heard as a frog leaps onto the floor. I elbow the advocate next to me and say "catch it!" He says "it's YOUR frog!" I flutter my eyelashes at him and say "But I'm a GIRL!"

He catches the frog and puts it back in my briefcase.

I was evicting a resident at the request of my boss. It appeared he was losing so on the last day his lawyer dropped something about his “late wife” while I was on the stand. I had a disgusted look on my face because I just saw her yesterday and knew the sleazy attorney was lying. I should have called them out. But I didn’t. We lost and I got fired. All because my boss didn’t like the guy. I never went back into property management.

I had a settlement conference in Visalia 2 hour drive and I had the flu. Judge told me the number to settle and I said usual song and dance about negotiation. Judge got mad and had me and counsel thrown out of the courthouse. Revenge was sweet as we got a defense verdict at trial