57 Things Lawyers And Judges Witnessed In Court That They Still Can’t Forget

Not really shocking to any one from our city. Jury pool included board member’s wife for large company case being prosecuted. “Do you think you might have an issue with judging this case, Mrs S___ (S____ being the NAME OF THE COMPANY)”
Very genteel lady response “I don’t see how I wouldn’t”. She was excused. We townies burst out laughing.

My divorce. A big screen tv was wheeled in, and there I am in my back yard adjusting my bikini top, sunbathing. My jerk ex had hired a PI to sneak around and film me. To prove I didn't need alimony.

Defendant didn’t stand when the judge walked in.

Judge: “you like games?!? What’s your favorite? Monopoly? Clue? Mine is locking people up! Sheriff!”

Foster parents can tell so many sad stories. Most involve sitting in court and hearing a lot of details about multiple types of hurt actively going on in a house, and then after the judge hears all of that, they rule against the advice of the social worker and GAL and decide the kids are going back to that home TODAY and there’s no time to even prepare the kids.

When I cross examined the " Good Mormon Husband" with printouts of his M4M Craigslist personals posts that showed his face and a whole lot more

Not “shocking” but there was a pro se criminal defendant who came to every hearing and to file in the Clerk’s Office wearing the exact outfit he was wearing in every single piece of video evidence.

Mid custody hearing pro se mom jumped me because I opposed her motion for custody (medical records showed father unavailable because she and her other sons beat him and landed him in hospital). That is why I no longer do family law

The father of a child I was working with threatened to [end] me. He had done this several times in person and over the phone. Decided to do it in front of the judge too.

A pro se defendant when I clerked for a municipal judge who refused to answer anything verbally, would only point to his “statement”. Said statement ended up framed in the judge’s office, it was such a … masterpiece. He claimed he was the Divine Messiah, and thusly (there was much fancy-sounding language) not subject to the court’s jurisdiction.

Alternatively, if the judge would not recognize his divinity (as he was used to being persecuted 🎻), he was the two hundred and something descendant of Charlemagne, and thus had diplomatic immunity as a representative of the Holy Roman Empire. 👑

Like others have said, don't know if this is shocking, but I was called for jury duty. The judge asked me what I did for a living. I told him I am a pharmacist. He said, "Oh, so you can get the good stuff, huh?" I stared at him for a moment and said, "That's inappropriate." He made a face but didn't say anything. He knew he was wrong to say that.

I was a post bar working for a plaintiff's lawyer. He took me to my first deposition, which was more exciting than any deposition should be because he and opposing counsel got in a physical altercation during it. Two late middle aged men rolling around on the conference room table throwing relatively ineffective punches. The court reporter reported the whole thing too.

Mine happened during my divorce mediation. My ex was demanding full custody and child support.

My lawyer casually slid full color 8x10 photos on glossy paper to everyone at the table. This is the home my ex lived in with his elderly ailing parents, rent-free. His parents are both gone now and this building has been demolished, which is why I'm comfortable sharing these.

His attorney immediately asked for separate rooms. Our mediation ended when my ex walked out on his lawyer.

Now, it wasn't that he lived in a mobile home with his parents, I already knew that for many years.

It was that he, an able bodied, employed, adult man allowed the home of his parents to remain in squalor and wanted our children to live in the same.

A defendant received a 60 year sentence. Before he was remanded, he punched his attorney dead in the face. I mean, knocked that man off of his feet. What's a 6 month simple battery misdemeanor when the court just served up a 60 piece hard labor sentence, right?

Attorney was also on the elder board at a church and apparently was used to praying in front of the congregation. As he got into the rhythm of his opening statement: “…and looking at the evidence, Father God - er - Your Honor…”

Judge Kevin Farmer of Fulton Counry giving full custody to a man who admitted to [violence] and when he wasn’t making medical purchases for his children for 5 years & still at the trial a year later admitted he wasn’t administering medicine as prescribed.

When I was in court (long story), the judge said you may be seated. I was handcuffed and ankle cuffed. I go to sit, and I fell soooo hard. A loud thud then an audible gasp from the whole room. The officer and my lawyer had to help me up due to the cuffs. On top of it being one of the most traumatic times of my life, it was also one of the most embarassing.

When I had initially stood up my lawyer pulled my chair back a little bit. I didn’t know

I was apart of a jury and the defendant’s lawyer said a body couldn’t fit in a suitcase. Prosecutors ordered an exact duplicate of the suitcase and got inside and zipped it.

Needless to say they were found guilty and sentenced to life.

Even crazier a girl a part of the jury team felt guilty and said she was going to write him a letter 😐

I saw local police try to enter into evidence the statement of a 5 year old child as absolutely reliable. They also stated the same child could not actually testify because a 5 year old is an unreliable witness.
The magistrate looked over her glasses at the police prosecutor and said “you can’t have it both ways. Is the child reliable or not?”

Lots of people try lots of ways to get out of jury duty. I was picking a jury once when one guy pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to the judge's clerk. The judge excused him, and then told the lawyers that the letter was from his pastor and said that if picked that man to be on a jury, then "God will smite them." The judge said the jury commissioner was going to have a word with that juror and his pastor.

We finished picking a jury in one of the nicer areas in Los Angeles County. The judge had the clerk swear the jury, then the judge immediately stopped and asked one of the jurors if he had just flipped off the clerk. The juror admitted he had. No one saw it except the Judge. Judge excused the juror from the jury and told him to go to the public defender’s office, he needed an attorney for the OSC re Contempt.