Lying is a sin; at least that’s what many of us in the Christian part of the world were taught as kids. Nevertheless, we still did it and continue to do until today. Some lies we tell are little white lies, like when we tell someone we’ll be there in only 5 minutes when, in reality, we haven’t even gotten up from bed. Other lies can be life-changing, like cheating on your partner or hiding your child’s true parentage.
It would be nice to have built-in lie detectors in our brains — that way, we could never be deceived or made fools. However, some people are such bad liars that clocking their lies is easier than spotting a black ram in a field of white sheep. In one online thread, a netizen asked fellow Redditors: “What is the most obvious lie you have ever been told?”
Some of these stories are the perfect example that coming up with a good lie is an art, and some of us can be hilariously terrible at it.
#1
"We cannot give you a raise right now, but we will compensate you as soon as the budget allows".
Turns out "when the budget allows" is "when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice".
Turns out "when the budget allows" is "when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice".
55points
#2
I speak French, though I’m losing it from lack of use. But one of my college guy friends started dating a girl “from France.” He was all excited because she could talk to me in her native language and I could help translate. So he brought her to a party at my sorority house and introduced us.
I greeted her in French with a very simple, “bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va” which is just hi, welcome, how are you.
Blank stare and red face in response. She then said, in what I thought was a kind of strange accent, that she’s sorry, she didn’t understand me. I looked at the guy and said “I thought you told me she was French?” Because maybe she was a different nationality and he was confused.
He looked at her and she just turned and left. He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool.
He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied. She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something.
I would see her around on campus after that but she avoided me like the plague. TBH, I felt bad for her, but if you’re going to fake it, at least pick a country with a language you can speak.
I greeted her in French with a very simple, “bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va” which is just hi, welcome, how are you.
Blank stare and red face in response. She then said, in what I thought was a kind of strange accent, that she’s sorry, she didn’t understand me. I looked at the guy and said “I thought you told me she was French?” Because maybe she was a different nationality and he was confused.
He looked at her and she just turned and left. He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool.
He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied. She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something.
I would see her around on campus after that but she avoided me like the plague. TBH, I felt bad for her, but if you’re going to fake it, at least pick a country with a language you can speak.
41points
#3
My husband angrily telling me he DOES help me with the house chores by vacuuming kitchen 3-4 times a week. When asked how come I have NEVER seen him doing it, he claimed he does it before I come from work. I hid the vacuum attachment (can't vacuum without it), it has been 3 weeks and he still hasn't noticed hahaha.
37points
#5
"We will keep your resume on hand, and let you know if any other positions open up."
As a recent graduate job searching, it hurts.
As a recent graduate job searching, it hurts.
30points
#6
My ex told me he was in a car accident, totaled his car, broke a few ribs. (He was trying to get sympathy so i would get back together with him.) Blaming the accident on me, since he was "Distracted" after the break up.
He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, i google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked. He formulated the story after the picture.
But here's the deal, the wheels didn't match. So i drove by his house that evening, car was fixed and in his driveway. "Oh yes, i paid the shop extra to get me in today. So i could have my car to come see you if you wanted me to....."
HAHAHA bro.
He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, i google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked. He formulated the story after the picture.
But here's the deal, the wheels didn't match. So i drove by his house that evening, car was fixed and in his driveway. "Oh yes, i paid the shop extra to get me in today. So i could have my car to come see you if you wanted me to....."
HAHAHA bro.
30points
#7
“If you tell a teacher the bullies will leave you alone”
That lie ruined my school life.....
That lie ruined my school life.....
28points
#8
When my friend was an infant, her mother put her 2-year-old sibling in her crib while the mom left the room briefly. When mom came back, my friend was crying and had teeth marks on her forehead. When mom asked the older sibling what happened, she calmly said, "She bit herself."
27points
#9
Yes the company has been sold, but the new owners are not making any changes in personnel.
I've been fired 3 times because of new owners.
I've been fired 3 times because of new owners.
27points
#10
I was picking up a sofa from a guy I found on Kijiji and he stopped me right before leaving to see if I wanted to buy a mirror he was also looking to get rid of. I wasn't really interested but my wife seemed keen so we stopped in the hallway to check it out. He said "It was a gift from my son in law. It's a beautiful mid-century antique. I'll let it go for $75." He went on about what an amazing mirror it was and even told me "pick it up and feel how sturdy it is!".
I picked it up (it was really heavy actually) and took a peek at the back and saw a sticker from Value Village with a $30 price tag. I kinda chuckled to myself and asked if he would go any lower than $75. He said "I really couldn't". Then I said "Well, I can see a tag from Value Village on the back here..."
We ended up getting the "mid-century antique" mirror for $15 and me and my wife still laugh about the amazing deal we got on it.
I picked it up (it was really heavy actually) and took a peek at the back and saw a sticker from Value Village with a $30 price tag. I kinda chuckled to myself and asked if he would go any lower than $75. He said "I really couldn't". Then I said "Well, I can see a tag from Value Village on the back here..."
We ended up getting the "mid-century antique" mirror for $15 and me and my wife still laugh about the amazing deal we got on it.
26points
#11
"I will be ready in five minutes" - never, never has that been the case.
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26points
#12
My first watch was an omega and I saved up on high school to get it. One of my good friends back then asked to wear it for 1 period and would give it back at lunch. He begged and begged so as a hs kid I gave in or couldn’t keep saying no I guess, weak on me, obviously. Well, He smashed it (apparently smashed the glass to test it) gave it back and said it was a fake and that’s why the glass cracked and said he didn’t do it and it just fell apart. The jerk became a medical doctor and is now involved in politics and holds state office. I’m still pissed about the watch he never admitted he broke cuz he was salty and jealous. Jerk then, jerk now.
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22points
#13
Someone once told my own story back to me. I told them something funny that happened to me, and 6 mos later they told me back my own story, only that it happened to them.
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22points
#14
My little girl told everyone in the supermarket that our cat passed and she was sad. We don’t own a cat.
21points
#15
when i was 16 i’d had a crush on one of my coworkers, and he’d liked me back. i thought things were going good until i asked him if he wanted to go out on our shared day off, he agreed, and then the day of cancelled and told me it was because he needed to take care of his fish.
plot twist here is that i’d told a few of my friends, two of which worked with me and the guy, and i went on and on about how rude it is of him to not even give me a believable lie. those friends were all hanging out and went to walmart that day, and ran into my crush....buying food and supplies for his fish. he told them how excited he was about the fish too. i felt like the biggest jerk.
plot twist here is that i’d told a few of my friends, two of which worked with me and the guy, and i went on and on about how rude it is of him to not even give me a believable lie. those friends were all hanging out and went to walmart that day, and ran into my crush....buying food and supplies for his fish. he told them how excited he was about the fish too. i felt like the biggest jerk.
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21points
#16
A guy at work told me to my face in a meeting that I didn’t need to sign off on his task because my supervisor had already checked it. Which was weird, because my supervisor had been off all week and left me in charge.
He acted so shocked when I pointed this out, like, what, did a ghost check your work? He didn’t think his story through at all.
He acted so shocked when I pointed this out, like, what, did a ghost check your work? He didn’t think his story through at all.
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21points
#17
My niece with her homework: Oh, I understand how to do it, so I don't need to do my homework.
Girl, your Ds and Fs say otherwise.
Girl, your Ds and Fs say otherwise.
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21points
#19
Something a family friend (FF) said when he got to the UK:
kid: but if you're from South Africa, why aren't you black?
FF: Well, when you cross the equator you turn white.
kid: but if you're from South Africa, why aren't you black?
FF: Well, when you cross the equator you turn white.
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20points
#20
As a tax accountant, I'm told lies about how much money people actually made all the time during tax season.
My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash.
My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash.
19points