Most of us do everything we can to avoid offending other people. We try to be polite, pleasant, and kind to other humans, whether they’re a close friend or a stranger on the street. But occasionally, you might find yourself in a situation where a sharp tongue and a quick mind will come in handy. So if you’re looking to slip some brutal insults into your back pocket, you’ve come to the right place.
Netizens have recently been recalling the most intelligent and scathing insults they’ve ever heard, so we’ve compiled a list of them below. These roasts are so brilliant that they might fly completely over someone’s head or take a moment for them to understand, but that’s what makes them so beautiful. Enjoy scrolling through these Shakespearean-esque digs, and be sure to upvote the ones that you’d love to dish out in the future!
#1
David Simon (creator of The Wire) to Florida congressman Anthony Sabatini who suggested in a Twitter post about the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse that "DEI did this":
“Your mother did you, but after a hard life of service on a truck-stop lot, can we really hold her loosened, battered womb responsible for dropping you head-first on the Winnebago floor and burdening our society with another empty, racist demagogue thereafter? We cannot.”.
“Your mother did you, but after a hard life of service on a truck-stop lot, can we really hold her loosened, battered womb responsible for dropping you head-first on the Winnebago floor and burdening our society with another empty, racist demagogue thereafter? We cannot.”.
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32points
#2
The prime minister of NZ : the annual migration of NZers to Australia raises the average IQ of both countries.
24points
#3
• Rose: "Can I ask a dumb question?"
• Dorothy: "Better than anyone I know.”.
• Dorothy: "Better than anyone I know.”.
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22points
#4
My top 3 favourates:
I am impressed with your commitment to your current level of understanding.
You're remarkably hard to underestimate.
Somewhere in an attic, there is a portrait of you getting smarter.
I am impressed with your commitment to your current level of understanding.
You're remarkably hard to underestimate.
Somewhere in an attic, there is a portrait of you getting smarter.
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20points
#5
From" TheJeffersons". TV show. I believe the maid says to Mr. Jefferson, "That's not the stupidest thing I'll ever hear because you will keep talking". Made a big impression on me as a kid.
18points
#6
You seem like the kind of guy who would climb a glass wall to see what’s on the other side.
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16points
#7
You're the first person I've met who actually reached their full potential.
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15points
#8
Describing an incompetent collegue who didn't understand a basic concept: "The gates are down... the lights are flashing... but the train ain't commin'...".
15points
#9
Gore Vidal got punched out by Norman Mailer at a party for writing a bad review of a Mailer book.
From the floor: “Once again, words have failed Norman Mailer.”.
From the floor: “Once again, words have failed Norman Mailer.”.
14points
#11
Cognitive Minimalist took me a second, which was embarrassing for obvious reasons.
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14points
#12
I have neither the time or the crayons to explain it to you.
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11points
#13
I once overheard someone say "you have the perfect face for radio" and it sailed right past me until I was three blocks away. The delayed sting was almost worse than if I'd caught it immediately.
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11points
#14
From the TV show Firefly: "My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.".
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11points
#15
One I have used to describe someone:
"It is entirely true to say that he would win a philosophical debate with a common house brick. However an impartial observer would note that the victory was not an easy one.".
"It is entirely true to say that he would win a philosophical debate with a common house brick. However an impartial observer would note that the victory was not an easy one.".
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11points
#16
"Neither one of us has any idea what you're talking about".
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10points
#17
From the TV show What We Do In The Shadows: "He's blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education.".
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10points
#18
I'll see you later!
Not if I see you first.
I was pretty young when I heard that so I didn't realize the scenario was the second person saying "If I see you coming, I'll hide to avoid you seeing me so I don't have to talk to you.".
Not if I see you first.
I was pretty young when I heard that so I didn't realize the scenario was the second person saying "If I see you coming, I'll hide to avoid you seeing me so I don't have to talk to you.".
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10points
