Ok, we know. There’s a 99,9% chance that something like this has never even remotely crossed your mind. But let’s think about it for a second. The tradition of Santa Claus delivering a Christmas lump of coal to naughty kids has unclear origins, but the theories are all pretty ancient. One of the most popular ones claims that since coal was so commonly used to heat homes, it was easy for Santa to take a piece from the house itself and give it to those kids who caused a little too much trouble that year.
But now? How many homes still use these dark rocks to find some cozy warmth during the harshest winters? We’re not saying it completely disappeared, but Santa Claus would have to come up with some lump of coal alternatives, that’s for sure.
Most Christmas traditions don’t have this problem of anachronism — as long as trees, good food, and ugly sweaters exist — but when it comes to coal, Santa Claus should have adjusted his punishment methods at a certain point. This whole debate was born by an AskReddit post we found that honestly blew our minds for how random but, at the same time, relevant it was.
Is it possible for Santa’s lump of coal to have been updated for the modern era? What if Santa Claus has moved on from this old-fashioned tradition? Or if he decided that the only way to keep up with the times was to get rid of the coal altogether? So many questions that Redditors tried to find a logical answer to. After a careful reading, we collected them all here because the world deserves to know what a modern-day lump of coal would look like. You know, just for the sake of it.
#81
"Well, coal was useful as a heat source but he only gave a lump. So it would have to be something useful in today's age but only by a little.
Probably an old iPhone cable, the wide kind only people with the old phones have."
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#86
"Uh oh Johnny, you better be a good boy, so Santa doesn't take away half of your followers."
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#88

“Nothing. They’d get absolutely nothing. Their stocking would remain empty and there’s be nothing under the tree.”
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