80 Times People Lost Their Cool Over Things That Were Really Not That Serious

Anger is an interesting emotion — something as small as a badly cut cake can cause us mild fury. We feel anger in different ways and at different times, but psychologists can still draw some general conclusions about people and anger. Experts say the average adult gets angry roughly once a day and deals with annoyance or mild irritation around three times a day.

For many, anger has negative connotations. We think of it as destructive, disruptive, and confrontational. We also associate it with violence and loss of control. However, psychologists remind people that anger is a basic human emotion, just like happiness, fear, sadness, and joy. 

As Ryan Martin, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay, explains, anger is important to our survival in an evolutionary sense. "It helps alert us to the fact that we’ve been wronged. It’s our fight or flight response, kicking in to energize us to confront injustice."

What's more, as clinical psychologist Jade Wu, Ph.D., writes for Psychology Today, anger is not a behavior — it's an emotion. She urges us to detach anger from associations with violence, hostility, and aggression: those are actions, while anger is a feeling. 

"While anger can activate aggressive behavior, it doesn’t always and doesn’t have to," Wu writes. "You can feel mad that someone cut you in line for show tickets without flipping them the finger." 

What's the first thing you do when you get angry, Pandas? How do you try to quell your anger? If you think saying your irritations out loud is a good way to get rid of anger, you might be mistaken. Experts say that we shouldn't hold it in, but venting isn't the most effective tool when dealing with frustration.

Some people say that we need to feel our emotions fully to get rid of them, but research points to something different. A 2024 study found that the most effective way to manage your anger is to cool down — take some deep breaths, enter a meditative state, and just generally relax as much as possible. 

Co-author of the study, professor of communication at The Ohio State University, Brad Bushman, said that getting things off your chest doesn't help manage anger as much as lowering your physiological arousal. "Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there’s not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory."

“Despite what popular wisdom may suggest, even going for a run is not an effective strategy because it increases arousal levels and ends up being counterproductive," Bushman went on. Sure, physical activity like swimming, biking, or going for a run can take your mind off of things, but as long as your heart is working overtime, it's not really effective against lowering your anger.