Most people get so caught up in the wedding and nuptials that they forget there’s a whole lifetime ahead of marriage to adjust to. The problem is that some folks rush into the decision or don't truly understand their spouse until later, which can make the scales fall from their eyes.
This is exactly what happened to the men on this list who didn’t recognize their wives' red flags until it was too late. Their shocking stories and secrets expose the regret that bubbles up in some marriages, which should be dealt with sooner rather than later. Read on to learn more about these deceptive relationships.
#21
My ex had an executive assistant who was not very competent at her job. I'll call the XA "Tanya". After I proposed, My ex wanted to send out some "save the date" announcements on some very thick, handmade paper which didn't take well to printers. My office had a better printer and we were trying to save money so I spent 8 hours after work until 3 a.m. hand feeding this paper into the printer, with about a 10% success ratio.
I got 3 hours of sleep then showed her the ones that had printing on them, though some of them were fainter than others. She wasn't happy with the result and said "it was like working with Tayna".
I couldn't believe she was that cruel after the effort I had put into the project and asked for the ring back on the spot. She immediately realized how serious the situation was then started manipulating and gaslighting me into thinking that it was the stress of the wedding planning that caused her to say that. I wanted to believe her so we smoothed things over but sure enough as soon as we got married she started up with the same behavior.
I got 3 hours of sleep then showed her the ones that had printing on them, though some of them were fainter than others. She wasn't happy with the result and said "it was like working with Tayna".
I couldn't believe she was that cruel after the effort I had put into the project and asked for the ring back on the spot. She immediately realized how serious the situation was then started manipulating and gaslighting me into thinking that it was the stress of the wedding planning that caused her to say that. I wanted to believe her so we smoothed things over but sure enough as soon as we got married she started up with the same behavior.
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7points
Unfortunately, a lot of folks who regret their marriage are also hung up on the idea of the “one that got away.” This kind of thinking can make a person idealize their ex and feel like their partner can’t match those perfect standards.
In reality, people need to take a long, hard look at themselves and realize nobody can truly match fiction, and that their previous partners became their exes for a reason. A little self-awareness can help folks move past this idealistic way of thinking and appreciate the person right in front of them.
#23
I should have known well before we got married but I didn’t. I would have stuck it out u to the kids were out of school but I’m glad I didn’t.
I remember not wanting to go home after work because I didn’t know what was waiting at home. I was walking on egg shells in my own home and finally realized she would never work on or fix any of her issues. Funny enough, the breaking point was cats and a litter box. I like cats, but hate litter boxes. She wanted cats and I agreed on the condition I never had to deal with the mother box. Well, 6 months later we have 2 cats and she’s complaining to me about how I don’t clean the litter box enough. I just stood there dumbfounded before we argued and I left for a few hours. I came back, we had a reasonable calm talk and she just couldn’t believe I refused to keep helping with the litter boxes despite our agreement that I wouldn’t ever have to touch them. That was it, that’s when I knew for sure she just wasn’t capable of being a good partner.
Years after the divorce she asked about reconciliation and I told her that therapy was a non negotiable thing for me to even consider it. She refused and that was that.
I remember not wanting to go home after work because I didn’t know what was waiting at home. I was walking on egg shells in my own home and finally realized she would never work on or fix any of her issues. Funny enough, the breaking point was cats and a litter box. I like cats, but hate litter boxes. She wanted cats and I agreed on the condition I never had to deal with the mother box. Well, 6 months later we have 2 cats and she’s complaining to me about how I don’t clean the litter box enough. I just stood there dumbfounded before we argued and I left for a few hours. I came back, we had a reasonable calm talk and she just couldn’t believe I refused to keep helping with the litter boxes despite our agreement that I wouldn’t ever have to touch them. That was it, that’s when I knew for sure she just wasn’t capable of being a good partner.
Years after the divorce she asked about reconciliation and I told her that therapy was a non negotiable thing for me to even consider it. She refused and that was that.
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7points
#24
It should have been our wedding day on 9/22/01. It was an outdoor wedding in Connecticut on the shore, and the Twin Towers were still burning in the background. The real shocker was when she told me my salary is our money but hers is only hers...
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7points
For a lot of folks, feeling regretful about marrying their spouse can truly feel like the beginning of the end. In some cases, if one’s partner is toxic, it might be best to leave that relationship, but if that isn’t what’s happening, there may be room to actually work on the bond.
Do you think a marriage can be saved if one partner feels regretful? We’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter, and any personal anecdotes you might have as well.
#25
Way too long after I discovered she was having an emotional affair with a coworker.
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7points
#26
When she wouldn't stop getting sloppy drunk and kept getting fired.
7points
#27
I was engaged, so luckily i wasn't married. It was to my hs girlfriend of 3 and a half years at 20 like an idiot and found out she was cheating with her ex bf on a few occasions. I found out specifically a few weeks after the fact when he texted her about it while she was sleeping right next to me at 3 in the morning. The funny part is the particular instance was a day we were supposed to go to a concert together but she said one of her female friends wanted to go and it ended up being him and she slept with him that night afterwards smh. I'd see her text him and always felt I was just being insecure and I told her once and she said he didn't mean anything lol.
My most recent exgf insisted she was over her ex to date me, We dated for a few months while she texted him everyday saying she was over him, got pregnant by me and aborted it so she could go back to him and strung me along until he finally took her back
Those are pretty good indications
My most recent exgf insisted she was over her ex to date me, We dated for a few months while she texted him everyday saying she was over him, got pregnant by me and aborted it so she could go back to him and strung me along until he finally took her back
Those are pretty good indications
7points
#28
I knew I was in trouble when she spent our entire courtship saying how she always wanted to be a housewife, how she admired old-fashioned stay-at-home moms and how she'd keep a good house so I could work hard without having to worry.
Then I'd get home from work and find she'd done nothing besides watch true crime shows on A&E...and once she got World of Warcraft, it was a gender-swapped version of the story every woman has ever told me on a first date about her loser ex "all he ever did was sit around and play video games."
And once the Great Recession hit and I ended up out of work and she had to get a job to help support us? Oh, she acted like I was the worst, most useless person she'd ever met. In 2009. When unemployment in Washoe County, Nevada (where we lived, in Reno) was over 15 percent and nobody was doing well.
I went back to college both to ride out the storm and to position myself for something better when the recession blew over. She asked for a divorce.
To be perfectly blunt, I was less heartbroken and more relieved.
Then I'd get home from work and find she'd done nothing besides watch true crime shows on A&E...and once she got World of Warcraft, it was a gender-swapped version of the story every woman has ever told me on a first date about her loser ex "all he ever did was sit around and play video games."
And once the Great Recession hit and I ended up out of work and she had to get a job to help support us? Oh, she acted like I was the worst, most useless person she'd ever met. In 2009. When unemployment in Washoe County, Nevada (where we lived, in Reno) was over 15 percent and nobody was doing well.
I went back to college both to ride out the storm and to position myself for something better when the recession blew over. She asked for a divorce.
To be perfectly blunt, I was less heartbroken and more relieved.
7points
#29
When she started trying to turn me into her housemate, rather than be my lover (literally as soon as we settled down together).
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7points
#30
When I discovered she did anything she wanted without any discussion. The final straw was when she wanted her friends with illegal substances and alcohol over her family. Thankfully divorce is legal.
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6points
#31
The 2nd day of our honeymoon.
24 years of narcissistic mistreatment and clinical celibacy.
24 years of narcissistic mistreatment and clinical celibacy.
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6points
#32
Shortly after starting therapy and realizing that marrying ANYONE before beginning the process of healing myself would've been a mistake. We are now one year divorced and both with more peace than we ever had together.
Do the work fellas 🙏🏾.
Do the work fellas 🙏🏾.
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6points
#33
When her theatre teacher sent me a text explaining how I didn’t deserve her. I’d already bought the engagement ring . . . and I still proposed . . . I am no longer a complete idiot . . . I am divorced.
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6points
#34
There won’t be one sign, there will be many signs, and you will likely ignore them because you are still learning about yourself and what you want.
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6points
#35
3 weeks before the wedding when she started showing her true colors.
I chalked it up to cold feet and wedding nerves.
Should have gone with my gut. Would have saved me a decade of healing.
I chalked it up to cold feet and wedding nerves.
Should have gone with my gut. Would have saved me a decade of healing.
6points
#36
About two years in. She didn’t actually enjoy my lifestyle or friends just pretended she did to keep me happy. That wore off and turned into resentment that I wasn’t turning into the man she hoped I’d be.
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6points
#38
Before we got married. She always told me that she didn’t want to get married. I just should have listened. That’s on me. .
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4points
#39
Before we were dating she promised she would quit smoking and also get her excessive use of alcohol under control. I could actually tell quite a few stories about the weekend of my wedding, but let's just say that was some 30 years ago and she still is smoking and drinking heavily today.
This doesn't make her a bad woman. It just means we were not compatible for each other. I knew that was going on, and I made the mistake of giving her the benefit of the doubt.
This doesn't make her a bad woman. It just means we were not compatible for each other. I knew that was going on, and I made the mistake of giving her the benefit of the doubt.
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4points
#40
The first night she scratched and clawed me so much she ripped my shirt off. Probably shoulda been my sign.
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4points
