Why is it that the people we love the most are also the people who seem to cause us the most pain? In healthy relationships, our romantic partners, best friends and family members can make us feel safer and warmer than anyone else on Earth. But unfortunately, our loved ones are also capable of exhibiting toxic behaviors that can be detrimental to our wellbeing.
Reddit users have recently been calling out common actions and traits that many people don’t realize can be abusive, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. We hope you can’t relate to experiencing these behaviors, pandas, but if you can, know that you’re not alone. And be sure to upvote the replies that you think everyone needs to hear.
#21
It doesn't have to be violence, it's the implication that something bad will happen if you don't comply. Agreeing to pay for your kids college and pulling the rug out from under them over something petty like a political disagreement is abuse.
I left home to go to college. I was going to work and save up a decent amount of money and wait a year but I was told to not worry about it. I went and within a few months we had a disagreement and they stopped helping at all. I'm halfway through a semester at that point and don't have a job or rent. The landlord was cool and gave me time to catch up.
I racked up a ton of credit card debt during this time. My parents were not hurting for money. I never would have done it if my dad didn't tell me not to worry about it.
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87points
#22
Showing favoritism - family related. Not by directly saying "I prefer x over y" but by the little comments, actions/inactions. It can really mess with someone's self esteem, confidence, and overall thoughts of self and self worth.
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84points
#23
Continuing certain behavior after the person you are affecting has (repeatedly) asked you to stop.
*But-I’m-Not-Touching-You*-ism is a short route to abusive behavior.
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75points
#24
Manipulation under the guise of caring for what happens to you
74points
#25
Harnessing therapy speak to absolve oneself of accountability
74points
#26
Comparing one child to another,cousin or friends. Why can’t you be more like them. It’s so toxic.
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74points
#27
Uploading your childrens videos to youtube for fame.
Im looking at you, Pinnay and Brazillian mothers.
Theres wayyyy too many videos of girls doing trendy pool stuff in YT that get scavenged by weird men.
69points
#28
My favorite type that I seem to gravitate toward.
Telling people their emotional response is invalid or they shouldn't feel a certain way.
By all the pantheons, I always find people that love pushing that into my brain, from parents to dating.
Your emotions are yours. You have them for a reason.
That doesn't give you the right to use them to hurt others, but you're allowed to feel.
I wish younger me understood that.
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67points
#30
Gatekeeping hygiene and not teaching your child about normal hygiene and personal care. I didn’t even realize it was a common thing with narcissistic parents until recently.
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62points
