When we’re kids, friendships form naturally and without much effort. Your best friends are often the people you spend most of your time with: neighbors, classmates, your parents’ friends’ kids, etc. But as we grow up, we realize that having a friend for life is no walk in the park: friendship is like a flower you have to tend, water, and protect from pests.
In a 2021 CBS News poll, one in 10 Americans said they have known their best friend for 50 or more years, so those kinds of friendships do exist, albeit rarely. In many cases, though, our friendships end, and many different things can cause that rift.
In one recent online thread, a netizen asked people to share their stories, writing, “What happened to the friend you thought you'd have for the rest of your life?” Get ready for some heartbreaking stories involving ghosting, betrayal, and hardships that led to best friends growing apart.
#41
He joined a cult and then stopped talking to anyone not Jewish, sadly including me.
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4points
#42
His wife (who introduced my fiance and I initially) went off the rails for some reason and started telling other friend groups how my fiance and I were spreading rumors that they were cheating on each other.
It’s like she just wanted to destroy my fiance and I’s relationship.
She legit cornered my friends at a social engagement and told them hon my finance was this awful person and spreading lies.
Then did the same thing to my fiances friend group, but that I was spreading the lies.
My buddy said he had to trust his wife (even though he witnessed and acknowledged the lying).
So yeah we don’t talk anymore.
It’s like she just wanted to destroy my fiance and I’s relationship.
She legit cornered my friends at a social engagement and told them hon my finance was this awful person and spreading lies.
Then did the same thing to my fiances friend group, but that I was spreading the lies.
My buddy said he had to trust his wife (even though he witnessed and acknowledged the lying).
So yeah we don’t talk anymore.
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4points
#43
I have two to speak of. Both started out as childhood friends.
The first, I knew as young as 5-6 years old. My family actually lived in the house he grew up in until I was a few months old. We used to do everything together over the years.
Fast forward to high school, he started changing. He turned from friend to bully, particularly making fun of medical issues I had as a result of getting t-boned off a mountain bike by an SUV when I was 15. Due to other extenuating issues (parents divorcing, homelessness, other medical issues), I ended up dropping out of school altogether not long after the penultimate incident.
Fast forward 2+ decades, I get a message from him out of the blue on FB. He messaged to apologize for how he acted and asked for forgiveness. I did a bit of digging, it looked like he had hit the bottle HARD over the years (and possibly other things) which could explain how he changed so much as a teen as well. I figured he was in some sort of 12 Step program, so I sent a three word response:
"I forgive you."
He never responded. Never heard from him again.
-
While the first story was sad, the second is infuriating.
During the second half of my still-friendship with the first, the second came into the picture. We were even tighter, hanging out and doing tons of things together all the way into our 20s and even parts of 30s.
His actions that ended the friendship, I could never have imagined would happen if I didn't see it for myself.
In 2017, I got married. He was living across the country and flew in as I asked him to be a groomsman. Money was tight for him, so I even covered the cost of his tux rental. All seemed to go well at the time.
Fast forward a few years. Apparently he had been texting back and forth with my wife, which on the surface I didn't think twice about as she did so with several of my pre-marriage friends. This one, however, had taken to propositioning her to fly across the country, solo, to have an affair with him (mind you, he is/was ALSO married!) I was speechless when she showed me the texts.
I did the only thing I could: I took screenshots, sent them to HIS wife, told him to go touch himself with a telephone pole wrapped in 20 grit, then blocked them both. That idiot threw away a friendship of over 35 years with his actions.
If I ever happen to run into him in the future, I'm still going to clock him so hard that he'll be a front page feature on /r/LooneyToonPhysics.
The first, I knew as young as 5-6 years old. My family actually lived in the house he grew up in until I was a few months old. We used to do everything together over the years.
Fast forward to high school, he started changing. He turned from friend to bully, particularly making fun of medical issues I had as a result of getting t-boned off a mountain bike by an SUV when I was 15. Due to other extenuating issues (parents divorcing, homelessness, other medical issues), I ended up dropping out of school altogether not long after the penultimate incident.
Fast forward 2+ decades, I get a message from him out of the blue on FB. He messaged to apologize for how he acted and asked for forgiveness. I did a bit of digging, it looked like he had hit the bottle HARD over the years (and possibly other things) which could explain how he changed so much as a teen as well. I figured he was in some sort of 12 Step program, so I sent a three word response:
"I forgive you."
He never responded. Never heard from him again.
-
While the first story was sad, the second is infuriating.
During the second half of my still-friendship with the first, the second came into the picture. We were even tighter, hanging out and doing tons of things together all the way into our 20s and even parts of 30s.
His actions that ended the friendship, I could never have imagined would happen if I didn't see it for myself.
In 2017, I got married. He was living across the country and flew in as I asked him to be a groomsman. Money was tight for him, so I even covered the cost of his tux rental. All seemed to go well at the time.
Fast forward a few years. Apparently he had been texting back and forth with my wife, which on the surface I didn't think twice about as she did so with several of my pre-marriage friends. This one, however, had taken to propositioning her to fly across the country, solo, to have an affair with him (mind you, he is/was ALSO married!) I was speechless when she showed me the texts.
I did the only thing I could: I took screenshots, sent them to HIS wife, told him to go touch himself with a telephone pole wrapped in 20 grit, then blocked them both. That idiot threw away a friendship of over 35 years with his actions.
If I ever happen to run into him in the future, I'm still going to clock him so hard that he'll be a front page feature on /r/LooneyToonPhysics.
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4points
#44
Driving home from court after making the marriage split official, she calls me to tell me that she and my best friend (who was best man at our wedding) are dating. Haven't spoken to either of them since, it put a massive divide in our friend group.
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4points
#45
We decided to live together.....
most people probably already know thats enough lol. (never live with your best friend. The odds are not in your favour)
But basically, my gf at the time had a "best friend" this BF was ***awful*** she lied ***constantly*** like breathing, was rude, annoying, couldn't pick up on hints, stole, etc. etc.
but regardless, she was her bf so I tolerated her.
My best friend slept around constantly. He'd sleep with anything that moved.
My GF asked him if he could please just refrain from sleeping with this one woman. All her other friends are fair game, but not this one.
....so of course they started sleeping together.
which turned into her being around ***constantly***, whether he was home or not, she'd always be in the apartment. It was infuriating. Especially because of the theft problem.
eventually we decided to move out and get our own places.
We decided we'd each help each other get the big stuff out, then we'd clean the apartment. We smoked inside so we had to scrub all the walls and stuff.
I helped him load up all his big stuff. But the truck was just a 2-seater, so he told me and my gf to hang back, while he and his unloaded their load. then we'd move my big stuff, and clean.
........he just never came back.
we talked a little after that. I was pissed. held a grudge for a year or so.
but he kept dating her in the most toxic, on/off relationship I've ever seen.
we drifted apart.
last straw was when I found out he got married and never even told me about it.
I decided at that point, we were no longer friends and moved on. We still talk on christmases because all my friends do a group video chat. but we don't talk in between anymore.
------
hes a fitness instructor now. Still lives back in my hometown. He's had 4-5 wives now at this point. and he's about to divorce another.
most people probably already know thats enough lol. (never live with your best friend. The odds are not in your favour)
But basically, my gf at the time had a "best friend" this BF was ***awful*** she lied ***constantly*** like breathing, was rude, annoying, couldn't pick up on hints, stole, etc. etc.
but regardless, she was her bf so I tolerated her.
My best friend slept around constantly. He'd sleep with anything that moved.
My GF asked him if he could please just refrain from sleeping with this one woman. All her other friends are fair game, but not this one.
....so of course they started sleeping together.
which turned into her being around ***constantly***, whether he was home or not, she'd always be in the apartment. It was infuriating. Especially because of the theft problem.
eventually we decided to move out and get our own places.
We decided we'd each help each other get the big stuff out, then we'd clean the apartment. We smoked inside so we had to scrub all the walls and stuff.
I helped him load up all his big stuff. But the truck was just a 2-seater, so he told me and my gf to hang back, while he and his unloaded their load. then we'd move my big stuff, and clean.
........he just never came back.
we talked a little after that. I was pissed. held a grudge for a year or so.
but he kept dating her in the most toxic, on/off relationship I've ever seen.
we drifted apart.
last straw was when I found out he got married and never even told me about it.
I decided at that point, we were no longer friends and moved on. We still talk on christmases because all my friends do a group video chat. but we don't talk in between anymore.
------
hes a fitness instructor now. Still lives back in my hometown. He's had 4-5 wives now at this point. and he's about to divorce another.
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4points
#46
Turns out narcissists are almost impossible to identify as 13 year olds but substantially easier once you hit your 30s. It was like she was mentally stuck in the selfishness you'd expect from a teenager but as a full-blown adult. She expected concessions made to her that one would make for a growing/learning child, and would expect you to routinely be the adult in situations when they get to be the child. Like for example if something was wrong with her order at a restaurant she would expect you to take care of that for her so they don't get seen as "a jerk", but then when hanging out would say very mean things to you and backhanded compliments, or she would praise themselves in a way that elevates themselves but then insults you.
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4points
#47
They grew up. I didn’t. I have since, and tried to bring things back together. But it’s so different now. 100% my fault.
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4points
#48
Was just never noticed by 'em at the end of the day. Would plan everything, help them with their problems, and build a wall of texts over the months that would always go unanswered.
Last thing I planned was a get together to see No Way Home. They brought all their new friends, and I realized I was more of a spectator than a friend to him. Always was.
Last I heard all his college friends stopped talking to him after graduation. While I have a great group of friends from college (and a single great one from highschool still lol) who talk to me just as much as I talk to them.
Last thing I planned was a get together to see No Way Home. They brought all their new friends, and I realized I was more of a spectator than a friend to him. Always was.
Last I heard all his college friends stopped talking to him after graduation. While I have a great group of friends from college (and a single great one from highschool still lol) who talk to me just as much as I talk to them.
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4points
#49
She ghosted me after I slept with the best friend of her boyfriend. Apparently she was secretly in love with her bf's best friend. After telling me this, she told me I was not allowed to tell anyone, and also not allowed to see him anymore. I disagreed.
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4points
#50
I don’t know what he is up to right now. We would argue once a year over something dumb and he would go nuclear, blocking me everywhere and telling me we will never speak again.
Then at the end of every year his mom would bring us together or he reaches out. This happened like five times and I realized I need friends that I can rely on being there, this guy could block me at any moment and stop talking for long time so I had to cut him off for good, for more stable friendships.
Then at the end of every year his mom would bring us together or he reaches out. This happened like five times and I realized I need friends that I can rely on being there, this guy could block me at any moment and stop talking for long time so I had to cut him off for good, for more stable friendships.
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#51
Was friends with a dude from the time we were in pre-school up until the end of high-school. Then never heard from them again, neither of us ever reached out etc.
Low-key kinda hurts because that's the type of friendship you would want as an old person in their 80+'s "remember that time as kids" type talks.
Low-key kinda hurts because that's the type of friendship you would want as an old person in their 80+'s "remember that time as kids" type talks.
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4points
#52
She got scratched by her own dog. It quickly progressed into Sepsis and was gone 2 days later.
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3points
#53
She passed away last month after a courageous battle with colon cancer. Still unsure how to live life without her.
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3points
#54
They left my life. My alcoholic self ruined many relationships. Best I can do now is to make sure it doesn’t happen again by staying sober.
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3points
#55
TL,DR: Moved, lost touch, got back in touch but he has dementia.
We met 54 years ago, both had just turned 20, shared three or four rental houses at different times in those first 10 years, and hung out together a lot. We had some fun, and he helped me out a few times. Once when I had a business conflict and was getting scammed, he stepped up and bullied the franchise owner into letting me out of the contract, and another time when I was unemployed he sold me a car for $50 (I had that car for three years). I always took him along when I was buying cars (I've had many), because he had the gift of the gab and was always able to get me a great deal.
About 27 years ago, his girlfriend got pregnant, had the baby and he seemed ok with it. One day I was visiting while she was out, and he confided in me that he was going to get a DNA test to be sure the child was his.
Idk why he thought she might have been with someone else, but he was the jealous type; he once said he "knew" that I had been sleeping with his former girlfriend - he was wrong.
Anyway, after him telling about the DNA test I distanced myself from him, and then I lost touch after I moved to another state for my work. Neither of us had mobile phones back then.
One day about 22 years ago, I bumped into his former girlfriend (the one he thought I was cheating on him with) who had also moved to my new city, and she told me he had hurt her a couple of times.
Three years ago, I saw his brother on Facebook and made contact. He told me my former friend was in hospital due to not taking his meds for diabetes, and the reason he wasn't taking them was because he had dementia.
I called him when his brother told me he was well enough to talk, and we had a short conversation, but after a while he wasn't making a lot of sense.
I happened to be going to that city later that month, and decided to visit him with some photos in the rest home he had been moved to. When I got there, they told me his now adult daughter had moved him to a home in the state where she lived just a few days previously.
I called him a couple of times but he didn't answer, and I messaged him the pictures, but didn't get a reply. His daughter told me had had forgotten how to use a phone, and to charge it. A while ago, I called the home's landline and they put me through to him, but he didn't reply to anything I said. His brother told me they are medicating him because he was getting aggressive with the staff and other residents.
Sad, really, that he has deteriorated so badly.
But I'm not really sad about losing the friendship, in spite of the times we shared. I think I liked him back then because he had so much self confidence, and when I was younger that was something I was lacking. None of my girlfriends liked him. In actual fact he was a jerk.
We met 54 years ago, both had just turned 20, shared three or four rental houses at different times in those first 10 years, and hung out together a lot. We had some fun, and he helped me out a few times. Once when I had a business conflict and was getting scammed, he stepped up and bullied the franchise owner into letting me out of the contract, and another time when I was unemployed he sold me a car for $50 (I had that car for three years). I always took him along when I was buying cars (I've had many), because he had the gift of the gab and was always able to get me a great deal.
About 27 years ago, his girlfriend got pregnant, had the baby and he seemed ok with it. One day I was visiting while she was out, and he confided in me that he was going to get a DNA test to be sure the child was his.
Idk why he thought she might have been with someone else, but he was the jealous type; he once said he "knew" that I had been sleeping with his former girlfriend - he was wrong.
Anyway, after him telling about the DNA test I distanced myself from him, and then I lost touch after I moved to another state for my work. Neither of us had mobile phones back then.
One day about 22 years ago, I bumped into his former girlfriend (the one he thought I was cheating on him with) who had also moved to my new city, and she told me he had hurt her a couple of times.
Three years ago, I saw his brother on Facebook and made contact. He told me my former friend was in hospital due to not taking his meds for diabetes, and the reason he wasn't taking them was because he had dementia.
I called him when his brother told me he was well enough to talk, and we had a short conversation, but after a while he wasn't making a lot of sense.
I happened to be going to that city later that month, and decided to visit him with some photos in the rest home he had been moved to. When I got there, they told me his now adult daughter had moved him to a home in the state where she lived just a few days previously.
I called him a couple of times but he didn't answer, and I messaged him the pictures, but didn't get a reply. His daughter told me had had forgotten how to use a phone, and to charge it. A while ago, I called the home's landline and they put me through to him, but he didn't reply to anything I said. His brother told me they are medicating him because he was getting aggressive with the staff and other residents.
Sad, really, that he has deteriorated so badly.
But I'm not really sad about losing the friendship, in spite of the times we shared. I think I liked him back then because he had so much self confidence, and when I was younger that was something I was lacking. None of my girlfriends liked him. In actual fact he was a jerk.
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3points
#56
I had a childhood best friend (second grade) that i was super tight with. her nieces called me auntie, we called each other's moms "mom," we went on each other's family roadtrips, vacationed together, etc. i was at her side when her dad died from alcoholism and when she had to get an abortion. she knew all of the stuff that had gone down with my family's legal issues. our lives had been entwined so much that it really did feel like we would always be in each other's lives.
at the end of the friendship, we didn't see each other much because of covid and distance, but we still talked every day. i told her when i started dating a guy from the south (i'm from the north) and talk to her about it because that was just what we did.
a few years ago, a mutual friend of ours messaged me asking how i could let him be around a racist, let alone date one, and that my supposed "best friend" had been telling him for months that my then-boyfriend was racist because he was from the south and spoke positively about a town she had never been to but was convinced to be full of active klan members. again, we're all from the north and had never been to the part of the south my then-boyfriend was from. the mutual friend told me then that my friend had also done illegal substances the night she told him and had been doing it since covid started. i tried talking to my best friend about it because what the actual f right? but she refused to apologize and said she had done the right thing by saying this stuff to our mutual friend.
i blocked her, am now super-tight with the mutual friend (who no longer speaks to her either), and have moved to the south to live with my now-husband and our three cats. :).
at the end of the friendship, we didn't see each other much because of covid and distance, but we still talked every day. i told her when i started dating a guy from the south (i'm from the north) and talk to her about it because that was just what we did.
a few years ago, a mutual friend of ours messaged me asking how i could let him be around a racist, let alone date one, and that my supposed "best friend" had been telling him for months that my then-boyfriend was racist because he was from the south and spoke positively about a town she had never been to but was convinced to be full of active klan members. again, we're all from the north and had never been to the part of the south my then-boyfriend was from. the mutual friend told me then that my friend had also done illegal substances the night she told him and had been doing it since covid started. i tried talking to my best friend about it because what the actual f right? but she refused to apologize and said she had done the right thing by saying this stuff to our mutual friend.
i blocked her, am now super-tight with the mutual friend (who no longer speaks to her either), and have moved to the south to live with my now-husband and our three cats. :).
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3points
#57
Invited me to his wedding with his new girlfriend. Then called about a month out and said the wedding was cancelled. Then he disappeared.
I found out years later he was arrested for sleeping with a student. So, yeah, we don't hangout anymore.
I found out years later he was arrested for sleeping with a student. So, yeah, we don't hangout anymore.
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#58
He got married to a Chinese girl and moved there. We stayed in touch, so no real issues in my mind. Hr wa happy and that was what was important.
Then a month ago we were at his grandads birthday. I didn't find out he was in the country, let alone in town, untill I arrived there. Then I heard that he made time to hang out with some other friends before hand. That hurt, but I'd get over it.
He then largely ignored me, and when I finally pinned hi. Down with a conversation about comic books, he ends up derailing into a rant against trans people and in defense of Rowling.
After that, I'm not really looking to maintain that friendship anymore.
Then a month ago we were at his grandads birthday. I didn't find out he was in the country, let alone in town, untill I arrived there. Then I heard that he made time to hang out with some other friends before hand. That hurt, but I'd get over it.
He then largely ignored me, and when I finally pinned hi. Down with a conversation about comic books, he ends up derailing into a rant against trans people and in defense of Rowling.
After that, I'm not really looking to maintain that friendship anymore.
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3points
#59
His dad got caught with CSAM so his reaction was to find God and cut out the negative influences (anyone not in his evangelical cult) out of his life.
What annoys me the most is that if he called me today and said he needed help I’d be there in a heartbeat.
What annoys me the most is that if he called me today and said he needed help I’d be there in a heartbeat.
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3points
#60
He came over on January 28th if this year. I got a call from his wife that he passed away on February 26th.
I’m still processing the events.
I’m still processing the events.
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3points
