When we’re kids, friendships form naturally and without much effort. Your best friends are often the people you spend most of your time with: neighbors, classmates, your parents’ friends’ kids, etc. But as we grow up, we realize that having a friend for life is no walk in the park: friendship is like a flower you have to tend, water, and protect from pests.
In a 2021 CBS News poll, one in 10 Americans said they have known their best friend for 50 or more years, so those kinds of friendships do exist, albeit rarely. In many cases, though, our friendships end, and many different things can cause that rift.
In one recent online thread, a netizen asked people to share their stories, writing, “What happened to the friend you thought you'd have for the rest of your life?” Get ready for some heartbreaking stories involving ghosting, betrayal, and hardships that led to best friends growing apart.
#21
Threw me under the bus for decades without me knowing it to make himself look better among our close friends & old high school group and started blaming me for his life problems. I just stopped reaching out and giving myself space to figure out everything.
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6points
#22
Oh, this friendship just recently ended!
We were best friends since sixth grade. He helped me feel free to be myself. In college, we would drive to each others’ towns to see each others’ concerts or performances. Our friend group stuck together no matter what and were constantly talking. He was even one of my groomsmen. My wife and I were the first people he and his girlfriend told about their engagement.
And then he moved across the country to get his Master’s degree.
The second he left town, he almost completely stopped talking to the rest of us. He even stopped talking to his fiancée, who didn’t move up with him (the plan had been for them to be long distance while she stayed home and he rushed through his program). The two of them eventually started working through the distance until one day he told her she had to move in with him. She said she wasn’t sure, since they were still working through things, but he said “move in with me or you’re never hearing from me again.”
She did, and things were fine at first. Better, even. The two of them spent time together. He even texted me back for the first time since moving, and HE planned a time to hop on a game online. The day came… and he never got online. It’s been a year and I’ve still never heard from him.
Around that time last year, he changed majors and got a new group of friends. He completely stopped paying attention to his fiancée and fully dropped the rest of us back home (she even asked if he had texted us in a while and he said “I’m in [state] and they’re not. Why would I talk to them?”). He started hanging out with one girl in his new friend group a LOT, even bringing her along with him and his fiancée when looking at new apartments. His fiancée said he wasn’t cheating, but I think this is denial.
Anyway, the two of them fought and stopped talking for a little bit, then right after they started trying to make it work again, he said “we need to set our wedding date. We should make it as soon as possible.” She got nervous and said that she thought they should go to couple’s therapy first, and he got angry and told her he hadn’t loved her in two years (so, since around the time he proposed, and a year before he demanded that she move in with him), that she never knew “the real him,” and that all she ever did was make him angry. She collected her stuff and moved back home QUICK.
In her rush, she left some personal items in his apartment, including some clothes and a pearl necklace from her father. She asked if he could send it back and he said he wasn’t going to waste time mailing her “junk.” However, a couple days later, she saw on his Instagram that he was wearing her shirts and her dad’s pearl necklace. Furious, she texted him about it and he said he’d be blocking her “until he could figure out shipping costs.” A couple weeks later, he unblocked her to say he was “forgiving her for all of her manipulative behavior” and that he “didn’t hold any resentment,” but that he thought it’d be “better for the two of them to go no-contact.”
I don’t know what caused the quiet, sweet, quirky kid I grew up with to become such an absolute monster, especially since the rest of his family has always been so sweet to me. Illegal substances? Losing himself in the freedom of a new place? Was he always like this and I just never knew? Who knows. All I know is that fifteen years of friendship with him went down the drain once I found out how he’d been acting.
We were best friends since sixth grade. He helped me feel free to be myself. In college, we would drive to each others’ towns to see each others’ concerts or performances. Our friend group stuck together no matter what and were constantly talking. He was even one of my groomsmen. My wife and I were the first people he and his girlfriend told about their engagement.
And then he moved across the country to get his Master’s degree.
The second he left town, he almost completely stopped talking to the rest of us. He even stopped talking to his fiancée, who didn’t move up with him (the plan had been for them to be long distance while she stayed home and he rushed through his program). The two of them eventually started working through the distance until one day he told her she had to move in with him. She said she wasn’t sure, since they were still working through things, but he said “move in with me or you’re never hearing from me again.”
She did, and things were fine at first. Better, even. The two of them spent time together. He even texted me back for the first time since moving, and HE planned a time to hop on a game online. The day came… and he never got online. It’s been a year and I’ve still never heard from him.
Around that time last year, he changed majors and got a new group of friends. He completely stopped paying attention to his fiancée and fully dropped the rest of us back home (she even asked if he had texted us in a while and he said “I’m in [state] and they’re not. Why would I talk to them?”). He started hanging out with one girl in his new friend group a LOT, even bringing her along with him and his fiancée when looking at new apartments. His fiancée said he wasn’t cheating, but I think this is denial.
Anyway, the two of them fought and stopped talking for a little bit, then right after they started trying to make it work again, he said “we need to set our wedding date. We should make it as soon as possible.” She got nervous and said that she thought they should go to couple’s therapy first, and he got angry and told her he hadn’t loved her in two years (so, since around the time he proposed, and a year before he demanded that she move in with him), that she never knew “the real him,” and that all she ever did was make him angry. She collected her stuff and moved back home QUICK.
In her rush, she left some personal items in his apartment, including some clothes and a pearl necklace from her father. She asked if he could send it back and he said he wasn’t going to waste time mailing her “junk.” However, a couple days later, she saw on his Instagram that he was wearing her shirts and her dad’s pearl necklace. Furious, she texted him about it and he said he’d be blocking her “until he could figure out shipping costs.” A couple weeks later, he unblocked her to say he was “forgiving her for all of her manipulative behavior” and that he “didn’t hold any resentment,” but that he thought it’d be “better for the two of them to go no-contact.”
I don’t know what caused the quiet, sweet, quirky kid I grew up with to become such an absolute monster, especially since the rest of his family has always been so sweet to me. Illegal substances? Losing himself in the freedom of a new place? Was he always like this and I just never knew? Who knows. All I know is that fifteen years of friendship with him went down the drain once I found out how he’d been acting.
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6points
#23
Best friend from college and we went on multiple trips to see each other and different locations (we don’t live in the same area). The kind of friendship that might go 2 months without a text and then suddenly you’re texting all day catching up. We tried to plan at least one long trip a year to really hang out but we’re content with texts and calls in between.
They just decided to never answer me again despite a few attempts over a month or two and I reached out to their boyfriend (who I was also friends with) just saying I know she might be busy but I was worried about the lack of response and if they were too busy to chat, I understand.
The reason I was concerned was one of our last chats was about their mental health and how they weren’t doing well.
Apparently that’s psycho behavior and I am to never contact them again. 15 years of friendship just down the drain.
They just decided to never answer me again despite a few attempts over a month or two and I reached out to their boyfriend (who I was also friends with) just saying I know she might be busy but I was worried about the lack of response and if they were too busy to chat, I understand.
The reason I was concerned was one of our last chats was about their mental health and how they weren’t doing well.
Apparently that’s psycho behavior and I am to never contact them again. 15 years of friendship just down the drain.
6points
#24
He woke up one day and decided not to be my friend anymore. It has eternally messed me up, because I thought we'd be a part of each other's lives forever.
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6points
#25
Her boyfriend violently attacked me when I got between them and she said it was her right to date bad guys.
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5points
#26
High school ended and we didn't stay in touch. Tried to at first, but then I think we just got busy.
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5points
#27
I told him 'hey many my girl doesn't like large crowds when she doesn't know most people there, we should hang just two couples a few times' he said that was cool and then when we showed up there was literally a party of 30 people there and he just shrugged and said he thought it'd be fine once we were already there.
Then I recognized the pattern of - every time I suggested something he just ignored it and did whatever he wanted anyway.
It all came to a head when the new Tears of the kingdom game came out. I invited him over to check it out since he didn't have it and he flipped it into me packing up my stuff and coming to his house to play it and then suddenly he was inviting six other people over and they were gonna bring their playstations too and we could play call of duty instead.
I just said 'sounds cool' and didn't show up and when he asked me about it I replayed the entire conversation and he just said 'yeah but mike was bored and wanted to play CoD and that sounded more fun for everyone'.
Then I recognized the pattern of - every time I suggested something he just ignored it and did whatever he wanted anyway.
It all came to a head when the new Tears of the kingdom game came out. I invited him over to check it out since he didn't have it and he flipped it into me packing up my stuff and coming to his house to play it and then suddenly he was inviting six other people over and they were gonna bring their playstations too and we could play call of duty instead.
I just said 'sounds cool' and didn't show up and when he asked me about it I replayed the entire conversation and he just said 'yeah but mike was bored and wanted to play CoD and that sounded more fun for everyone'.
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5points
#28
I got depressed in my teens and gradually drifted away from him and everyone else.
It got worse into my 20’s. I watched everyone move on with girlfriends, jobs, kids and homes while I self-loathed almost into my 30’s.
I’m in my mid 40’s now and have struggled to fully reconnect or make any new friends. I’m still included in all these old friend circles but like one foot in and one foot out. Present but not really there, if that makes sense.
I want it but I don’t want it. I go to work and my social battery is drained and anything else feels like to much work.
It’s me. I’m the problem.
It got worse into my 20’s. I watched everyone move on with girlfriends, jobs, kids and homes while I self-loathed almost into my 30’s.
I’m in my mid 40’s now and have struggled to fully reconnect or make any new friends. I’m still included in all these old friend circles but like one foot in and one foot out. Present but not really there, if that makes sense.
I want it but I don’t want it. I go to work and my social battery is drained and anything else feels like to much work.
It’s me. I’m the problem.
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5points
#29
He was in a homeless shelter in Springfield, IL (I'm in Chicago) three months ago & his phone is disconnected now. I'm worried about him.
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5points
#30
Gradual fade out. Will never know why. We were close for years, always had good times together, even travelled together once. And now basically strangers.
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5points
#31
She became a super bridezilla. She kept bullying me to contribute more to the wedding even though I lived on the other side of the country and was in grad school at the time, so being a broke-a*s student, there was only so much I could do. She always rebutted, "Well, I'm in grad school too, and I'm having to plan this wedding!" 1. It's YOUR wedding. 2. She was taking ONE online class. I was a full-time grad student with an assistantship, so I was basically working full-time as well.
The final straw broke when her fiancee called me to yell at me for being unsupportive. I was literally half asleep when he called because I had barely slept in days. Then, everything started to connect -- all the times she guilted me into flying to visit her, while she visited me once and complained about it the whole time; the time I flew to visit her, and she ghosted me for hours to go have phone intimacy with her long-distance boyfriend; the time I visited her, and she got lost all day, and I had to scrounge around in her kitchen for something to eat because I was starving. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
I was bullied and friendless growing up, but after that phone call from her fiancee, I finally realized that I didn't have to put up with this nonesense anymore, and I called it quits. It was honestly a relief. The last I heard, her fiancee/husband came out and left her for a man, and she started self-publishing her fan fiction through Amazon.
The final straw broke when her fiancee called me to yell at me for being unsupportive. I was literally half asleep when he called because I had barely slept in days. Then, everything started to connect -- all the times she guilted me into flying to visit her, while she visited me once and complained about it the whole time; the time I flew to visit her, and she ghosted me for hours to go have phone intimacy with her long-distance boyfriend; the time I visited her, and she got lost all day, and I had to scrounge around in her kitchen for something to eat because I was starving. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
I was bullied and friendless growing up, but after that phone call from her fiancee, I finally realized that I didn't have to put up with this nonesense anymore, and I called it quits. It was honestly a relief. The last I heard, her fiancee/husband came out and left her for a man, and she started self-publishing her fan fiction through Amazon.
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5points
#32
I had my first (and hopefully only) seizure at their house one evening. I asked at least 3 times to call the ambulance as I was in a disorienting state and couldn't figure it out for myself. They refused. It took hours of convincing until they drove me to the hospital.
Weeks after the seizure, I was trying to become healthy again, get back into working out, cutting out substances me and the best friend use to share together.
Best friend made back handed comments about how I shouldnt be bettering my life, how I'm small enough and don't need to go to the gym. Those comments combined with not calling the ambulance didn't sit well with me and I just kind of drifted away from the friendship.
Later on, realized the relationship was very controlling and that some really toxic comments were made by the best friend about me behind my back.
We were friends for about 5 years, they were my first friend out of highschool that I trusted right off the hop. We had a lot of good times together and I miss some of the moments. Its been almost 2 years no contact. I've wanted to reach out and explain my side but I don't want to reopen those wounds because they never reached out either.
Weeks after the seizure, I was trying to become healthy again, get back into working out, cutting out substances me and the best friend use to share together.
Best friend made back handed comments about how I shouldnt be bettering my life, how I'm small enough and don't need to go to the gym. Those comments combined with not calling the ambulance didn't sit well with me and I just kind of drifted away from the friendship.
Later on, realized the relationship was very controlling and that some really toxic comments were made by the best friend about me behind my back.
We were friends for about 5 years, they were my first friend out of highschool that I trusted right off the hop. We had a lot of good times together and I miss some of the moments. Its been almost 2 years no contact. I've wanted to reach out and explain my side but I don't want to reopen those wounds because they never reached out either.
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5points
#33
I pushed away the most Important man I've ever had in my life because he was too positive and my depression made me believe that I couldn't handle his positivity. He called me about 4 years ago for the last time, and I looked at the phone and literally thought not right now man. About 5 months later I was feeling better and reached out with a text inviting him over for dinner. About 10 days later my wife saw that he had passed away from cancer. My text had gotten to him while he was passing away in bed. I missed my last shot to speak to him. Im telling you it still hurts today. He was the one person other than my wife that i can say I owe my life to. He taught me how to think and approach challenges, gave me inspiration, and showed me what loving and giving freely meant. Reach out. You dont have forever.
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5points
#34
She decided to date my toxic brother knowing how he treated me for years… “but he’s nice to me” I’m still blown away by that comment.
I went no contact with both of them, they lasted barely a year. Last I heard she had to collect her things from his house while he was at work, and brought her dad for backup.
That was 5 years ago, and I’m still happily no contact with my brother. And I’ve just never heard from her again.
15 years of friendship, besties since elementary school, all tossed aside for a man with anger issues, a developing drinking problem, and a slob who lets mom do everything for him 👍.
I went no contact with both of them, they lasted barely a year. Last I heard she had to collect her things from his house while he was at work, and brought her dad for backup.
That was 5 years ago, and I’m still happily no contact with my brother. And I’ve just never heard from her again.
15 years of friendship, besties since elementary school, all tossed aside for a man with anger issues, a developing drinking problem, and a slob who lets mom do everything for him 👍.
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5points
#35
She got married during COVID lockdowns and still promised I'd be able to go and be a big part of her big day, which wasn't the case, I couldn't go, due to what I suspect is her controlling partner not liking me very much.
We stayed friends anyway after that, even though I was hurt, but as time went on I just felt less and less like I mattered. She'd come to me for advice but never seemed to actually listen to it and never seemed to want to chat to me for the sake of chatting. She ended up having kids while I've stayed childless and we just drifted apart, different life paths I suppose.
I still resent her husband to this day. I guess he won.
We stayed friends anyway after that, even though I was hurt, but as time went on I just felt less and less like I mattered. She'd come to me for advice but never seemed to actually listen to it and never seemed to want to chat to me for the sake of chatting. She ended up having kids while I've stayed childless and we just drifted apart, different life paths I suppose.
I still resent her husband to this day. I guess he won.
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5points
#36
I had an online gaming friend. I remember we met on the demo for battlefield bad company 2 and I rarely have my mic on but today I did. Said some ridiculous stuff he found funny and we had been gaming and chatting ever since.
This is one of the rare friends that you’d always be excited to play with or just chat with, make each other laugh and goofy stuff.
So that was roughly 2010 I was a junior in high school and he was too. We talked all the way up until around 2022 when I had a lot going on and he did too.
Last I remember he had moved somewhere in the US and kind of started a new life out here from PR where he was raised. I remember he gave me a new number to text him and I saved it and also had the old number too. Around that time I had sent messages to both numbers because I forgot which was new just to talk say hey and see what’s up, but nothing.
No replies, no activity logged on PlayStation, nothing on their socials, just like disappeared.
I just wonder what happened to him or if he decided to stop talking to me or what. Couldn’t say.
But if I could say something to him now it would be I miss you man and I hope you’ve been having a wonderful life. Hope to hear from you.
This is one of the rare friends that you’d always be excited to play with or just chat with, make each other laugh and goofy stuff.
So that was roughly 2010 I was a junior in high school and he was too. We talked all the way up until around 2022 when I had a lot going on and he did too.
Last I remember he had moved somewhere in the US and kind of started a new life out here from PR where he was raised. I remember he gave me a new number to text him and I saved it and also had the old number too. Around that time I had sent messages to both numbers because I forgot which was new just to talk say hey and see what’s up, but nothing.
No replies, no activity logged on PlayStation, nothing on their socials, just like disappeared.
I just wonder what happened to him or if he decided to stop talking to me or what. Couldn’t say.
But if I could say something to him now it would be I miss you man and I hope you’ve been having a wonderful life. Hope to hear from you.
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4points
#37
She fell deep into a pit of alcoholism, mental health issues, and (I suspect) other substances. I stuck around for a long time, but she refused to get the help she needed, and used me as a constant crisis counselor for the issues she wasn’t dealing with. She also completely stopped showing up as a friend to me while expecting me to be available at the drop of a hat. She even brought down all of the events leading up to my wedding.
It’s very sad, but the relationship was bringing me so much pain and anxiety, and I could no longer help someone who wouldn’t help themselves.
I so badly hope she gets better, but I have no interest in rekindling the friendship regardless. The damage done is just too much.
It’s very sad, but the relationship was bringing me so much pain and anxiety, and I could no longer help someone who wouldn’t help themselves.
I so badly hope she gets better, but I have no interest in rekindling the friendship regardless. The damage done is just too much.
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4points
#38
We were best friends from 12 to 30.
We pretty much did everything together. Family trips. First strip club together. First vegas trip.... pretty much told each other everything. I considered him my best friend.
Admittedly he was going through some stuff, and one day he just stopped returning my calls and texts. Totally ghosted.
I think he's got a fiancee now and has a career in tech or tech-adjacent. We're in our 40's now
Rich, where ever you are I hope you're doing well. I love you man and I miss you.
We pretty much did everything together. Family trips. First strip club together. First vegas trip.... pretty much told each other everything. I considered him my best friend.
Admittedly he was going through some stuff, and one day he just stopped returning my calls and texts. Totally ghosted.
I think he's got a fiancee now and has a career in tech or tech-adjacent. We're in our 40's now
Rich, where ever you are I hope you're doing well. I love you man and I miss you.
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4points
#40
Im am American who spent 10 of his formative years in Canada. A childhood friend of mine and I kept in contact after I moved to the us. I ended up joining the army and had a combat deployment. Was going to have him as a groomsman in my wedding even.
Kept in contact with the guy for years and was close until he told me it was my duty as a veteran to go to the capitol and make sure the election went the right way on Jan 6. I explained how that was a twisted understanding of what my oath was and that I didn't support military coups or some sort of revolution.
He responded by telling me I wasn't worthy of being a veteran and all sorts of crazy stuff. Cut him out of my life that night.
Tldr a Canadian childhood friend told me, a combat vet, I needed to be part of the group going to Jan 6 to protest the election and make sure it went to trump.
Kept in contact with the guy for years and was close until he told me it was my duty as a veteran to go to the capitol and make sure the election went the right way on Jan 6. I explained how that was a twisted understanding of what my oath was and that I didn't support military coups or some sort of revolution.
He responded by telling me I wasn't worthy of being a veteran and all sorts of crazy stuff. Cut him out of my life that night.
Tldr a Canadian childhood friend told me, a combat vet, I needed to be part of the group going to Jan 6 to protest the election and make sure it went to trump.
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4points
