People Share The Moments When They Realized Their Friend Is Not Their Friend Anymore

Drunkenly blamed my mother’s cancer on the Covid vaccine, on the day of her diagnosis. She used my family’s pain and fear to justify her conspiracy theory. Mom is fine now. I’ve been no contact with the friend for 4 years.

He got sick with MS and got to the point of needing some help around the house. Was swapping out a overhead light for him. Needed a screwdriver and went to his shed to find one. I entered and discovered my missing stuff going back 40 years. Pellet gun from when we were 12. All my stolen fishing gear. All my deceased father's tools from my garage that I thought someone broke in to get... 


Didn't even go back into the house. Just got in my car and left. Best friends from 8 years old to 50 years old. Never spoke another word to him.

She gave up a foster child when she got pregnant saying that she would rather just “deal with her real child”. I could never look at her the same after that.

My needy bff not taking a moment to listen after I went through a very violent and emotional trauma event. She talked about her husband not taking the trash bin to the curb.

So I kicked our friendship to the curb.

Covid. After 30 yrs of friendship She didn't accept that i got the vaccination because of her right wing blahblah.

When I was diagnosed with BC and scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy, she told me that she’d rather not live than have a mutilated body like that. This was in 2017, and we’d been best friends since 1981.

I became besties with a girl in third grade. Over the decades, we were so close that our families became enmeshed. Our parents, our siblings, everyone were like a big family because of the relationship my best friend and myself. The friendship ended abruptly in our late 30s.

For years, she would make jokes about how I wasn’t invited to her bat mitzvah back in seventh grade. Despite being besties, I didn’t know ANYTHING about her bat mitzvah until one Monday as we were getting dressed for gym class and a mutual friend walked over to the locker we shared. That person mentioned what a great time she’d had on Saturday, how good the food was and how fancy the country club was where this huge event took place.

My reaction was, basically, “HUH???”

I looked at my friend whose face had turned beet red. The other girl asked me why I didn’t come to the party, I said, “Um…I’m not sure.”

When she walked away my friend immediately explained that the invitations had been sent out months ago, right after we’d had a disagreement when we’d gone bowling. I actually had NO recollection of any such thing but I didn’t question it. Thirteen-year-old girls can be petty so it was possible that we’d had some sort of argument. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.

For many years, my friend made jokes about it, saying things like “Yum, this tastes like the appetizers we had at my bat mitzvah. Whoops. I forgot. You weren’t there.” Each time, I would laugh and say “Nope. I definitely wasn’t.” Once, in college, I made that sane joke about how I wasn’t in attendance at her big event but she snapped at me and told me stop joking about that. It seemed weird because SHE was the one who always made those jokes, not me. But…okay. No problem.

More years go by, we’re adults, we move to the same city on the opposite coast from where we grew up and we’re still besties. She asked me to be her maid of honor. I was thrilled. Her uncle was getting remarried a few months before her wedding. I went to the wedding and sat at one of the family’s reserved tables at the reception. Her mom was, clearly, tipsy when she comes over to where I’m sitting and asks if I’m having a good time. I said yes, of course, I was having a ball. Then she says, “So, do you, finally, forgive me for not allowing her to invite you to her bat mitzvah?”

I looked at her, quizzically, and said, “What? What do you mean?” Her mom’s mouth dropped open, indicating she realized she’d said something she shouldn’t have. I looked over at my friend who was avoiding eye contact with me. Finally, she said, “Okay, so now you know. My mom wouldn’t let me invite you because you’re black. She said you’d probably be uncomfortable there so it would be better if you didn’t come.”

I was very confused. While I was not Jewish, I grew up in neighborhood that was predominantly Jewish and, for quite a while during my teens, it felt like all I did was go to bar and bat mitzvahs on the weekends. Those were my classmates who invited me. Now, TWENTY FIVE YEARS LATER, I’m learning that the person who was closest to me on this planet not only hadn’t invited me because of my race but also invented an entire story to make me believe that somehow I’d played some sort of role in it. The bowling alley fight was a lie. A decade’s worth of jokes were created to reinforce this lie and brainwash me into believing it. Her mother, who I considered my second mom, was so afraid of having ME there at her synagogue, among her friends and relatives, that she blocked her daughter from inviting her best friend simply because of her skin color (yet, somehow, other kids who were Latino and Asian made the cut.)

I could feel tears start pouring down my face. I had to excuse myself so I could go cry in a bathroom stall. Truthfully, the bat mitzvah itself was not the worst part of it. IT’S THE QUARTER OF A CENTURY’S WORTH OF RELENTLESS LIES. Plus, finding out that her mom, who I was so close to, didn’t want me there. Why? Was she afraid I was going to steal someone’s purse or something? Did she believe having a little black girl there would decrease her social standing at the synagogue?

It took me an hour to get home. I cried the whole time. A few days later, I, finally, got a text from my friend. All it said was, “Why are you so mad? It was so long ago. It’s not like I could really tell you the real reason and make my mom look bad.” It felt like she was telling me I was being ridiculous and I should just get over it.

But the whole thing made me see everyone so differently after that. We just stopped talking after that. I tried to get her to just sit down with me and we could just talk it out. I wanted to express how I felt. She’d had 25 years to get comfortable with this whole thing. I’d had less than a week. But, via text, she told me she didn’t want to talk about anymore and we needed to move forward. (“Talk ANYMORE?? We still hadn’t talked AT ALL.)

Our friendship never recovered. My former friend shifted the blame, treating me like I was the one responsible for that, instead of her inability to sit down one-on-one and take accountability for the lies. My sister is still in touch with her. Her little brother is, occasionally, still in touch with me. But WE don’t have any contact with each other.

Asked him to be in my wedding 9 months in advance. He said he had to work.

We’re both photographers. I found my photos on his professional website with his watermark on them. He was trying to sell them as his own. I was done with him, forever.

The person I thought was my best friend never told me she was engaged - her fiance told me, a year after he asked, and was shocked I didn't know. I started paying attention to a lot more of how we interacted - I was always supporting her, checking in with her to see if she was good, etc.... it was one sided. She didn't care about if I was good, so I stopped caring too.

I was always there whenever they wanted to yap about their ahole boss or regarding anything but when I got really depressed and just wanted someone to talk to, they said I was acting and seeking attention. I stopped talking to them after that.

I let her bf live in our beautiful remodeled apartment rent free, allowed him to turn what was supposed to be our make up room into a gaming room, never complained about them taking up the common areas, washer dryer 24/7, kitchen. one day they woke me up at 2am fighting (hearing her sobbing and yelling at him to leave her alone and get out) after knowing i'm up at 6am for work. i kicked him out of the apartment and she took his side.

Nothing. We just don't talk anymore.

They meant more to me than I ever meant to them.

I wish we'd had a fight or something, honestly. It would hurt less.

I traveled 800 miles to hang out and he spent the entire time working on his busted computer .

I finally got pregnant after many, many years of infertility and IVF. She stopped talking to me because it was taking her over a year to have her third child and my pregnancy success was “ill-timed and rubbing it in her face.”.

I was always the Helper. The one who listened, the one who got called when they needed something built or furniture moved, the one who gave time, money, and sympathy any time it was needed.

The one and only time I was having a serious struggle and asked for help, I was told, quote, "I don't have time for your problems."

When I cut them out of my life, they told everyone I know that I was a horrible person.


I lost a LOT of people that I thought I could count on.

I'm better off now than I have been in years.

I was always there for her during everything but realised she never once just checked in with me or rang or messaged just to chat or say hello or ask about any of my family it was always constant need for her attention it was so draining I had to cut contact.

I wanted to bond with his girlfriend so invited her over for a girls night. She vented about how toxic he was, I was horrified so I offered her a safe place to stay. Then she twisted the story, telling everyone I interfered in their relationship and I lost the entire group of friends. They chose his side and her story because they knew him longer. I had known them for 4 years at that point and we had a weekly dnd group. They are still together. I was married btw but she made it sound like I wanted him. Still hurts.

I noticed a pattern of asking for me to buy things, drive places, etc. Never repaid or anything towards trips or anything.

Screamed angrily, "Sometimes I swear to god you're Autistic!"

I'm not and it would be fine if I am.