Dating Hell: These 45 Men Are Probably The Reason These Women Have Sworn Off Dating

With so many young people swearing off dating apps, it's important to understand why they might not be working anymore. Dating and relationship coach Beck Thompson tells Bored Panda that one reason might be that some people think they can get away with certain kinds of behaviors they wouldn't get away with in real life.

"Dating apps give people a false sense of access and entitlement and they enable behaviour that just would not (or at least I hope would not) exist in reality," she explains. "People are brave behind a screen." 

"There's a constant stream of faces to swipe on, which means many treat dating like ordering a takeaway: fast, disposable, and low-effort. That, mixed with minimal accountability and curated profiles, means people can show up however they want—with zero intention of actually being present, honest or kind." 

When you're on a date in real life, you and the date share at least some common things. Perhaps that's mutual friends, shared environments, and actual eye contact. "Online, it's way too easy to lie, ghost, breadcrumb, or just be a total idiot with no real consequences," Thompson says. "People can show up however they want—and often, that version is nowhere near who they really are."

It's not long until you finally say "Enough" and log off Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble forever. One psychologist told AP News in 2024 that around 80% to 90% of her clients report experiencing dating app burnout. Beck Thompson says that if the thought of opening a dating app makes you feel exhausted, you're probably one of them.

But there are other signs as well, and Beck goes over some of them:

1. You're swiping mindlessly and matching just for the dopamine hit.
2. You've become overly cynical—assuming everyone is lying, a scammer, or emotionally unavailable (which, to be fair, might not be wrong—but still).
3. You're settling for conversations that go nowhere or forcing connections with people you're not even interested in, just to avoid feeling alone.

In the end, the relationship coach says, dating is supposed to feel exciting. "Or at the very least, hopeful," she adds. "If it feels like a chore or a battlefield, it's time to take a break and come back with clearer intentions and I really encourage this."

Beck sympathizes with anyone disillusioned with the apps and those who think they'll never find their soulmate on there. "Your feelings are valid," she says. "Modern dating can be brutal, especially when you're genuinely seeking depth in a sea of surface-level swiping."

But she also says people might want to look in the mirror. "Here's the truth: meaningful connection starts with you. How you show up. What you tolerate. How clearly you communicate your standards and desires."

"Most people date reactively—they wait to see what someone else brings before deciding how much of themselves to offer. Flip that. Get grounded in who you are and what you want. That energy is magnetic," the dating coach urges.

Thompson also encourages people to take some time off the apps. "Take a breather. Reset. Reconnect with who you are and why you want love in the first place. Real connection doesn't come from hustling harder—it comes from showing up more honestly. You're not behind. You're not broken. You're just being selective—and that's a really good thing."