A Collection Of History Jokes That Never Go Out Of Date

Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?

Julius Sneezer.

Why did the Cold War end?

Global warming started.

How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?

Baroque.

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up too!

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles to school every day!

Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the schoolbus like everyone else!

What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?

They licked the British.

Where do young Vikings hang out?

In the Norsery!

What was the fruit that launched a thousand ships?

Melon of Troy.

My least favorite subject in school was Ancient History.

The teachers tended to Babylon.

A joke that only 1300's kids would get.

The Bubonic plague.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock!

What was the most popular band in prehistoric times?

Stone Age Temple Pilots.

In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?

The battle of Portaloo.

Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?

Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.

Do you guys like Civil War jokes?

Because General-Lee I don't find them funny.

Why was WWI so quick?

Because they were Russian.

How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?

With hero-glyphics.

Why was the pharaoh boastful?

Because he sphinx he’s the best!

You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.

Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?

At the bottom of his garden!