While everyone has at least heard a large variety of insults during their life, they are typically dumb, stock phrases yelled in anger. Which is why a well-honed verbal attack tends to stick with us for a long time after it’s actually been said.
So we’ve gathered some of the best insults people have heard and memorized or even been subjected to themselves. Get comfortable as you scroll through, add your favorites to your own arsenal, upvote the most creative examples and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments down below.
#21
Wow, Harold, you are dumber than a block of wood and not nearly as useful.
My slavic dad telling off a dude.
My slavic dad telling off a dude.
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17points
#23
One time my husband was making fun of me and my 8 year old (at the time) son chimed in with, “you can’t be saying anything with your bat symbol hairline.”.
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16points
#24
From the south. Back in highschool one of the redneck kids at school was picking on my buddy, and he turns around and says "Mike, I wonder if you'd be able to speak more clearly if your parents were second cousins instead of first.".
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16points
#25
"If a logical thought ran through your mind it would be shot for trespassing! ".
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15points
#26
"You're not stupid, you're just confidently wrong" hits different every time.
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15points
#27
"If you look up gullible in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of you"
"Yeah, well at least my dictionary doesn't have pictures, you idiot".
"Yeah, well at least my dictionary doesn't have pictures, you idiot".
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14points
#29
“You have spent your life chasing knowledge, but it has always been faster”.
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13points
#30
My father, referring to one of his coworkers:
"He was delivered by C-section, and he has been avoiding labor ever since.".
"He was delivered by C-section, and he has been avoiding labor ever since.".
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13points
#31
Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
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13points
#33
Drill instructors can cut deep.
Basic Training, new recruit does something stupid
Recruit: I’m sorry, sir!
DI: I know you’re sorry! I’m looking for a reason, not a personality trait.
Basic Training, new recruit does something stupid
Recruit: I’m sorry, sir!
DI: I know you’re sorry! I’m looking for a reason, not a personality trait.
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12points
#34
My favorite is
"You look like your father would be disappointed in you.
If he stayed.".
"You look like your father would be disappointed in you.
If he stayed.".
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12points
#35
"You are like the end piece of bread in a loaf, everyone touches you but no one wants you.".
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11points
#36
Drill Sergeants are well known for their insults. One of my favorites was to a kid in Basic with really bad acne. He said "Those aren't acne scars, those are marks from the hanger."
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11points
#38
If I had one hour to live, I would choose to spend it here because it feels like an eternity.
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10points
#39
One I heard was: “You’re not the main character, you’re just an NPC with dialogue glitches.” It’s so oddly specific it’s hard not to laugh even if it stings a little.
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10points
#40
Words can't describe your beauty...
But numbers can.
2/10.
But numbers can.
2/10.
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10points