Hey Pandas, What's Something You Want To Get Off Your Chest? (Closed)

I used to stalk my now boyfriend's IG account. He was a stranger to me, and we didn't run in the same circles. I randomly came across his account and developed a huge crush on him, would go down the rabbit hole and look into his history, his exes, etc. I learned some superficial things about his hobbies. Two years or so later, to my surprise (and after my crush had lessened) I matched with him on a dating app and made my move. I never told him about my internet stalking. I feel like it's far too late in the game to do so now.

I already posted something but I have two more things to add, however they both irrelevant to the other post.

1) I have a huge crush on a youtuber who's older than me and have no idea what to do
2) I really want a moustache and a beard and had a dream where I had grown both (a curly handlebar moustache and a goatee. They were really impressive) and was forced to shave them off. I was more scared of this than my nightmares. Is this normal?

I’ve got anxiety and depression and whenever life is going ok, I constantly think that something bad is just around the corner. I keep wondering when the next bad was going to happen. I’ve been on this happy high for 4 months and the next bad thing has just happened. And it’s probably going to last for the next few months. I’m just so tired. I wish I could press a fast forward button to when everything is alright again.

Earliest s*icidal thoughts I remember were when I was 6. I legit can't remember a time pre-meds where I wasn't depressed. I've made so many suicide plans (never gone through, but I've come close). I'm on my third med. First one caused suicidal thoughts (screw you Prozac) although it helped my mood. Lexapro did nothing. My new med appears to be helping a bit, not as much as Prozac did in terms of mood, and while I am not suicidal I have troubles with s*lf h*rm. I probably have about 30 open cuts/scars. If I don't get better I may not live to see 20. If I had to guess what kills me I'd say myself. I hope I get better, but I'm not sure if I will.

I'm trying hard not to turn into a total racist. I'm white and I tutor Chinese high schoolers in Australia. I know that lots of non-Asian families put pressure on their kids to perform well, but by the time I see these kids at 16-18 years old there's almost nothing left of a personality, optimism, or creativity. They're exam-drones and I absolutely hate tutoring them. I have two PhDs and almost every day I sit at work trying to explain to kids why they can't just 'formularize' an essay about literature (if they want to get top marks - and they ALL want top marks), and I hate myself and I hate them, and I hate the home culture that has done this to them. I feel like I've failed in life to have ended up doing this, because I've got medical/energy problems and I hate noise so I've basically bombed out of working in schools and there are no jobs in universities.

What's old is new again...sucks. Vinyl sucks (it sounds better the first time you play it; after that, it sounds like crap). Rotary phones suck. Typewriters suck. I grew up with these things and lovingly embraced the technology that replaced them.

And another thing about modern technology: I was in a job interview, and the person interviewing me gave me a condescending look and asked, "Are you comfortable with computers?" Lady, I took programming classes in the 80s and saw computers sweep through the office scape. I was there for the first car phones, cellular phones, satellite phones and smart phones, and I could program a VCR/DVR/whatever else, thank you. I've been working with computers full time as a profession since 1984. Don't act like modern technology was invented by your generation--it came from mine! We aren't as mystified by technology as you may like to think.

I’m so sick and tired about how real life/world change is unreachable and never seems to come. So I always hope for a full blown anarchistic society to begin that even government can’t touch.

I want to slap my mother in law and throw her out of our lives. I'm 3 months pregnant with our first child and she's sent me to my parents Over the SIN that I TURNED HER INLAWS PICTURE DOWN coz it was reflective and making me nauseous. The inlaws she separated from after 1 year of marriage.
Ps. I'm south asian, we live in joined family, with inlaws after marriage, it's common

Don’t allow hurtful people to rent space in your head!

Because of immigration issues I have not seen my children or my husband in nearly 19 months. I’m fairly certain I’ve become a functioning alcoholic.

I’m starting to hate myself. I’m angry and confused and anxious. I had depression and anxiety two years ago and I thought it was gone, it even worse now. My parents don’t listen to me. I’m midway through a conversation and something else is more important. The only time they notice me if when they’re fighting, and they try to get me to side with one of them. I’m losing friends at school, all they want is the be popular. I’m suddenly the weird kid, everyone looks at me weird when I talk to them. I don’t know my sexuality. Three years ago I think I fell in love with another girl but I keep denying what I feel.
I’m hating myself more and more. I started hurting myself, I’m having panic attacks where I’m in tears and I can’t breathe. I haven’t had suicidal thoughts but I want to suffer. I feel like I deserve it.
What’s wrong with me?

Hair.

People need to stop fakeclaiming systems because of fictives. Michael is a fictive in our (possible. Under 18 so can't be diagnosed) system and he's faced the most discrimination, fake memories and self-doubt than any of us. Fictional introjects (fictives) are real. It doesn't matter if they're super canon conforming or don't conform to canon at all. They're very real and very valid. Mike, we're proud of you. Remember, you're real dude! You matter so much to us!!!

today my wife told me she has fallen out of love with me. after her breakdown a year after our

In a couple of weeks I’m due to have minor surgery. I still have to be knocked out. Over the years, I’ve had issues with my bp. I do what I can to keep it in check. I’m still nervous about the surgery and my bp causing an issue to where I may not wake up or I could have a stroke. We tried once to do the surgery, in August, but bp was too high and had to post pone. It doesn’t feel like that big of a deal, but deep down, I feel like I’m kidding myself and and very nervous. I know that doesn’t help my bp either.

The pelt that is growing on it!

People over-apologizing. If you did something wrong, you need to say you're sorry once. JUST ONCE. I heard you the first time, I accept your apology. Put it behind you. Everybody bungles.

When I was a kid my parents got me a teddy Ruxpin I loved it until his eye fell out one night think he fell out off my bed I was gutted my mum fixer of all glued his eye back in so he resembled a stroke victim soon after that his other eye got knocked out again my mum glued it back in. His eyes would twitch and quiver like he was having a seizure and never fully closed. Creeped me right out! Can recall it vividly my mum thought she was doing a good deed and would never have told her any different but really teddy Ruxpin became the thing of nightmares.

My cat.

I AM DONE WITH COVID! CAN WE JUST FORGET ABOUT IT PLEASE? LIKE I KNOW ITS NOT THAT EASY BUT PLEASE, I AM DONE WITH MASKS, IM DONE WITH SOCIAL DISTANCING, I. AM. DONE. PLEASE.