Hey Pandas, What Was Your ‘Gay Awakening’? (Closed)

It just never happened. I always liked a certain group of people but I didn't have the words to even explain it. When I was younger I thought the people I liked didn't even exist because I never saw someone like that in real life. To say I liked boys felt wrong even though it's somewhat true, it felt like another word to explain it was missing, because society never had the same definition of being a man as I did. Later on I realized I myself was like these puzzling people I liked, and just like for my sexuality I just didn't have the worda for myself. I'm androgynous before anything else, it's my biggest pride, male comes second. I do consider myself binary male, I just refuse to be externally masculine. And just like for myself, androgyny comes before anything when it comes to my sexuality, only after that comes liking guys and non-binary people.

Genuine representation for strong androgynous and effeminate man are sadly still lacking (usually these characters are made into a joke) and the same for romance focusing in enby characters. I dream with the day we'll have a super hero kick a*s in heels and well done nails and get the cute enbuoy in the end. But it's still really emotional to think how far we've come, from not a single word to explain who I liked to Double Trouble, a cartoon character kid me could have looked at and said "hey, I like them". From being told I'd "change my mind" as a kid to having a word to define what I disliked so much about relationships back then (amatonormatovity). It's always a surreal feeling, for someone who was always the monster, to feel like I'm not alone.

millie bobby brown. i was obsessed with her for about a year, and this past summer i was just sitting in my room chilling and i was like oh sh!t im gay

so i was never sure cause i always assumed that whatever was weird about me that wasnt ADHD was normal for everyone, but a lot of things kinda led to it. all my barbie dolls were in love with each other. i alway felt kind of bad for relating to men who liked women on tv and in movies cause i thought they were written as kind of creepy. my first crush on a guy was very forced and it was really just cause i was trying to "fit in". but the way i finally realized that i was gay was some e-girl streamer chick doing asmr.
please dont judge me i was 13 and sleep deprived. (and to be fair she was really cute)

When I was 14 years old, I dreamed that I was kissing a girl from my school that I had never seen before.

I woke up from shock and felt guilty for a while, then I began to come to the realization that this was not something to feel guilty about, and that it explained why I was so reluctant to get a firt kiss.

I had already slapped the first boy that had tried to kiss me.

She-ra the old 1985's version (i'm not that old my parents just put it on for me) Took 10 years to understand that "Oh, wait I want to kiss her not be her" (Pretty close to my exact words

I’m aroace, and I actually ended up with three awakenings.
1) When I learned what sex was in school and shuddered at the thought of someone a part of their body inside my body. Ever since then, I’ve known that I never want to have sex.

2) When I hadn’t had an actual crush by my freshman year and realized I have no desire to date a guy or even get married one day.

3) When my trans?(IDK what they identify as because they’ve changed it at least 3 times by now) friend told me what aroace means and I immediately thought “That’s me!”

I always knew I was aroace despite not having the vocabulary for it-- my parents will tell this story about how a very young me would loudly insist that "IF i EVER get married, I'm not kissing the groom. Im fist bumping him. Because kissing is gross." I finally found the vocabulary through two separate online role plays because I had to Google them to figure out what they meant and not seem weird. Promptly tried not to slam my head into a desk from embarrassment.

Raquelle from that one barbie show. I also used to make all my girls dolls be girlfriends and claimed it was because I had no male ones. (i purposely did not get any)

I had a crush on my best friend in 1st grade, it continued till 3rd grade when I met the love of my life

When I finally saw a teen friend for the first time in a while and I wanted to hold her hand and kiss her cheek. (We were not that close, but she represented a lot for me) It took me a while as I'm demi, so didn't think about it much; was a huge relief when I found out about the attraction spectrum and I knew I wasn't broken for not having much interest.

i was watching raven's home, the show, you know the one, and omg. i had the BIGGEST crush on tess (Sky Katz). i was probably like 10. i was kind of in denial like i just think shes cool, whatever,, but i would get butterflies whenever i saw her

One day my friend came out to me as pan and to support her and to just give myself more knowledge I started exploring everything and then later on I realized that I did like both girls and boys and I was like "huh I'm bi. cool :)" and then later I started realizing that maybe I wasn't sexually attracted to people but still romantically attracted? I'm still figuring things out but yeah :) 👍

When I was about ten, I had no clue that being gay even existed, but still had a huge crush on this girl that I knew. I got really nervous and giddy around her, was always trying to impress her, and got jealous whenever she would hang out with a guy instead of me. I convinced myself that I just really wanted to be her friend 😅

Fast forward a couple years, I meet my mom's friend's kid. Twelve-year-old me thought that she was just the absolute coolest. We started hanging out a bit, and then eventually I realized that I had feelings for her. By this time I knew that not everyone was straight, and after a lot of panicking, thinking, and searching up "am I gay" quizzes on google, I finally realized that I was bi. I never told my friend how I felt though, both due to her being a couple years older than me and having a girlfriend by the time I was sure of my feelings. We're still in touch however, and I'm really grateful for her.

... Luna from loud house. During a hurricane we bought a disc of the first two seasons. There's this episode (spoilers) where everyone is helping each other with their crushes. Luna just keeps saying Sam, along with her sisters and brother. Never any pronouns. There's scenes where she tries to talk to Sam, but they're always in a group. At the end, Luna slips a note into Sam's locker. The group Luna was talking with walks by, and *a girl* opens the locker. When I tell you I freaked out, I freaked out. I was just like "THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENS TO OTHER PEOPLE NO WAYYY". Im currently re watching the show, and there's a later episode that's focused on Luna and Sam going on a date. Y'all have no idea how supportive Luna's whole family is! Her two older sisters asked for updates constantly. And y'all have no idea HOW HAPPY I WAS. Like- I don't even understand

New panda here and I wanted to add my answer!

I realized I was gay when I started looking at women with more interest than men. At first, I thought I was bisexual, but nope! I realized I was lesbian

I am now happily dating my girlfriend of 3 months and am looking forward to spending Valentine's day and every day I can with her!

when i looked back on my life and realized how many crushes (guys and girls) i had during my school years…

you know, i didn't even really consider this my "awakening" until recently. when i was in 4th grade, my best friend came out to me as gay. i was the first one he told and i was confused. he had to explain the entire premise to me. I was completely unaware people could like people of the same gender.

well needless to say, i started noticing attractions to men, and while my parents might not approve, i have the sweetest boyfriend ever because of it.

Okay.....so, you know those school assemblies that they have where motivational speakers come to "inspire future generations"? Well they brought to my high-school a group of bodybuilders that did a lot of impressive feats of strength. I couldn't stop staring at them and couldn't figure out why. I had never been attracted to anyone else before, but seeing those guys on stage being huge and strong kinda made me realize that...that was what I liked. It was embarrassing...but that's my story. It also started me on my fitness journey. So...I guess that assembly did inspire me after all.

This is going to sound odd, but I probably had my first girlfriend before I realized I was bi.

See, in Middle School I met this girl, we shared a lot of things, including our first name (although we spelled it differently, both readers, she got me into Anime and Sailor Moon in particular, I spent all my time with her, and we even went out together, obstensibly, dates, just the two of us, eating together, or going to the mall, the femme to my tomboy butch, although I'm more femme now. It took me so long after things didn't work out to realize that I was attracted to girls, and... She and I were almost dating. If I had been more open with myself, would we be really dating? Would our favorite characters have gone from Venus and Mars to Uranus and Neptune? I moved away shortly after, so there's no telling, but sometimes I wish I could talk to her again.

Why would God and Jesus hate people for loving others just as He intended to have them love each other?

Also, lots of fictional characters contributed to this Christian bisexual's awakening.