Hey Pandas, What Is The Most Ridiculous Way You Have Injured Yourself?

I bought this absurdly high platform shoes, the platform was wooden and very heavy. First time I wore them I was on a date with this handsome older guy, for some reason I assumed I’d match his maturity with height…cute but misplaced confidence. The date ended up being dinner followed by us walking around an old town square. Stepping off a curb the platform went left and my foot went right. Snap goes my ankle. Cut to my date having to carry me crying to his car and then into the ER. Crying for him to call my mom. Leading to some very disdainful looks of nurses and eventually my mom. I broke my ankle trying to look cute. I dunno when he slipped out but I never got those shoes back 🤣

Had a clog in my dust collector (for woodworking). Couldn't find it, so I took the hose off and was "?" thinking, maybe a jam in the impeller. Shut it off, but didn't wait for it to stop turning, put my finger in the intake to the impeller, it came quickly back out, bloody and painful (OW). Run to the house, clean it, bandage it, I hope I've learned my lesson. Turns out the jam was in the hose, where it will be 97.36% of the time. Could've lost the last bit of a very useful finger.

I was walking towards an entry way while looking in a different direction, in the dark. As I turned my head to figure out where I was, my nose went crunch on the inside of the said entry way.

I was trying to make it to bus on time while keeping an eye on possible pokemon. Add to that some rotting leaves and suddenly I was lying on my side with my arm doing a new and horrifying angle. Couldn't even make a fist for more than a month and my elbow is permanently annoying

Not sure if this counts, but when I was maybe 7 or 8 I was sitting on the floor putting on my shoes to go to school, and our new puppy jumped up to lick my face and one of his super-sharp baby teeth sliced completely through my eye lid and I had to get a bunch of stitches.

I also threw my back out sneezing while driving and nearly crashed into another car.

Not me, but a friend. She was climbing a tree in her front yard, climbed onto a dead branch, fell and broke her neck, got a concussion, and popped all the blood vessels in her nose. She was out of school for a month

2nd submission. Again not me, this time a family friend. We had just been hanging out (we lived across the street at the time) and we’d parted ways to make dinner, etc. My family was sitting on our front porch when the mom comes running up their driveway, yelling for my dad. Apparently the guy had been trying to get the pit out of an avocado and stabbed the king all the way through his hand. Luckily he’d missed all his nerves, tendons, bones, etc. Dad had to go help him, ambulance was called, he got stitches and everything was ok. We laugh about it now.

I have a scar from when a dude found out my crush told my crush (3rd grade) I chased the dude i don’t know what I intended to do but I chased him down with my crush who knew I liked him I tripped on the concrete like that side where the road and sidewalk meet the hump well I tripped and made my jeans ripped jeans and my crush handed me a dory bandaid out of his underwear 💀💀💀

Not me, but my cousin tied her own hair around her tongue so tightly (because she was bored, excellent reason) that her tongue swelled up and she couldn't get it off. She had to go to the ER and get a tongue massage

(Not me but my grandfather) Working in the yard with a chainsaw. Chainsaw hits leg. *Bounces off*. Hits leg a SECOND time.

I stood up from sitting down on my schools choir risers and managed to simultaneously A: re-injure an old injury on the inside of my left ankle, and B: sprain a ligament on the outside of the same ankle. Ended up on crutches (again!) for three weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️

Playing in the garden, I hear the music of the ice cream van. I try running to my mom to see if I can get money for ice cream but I trip over a skate board and break my fingers. 12 years later and I still blame the ice cream man XD

Falling off my bike face first into a bush of stinging nettles.

This is the PERFECT THREAD FOR ME TO ANSWER IN! Okay once, my dog was lying down in front of the couch. So I’m bored (nothing good happens when I’m bored) and so I think “I wonder if I can jump over the dog and do a cannonball onto the couch?” So I did, and my knee BONKED my nose so hard, it felt like hellfire was setting my nose aflame! So I’m frantically walking to the kitchen in panic, thin snot pouring out my nose. So I reach the kitchen, I say “What’s gonna help me here?” So I go all the way across the house to the bathroom, where I find out, the thin snot……..wasn’t thin snot…..it was blood- So I do the stupidest thing I could do and without a paper towel, a rag, or anything! …..I blow my nose. BLOOD. WENT. EVERYWHERE! And so Half of me was like “AWESOME!” the other half was like “Uh- Not really!” So I hurry and clean up the bathroom, and I look to the side of me and I see a trail of red dots, going from the kitchen to the bathroom. Once the bleeding stopped I frantically cleaned up my blood before my mom and dad got home. After that? I just continued watching Toy Story and acted like nothing happened.

Well, my cat sleeps on my bed at night as well, near my feet. One time I moved my leg or my foot in my sleep, she was startled by my movement. I then was slightly startled by her movement, she was even more startled by mine and I again by her. At some point during this chain reaction I hurt my back and I couldn’t sit straight the next day.

I was climbing a tree and tried to jump to a slightly higher branch. As soon as I grabbed onto the branch, it snapped and I fell off the tree and landed directly on my tailbone. I wasn't that high on the tree, so I didn't get majorly injured, but it still hurts like hell.

walking. plain old walking. not even in heels or SHOES. just barefoot 😭 i have twisted my ankles many many maaany times (ive had crutches, an air bag support thingy and splints/wraps multiple times on either ankle)

oh i have another one 😁 in an art class we were practicing sewing pincushions and i finished it and stabbed it with a needle like a normal person yk? then i proceeded to SLAM my hand down on the POINTY PART OF THE NEEDLE from the bottom of the pincushion 🙃 it hurt like hell but i didnt want anyone to notice my stupidity so i sucked it up while my hand was bleeding out from a teeny tiny hole in the center of my palm. it healed and didnt scar so yeah 👍🏻 i try not to sew if i can help it now haha

This is kind of a funny story because I did not in fact get injured, but I definitely should have. I was in a fight with one of my parents, so being the stupid teenager I was, the only rational way to deal with it was to sneak out my window with a rope made of jeans and walk to my other parent's house. Of course, I could have just walked out the front door, or even tried to calmly resolve the issue, but I don't like confrontation. So I fashioned myself a 15ft rope out of my jeans knotted together, threw it out my bedroom window (2nd floor), and started to climb out. Now, as I was shimmying out the window feet first, I forgot to grab the rope. The rope I specifically made to hold onto. So I fell smack dab onto the ground on my back. I didn't end up going to my other house because I decided I didn't feel like it because it was like 11 pm so I rang my doorbell and went back inside. I had to have the confrontation anyway, so I should've just spared myself the possible death. I didn't get a scratch though, which was really surprising to me. I prepared myself for a broken arm before I left, so I was pretty happy about it.

I tore a tendon in my foot by slipping on a frozen pea, was unable to walk pain or limp free for 2 months