Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Need To Get Off Your Chest? (Closed)

The other night I couldn’t sleep. I think it was just stress from everything going on right now in the US. So I was up at 4am, just walking around quietly, cause what else do you do at night with a houseful of people? That night, like I said, I was stressed and in a bad mental state, I had cried at midnight and again right after I was up walking. Anyways the part I need to get off my chest: when I was up walking, I was dissociating, like a lot. I’m not kidding when I say it felt like I was walking around in VR, like I could’ve reached out and swiped my hand through the couch. And I dissociate a lot, it was just really bad that night. Sometimes I wonder if that’s normal, if everyone feels disconnected from their own body and what’s going on around them and it’s just something we need to talk about more, or if there’s genuinely something wrong with me. Anyways *emoji* (cause I doubt it’ll actually show the emoji if I put one)

My ex threw away my journal. Nevermind how he got it but it was my most prized possession. I want it back but I’m never going to get back those years of poetry drawings and writing about love. I’m so heartbroken.

I resent my mother for selling the house I grew up in, built a new house that I can't sell if she passes over me for reasons too complicated to explain, and BRAGGING to me that unless I want to move back to Alaska and live among relatives I strongly dislike, I'm not going to have an inheritance. I mostly resent her because I have never ONCE asked her about what I gain from her death and was willing to let her do what she feels she needs to do, but she keeps bringing it up. But she gets more than a little angry when I tell her I don't intend to outlive her so she's wasting her breath. 😒

My boyfriend doesn’t know how to show appreciation. Even though I know he does.

This is my first time posting anything on here, so here goes. I am 12 and I just got out of 6th grade and my grades were dropping. My sister went to the same school so I feel like I have to do just as good as she did but she’s always been better at school than me. I feel like my parents are gonna punish me for not getting good grades and the school doesn’t want to accommodate for my autism and ADHD. My brother and two of my friends are LGBTQ and I’m constantly worried that someone’s going to try to attack them for it. I don’t think I’m straight, but I do t no what the f**k my sexuality is so I’m worrying about that. My other friend recently had surgery on her leg and I’m worried she’s going to accidentally damage it permanently. Two of my friends live in Europe so I’m worried about them because of the war. Speaking of which, I hate what Putin is doing in Ukraine but I can’t do anything to help. I hate the way my country is going downhill (I’m American, just an FYI) and I’m worried that if things get much worse my mom is gonna move is out of the country somehow. Speaking of my family I’m also kinda hurt that my dad didn’t want me at first. Mom wanted three kids but dad wanted two. I think you can guess what number I am. I am also depressed and I have had suicidal thoughts. I actually planned out a way to kill myself and I have cut myself before, but I didn’t cut myself because I was suicidal. I did it because I got angry at myself for getting so angry at my mom for not letting me use the bathroom because I was covered with dirt and sweat from working outside. My dog who I’ve had since I was 3 I believe is on her last legs and I never really got over the death of my favorite cat. My sister also loves stealing my notebooks where I write down what my imagination comes up with, which I prefer to keep to myself since I’m self conscious about it and my sister knows that. I’m always tired and my self esteem is almost non existent. I’m sorry you had to read that, since my problems shouldn’t impact you but I really needed to get that off my chest. I don’t really have a right to post this since other people on here have actual problems unlike mine. Go ahead and downvote me. Criticize me. I don’t care. I already hate myself more than almost anyone. Nothings going to change if you insult me. I’ll survive. But thank you for reading.😔

This is more of a complaint than getting something off my chest, but, I've been getting stomach cramps n feeling like my stomach is full for the past few days whenever I eat and it's gotten to the point where I hate eating bc I know I'll be miserable at night. Currently sitting in an empty bathtub in pajamas at 3:37 am and my phone's at 4% because if i lay down to sleep I'll feel even worse.. 🗿

Yesterday, I Tried to take my life with painkillers paracetamol and I threw up after 2 hours so it did not work. Nobody knows that. But I’m hiding from my husband and 2 year old daughter and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave my daughter but my husband and I are toxic / codependent he’s abusive all that good stuff. But I’m a terrible mom a terrible friend and I don’t know if I should try again. Please don’t judge me I love my baby, I just think I’m a bad parent for her because I don’t want to live like this

My parents know I’m asexual, but keep pressuring me to have kids, when I don’t want to.

OK here goes please be kind. I cannot stand Greta Thornburg. Sorry there it is off my chest. There is just something I can't put my finger on. How does she make money? How does she travel all over the world and not create some kind of carbon footprint. It's now off my chest I can now sleep more easily.

1# I've basically been continuously ill since I had covid in November despite not being very ill while I was testing positive (vaxxed– between first and second vaccines,

I'm not a straight perfect kid, I'm pansexual and nonbinary, and I want to go by a different name/pronouns. also I have a huge crush on a friend I haven't seen in a year. I'm always angry but cant tell anyone but random people in the internet ;p

I am an introvert. I love my own company.

I am also living with my bf and our 3 daughters.

On a daily basis I daydream about being alone again. Even just for a week or so.

I do love my kids to bits and pieces and with every fiber of my being. But I miss my own time so much and I think this may be part of the reason my memory is so bad, my stress is up, I studder pretty often, forget words, and need systems and planning in order to function just fairly normally.

I look forward to when the kids leave home.

My oldest turned 5 years old today 😬 (I am so happy and proud for her, though. Her eyes shined like rivers of gold all day because she was so excited about everything that happened today).

I don't want to work. I have no real ambition for a career. This idea you must "be someone and make tons of money" feels like it's been programmed into our heads since elementary school. Most of us will manage to be well-off enough to live comfortably in a little home. Many will struggle to earn a decent living and be stuck at a job they loath because... money. I don't want to interact with people everyday, but I must to get my art out there.
I don't want to work and have people yell down my ear over their issues. I don't want to work. I want to sleep. Just... sleeeeep .. .. forever....

Pretty much everything I have ever done

I love road trips, but I really don't want to take this one.

I had a very long post prepared, but I think it's best if I keep that to my journal.

This might be a lot, so be prepared.
I’m only 11, but I have a lot going on. So, I’m in a friend group of 3. We’re in the break between elementary and middle school. I’m not going to school with either of them next yr. The male, Jude, it’s hid middle name, I’m in love with. He dosent know. The female, Juliet, well, I’ll get to that later. So Jude’s parents are getting divorced, and he is moving in with his dad. He therefore, will be going to a diff school then everyone thinks, he has only told me any of this. (Originally he was going to School with Juliet.) I’m going to a private school. He and Juliet are in a fight. We communicate through roblox, but Juliet and jude have unfriended each other. So me and jude are pranking Juliet by me telling her that he hasn’t been online in like a month. Therefore, when she goes to school and he’s not there, it will be ‘confirmed’ that he’s dead. And for some reason, I don’t feel guilty at all. Should I? Also, Jude is going to go to school with a girl who has a crush on him that we knew previously. Which she told me that she liked him and told me not to tell him. But I did, I feel guilty. And he knows that she will be going to that school.
Next, I think I’m bi and have only told Juliet, but I told her over roblox even though we can text whenever we want. The problem is that a: I’m only pretty sure, but even if I knew then I wouldn’t tell anyone else. B: when I told her, she left the game. Then joined me later and acted like nothing had happened.
Next, I’m always called super smart and intelligent, and etc by everyone. But I’m pretty sure I’m Juliet and jude are actually smarter than me even though they always say that I’m smarter. Also, Jude always says that he’s stupid, but he’s actually rlly smart (I’m not just saying that cause I’m in love with him)
I’m actually rlly depressed, but I don’t tell anyone bc then they’ll say I’m just faking for the attention.
Juliet broke her arm, but for some reason, I’m don’t feel sorry for her.
I write stories, and have won several contests, but I don’t think I’m actually good at it.
I’m Srry for my rant, but thanks for reading!

The last person I considered a close friend stopped communicating with me recently. If it weren't for my So I would be completely alone, I got out of the army in 2014 and every year since I lose connection with someone. (No it's not me, it's time I guess. I really don't know)

I'm in love w my best friend and lm pretty sure he likes my other friend

Addictive. The word is addictive NOT addicting. Drives me mental every. Single. Time.

on the topic w my friends, i told them i found the idea of masturbation disgusing and i dont know why and got hated on :(