Hey Pandas, What Is Something Parents Should Stop Doing?

I know that this is coming from a good place but stop telling what will make me happy! The fact that something makes you happy, doesn't mean that will make me happy as well! I know myself way better than you know me so let me follow my wishes and dreams... Thanks for the suggestions though!

Only liking their kids when they're obedient. It is absolutely beyond me how teenagers, the most fragile group, are treated by their own parents. Of course they have phases and they're emotional, they're F*CKING TEENAGERS, TALK TO THEM. I am under the impression that so many people just want a cute baby, and they don't realize the baby is going to grow up and need them more and more, especially emotionally...

Comparing us to other kids

blaming their children for their own misfortune

They don't need to take up our phones, it doesn't do anything just makes us even more mad and they need to actually listen to us and when we try to explain something it's not "talking back"

Refusing to vaccinate kids

Being overprotective.
Story if you have time.
My sister (14) wanted to visit her friend's house. Her friend's house was 3 minute walk away from our house. They said no and when she said why they said because I said so (Also something they should stop, give an actual reason.) Also, it was on Halloween which means there are a lot of people out and our street wasn't somewhere were you'd get kidnapped. We aren't even allowed to get candy on Halloween because they are probably scared that people are going to waste money on drügs.

Forcing kids to have a religion, especially at a young age.

Mine is where parents disregard a kids emotions and feelings. Sometimes they can’t help it. Instead of screaming at them for “doing stupid stuff and being dramatic”, just find a therapist and get to the bottom of a kids mental issues and depression. I had a time where I got in a fight with my mom and when I tried speaking up she accused me of “yelling all the time” and she scared me so much I started sobbing because I had to let it out and I knew I would stop soon, but my dad came and without knowing he shushed me and sent me too my room and told me to be quiet. I’m still not talking to him to this day because of what he had done. That night was the worst of my life. I wish I could teleport so I could be out of here. I was suicidal, having a psychotic break and a panic attack all at once. I said I wanted to kill myself and my mom yelled at me for thinking this. She should have comforted me but no. She said “you’re not allowed to think about suicide anymore” LIKE WTF. How could I “not think about suicide at the moment”??? It’s just like telling an injured person to “just walk”. my mom thought I was stupid for being sad. So parents, don’t go over to your upset kid and be like “don’t do that, that’s not appropriate”, instead, ask them why they’re sad and comfort them. Don’t just be an a*****e and blame them for their issues

Shouting all the time over the smallest things. By now my dad has to lie to/distract my mum when she's shouting. He also constantly tells her to not swear at us. So yea don't do that.

Also can y'all not compare us to how u were at our age. Makes us feel bad about ourselves.

Getting mad at us for not knowing how to do a basic task because you carried us our whole lives

Trying to force us to eat food that makes us sick, and then getting mad when we ask what's for dinner. If we ask, and you know we don't like it, just tell us, or make something different for us.

Making kids do sports they don't want to really do. Making kids do things that make them feel uncomfortable. Publicly embarrassing your kid. Being emotionally abusive. Talking about there weight a lot. Or there looks of any kind ect. Emotionally abuse. Treating them like adults, in any way. Sexualize kids which is surprising cause it happening a lot and its kinda scary. I go to store to buy my nine yr cloths and they belly shirts for six yr olds. Whoa hold on a min. Nope I'm sorry. Maybe when she like 16. But I hope never. But please it kinda creepy

Valuing heritage over their child's personal freedom and happiness. Acting like the matriarch or patriarch of the family is infallible.

Hitting their kids - even "just" a slap on the cheek.

When parents say your name and you say yeah a million times and they never answer you.

This mostly pertains to divorced parents, like if the kids go from house to house, but don't s**t talk the other parent in front of them.
My dad used to say "well you tell your mother ___" or "that b***h ___" and just say stuff that, looking back on it, was probably the copious amounts of alcohol and lack of therapy talking. I used to think I was supposed to relay this info to my mom next time I saw her, because I was, like, 5. She'd end up crying or getting upset and I'd feel like I was in the wrong, like I had to "fix it." The message my brother received, however, was that mom wasn't a figure of authority. Mom couldn't tell him what to do. Mom was a lying, conniving, no good s****., and he would repeat that whenever he didn't get his way. Not a good way to grow up.

For me,i think parents should stop with the mentality of"im going to take this away until you do this" instead,allow the child to realize their mistake,and try to learn from it

Letting their adult children make their own decisions and stop trying to run their lives. Idk if you don't agree with it it's not your choice.

I work in mental health. Parents need to stop not letting their kids experience things that make them uncomfortable. I even hear from my own friends who say that if their child doesn't want to do something that makes them uncomfortable they don't have to. Unless it's a situation that is dangerous that could hurt them.... the feeling of being uncomfortable won't. All your teaching them is avoidance and not how to process emotions. They need to learn how to deal with that feeling while they are younger and the situations are hopefully smaller because once they are older and on their own they don't have the tools to deal with much bigger situations that will make them feel uncomfortable.

Expecting your kids to have the same values, likes and dislikes, ideas, careers, ideas, taste etc etc.
Expecting to own them.
Take lessons from other animals, raise them...that is teach them how to survive and then let them get on with their own lives.
Think how you are with your parents.