Hey Pandas, Vent About Anything You'd Like (Closed)

Idk I'm a bit annoyed that I lied about my pronouns because I got too scared to come out when asked...

That the human race continues to fight each other :-(

my crush is bread crumbing me and it's awful, because he means the world to me. hes only giving a little bit of affection at a time and wont ask me out even tho he said he likes me, and I like him. I've made so many move and I'm tired of iy! I deserve the whole ash loaf! WHOLE ASH LOAF!
and my dad and coach are extremely emotionally abvsive so that's fun

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, things between us have gotten super serious and we talk openly about our feelings, and he’s helped me through some really dark times in my life where I felt that nothing really matters and that I was starving myself almost to death because of my eating disorder, and he says that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me because him and I are kindred spirits, we practically get each other. I haven’t told a lot of my family about my relationship with him because I’m nervous about their reaction.

My parents found out about my problems, and now they’re constantly asking me personal questions and acting awkward. Things are starting to get better now, but it’s only getting better because they’re blaming my problems on teenage hormones and the internet. Now they’ve limited my access to the internet even more. I might get a therapist though. And I’m terrified of them just asking to see my search history, finding my account on bp, and getting rid of my ability to do things on here because “don’t talk to strangers on the internet”. You guys are nice and I don’t want to leave :(.

life is getting funky i'm messing around with my thesis during last semestre cuz my mentor screwed it up while i'm a poet and write stuff all the time n read all the time while i'm also attending med school (i'm gonna be a lab technician though not a physician i dont wanna interact with ppl). meanwhile inflation is getting crazy i literally live on beans and cooked rice with some sauce and i'm still the lucky one since my parents could buy me a flat and i can still opt for healthy meals and i can purchase books of my interest. also my mother issues are getting messy i'm a functional orphan. overall i have a lot on my plate i dont have time nor budget for going out for decadent parties and i havent had a gal for a long time. thx for reading my rumblings. u r the best.

I think I'm losing my faith in humanity, and in there being I future when I'm older.

I'm just gonna let it all out and it's not gonna make sense. And I'm sorry but I don't even need it to make sense, I just need it out of my system.

I feel like a terrible person all the time. I want people to do well but when they do too well and overtake where I am at, I get jealous. I genuinely want people to do their best but when it threatens what I've worked for, I get so upset at them for doing well. Really it's my fault for never going further in my talents, I can't get myself motivated. It's my fault for not being able to do anything for 2 months while everybody else progressed. It's my fault for my bird dying the week before auditions and then me not practicing that whole weekend. It's my fault for getting so nervous to play that I couldn't hold myself up before entering the room and for developing massive headaches in the room. It's my fault for getting upset that everybody is doing well when I'm doing my worst. It's my fault all the time. I'm not even saying that sarcastically, it really is my fault for how I do. I didn't put in the work and I'm just seeing the results of it. And everybody's just trying to be like "No you're such a good player, the audition doesn't reflect that. You put in so much work." Like sure, I definitely did. My 2 months of practice was SO MUCH. Me not being able to perform solo is an attribute of a good player. I can't perform solo like at all. I go to play and I just go on autopilot. Everything shuts down and suddenly I'm finishing a piece I didn't know I started. I sound like garbage while playing too. Can't even breathe right! And why can't I breathe right you might be asking? I have a heart problem, and according to my doctor I should just work out more often and it will get better. I don't work out because it's too much to do, like I just can't because of how I end up feeling. So we're back here again that its all my fault for how things are turning out. And I can't even tell people this because then they'll spew some bs about how it's not my fault, but are they even telling the truth? I feel like people are just lying to me all the time so they can get what they want. Sadly this is a truth most of the time. I've been used too many times and now there's a wound on my heart that won't go away until I can trust myself. But I can't even trust myself, how do I know what I'm feeling is even what I'm feeling??

Sorry for all of this, I'm just very upset right now. Theres a lot happening

I think I'm struggling with an eating disorder. I AM NOT SURE, and I really don't want to self-diagnose, but I've had issues with my body for as long as I can remember. (literally since I was 5-6 y.o.) For the past few months I've been skipping breakfast and lunch and only eating small portions of dinner, which probably isn't good because I bike 10km (6 miles?) a day to get to school and back. I tried to eat a croissant for breakfast a few days ago, and I just couldn't. I could barely eat half of a croissant before getting extremely nauseous and almost vomiting. There hasn't really been any change in my weight and my looks though (sadly enough). What I'm trying to say is that I'm kinda worried about my health and THINK I might have an eating disorder. Thank you for listening! (reading?)

I don’t like myself

I'm currently working at a position at my work that's temporary while I'm dealing with some health issues and I'm having to deal with a lot of things (personnel) that are not being done correctly in my opinion and there's no logical reason for doing some of the things the way they are being done. I have massive ADHD and these issues would be so easy to fix.

why the fecking well would you hate tree's, are you an actual moron, how are you breathing without them idiot, WE NEED THE TREES STOP BEING AN A*****E AND THINK FOR SECOND

I've spammed this on every post like this amd I am sorry, but my heart really is broken to dust because my crush doesn't feel the same for me 💔

i think i’m autistic. i really do. i have quite a lot of the symptoms. i think i’m non binary. i don’t know. i think i’m genderfae. again, i don’t know. how do i find out? i just feel influenced by a book and ppl on bp (abt non binary) and i don’t know if i am it. i always seem to think i’ve got a “thing”, first it was tourette’s, then adhd and now autism. i cannot accept that i’m not normal. that im not as carefree as some of my friends. maybe i read to many books. maybe all those facts are fvcking up my brain. i think i know too many words. i randomly forget a word but remember another. i don’t really like my body. my hair is too long. maybe it’s a non binary thing. maybe i am non binary. i want short hair- a pixie cut to be precise. i want to be an author or illustrator but i’m not good at writing or drawing. or maybe just i can’t accept it

Earlier me and my boyfriend were texting and I gave him an attitude with my response and he got mad at me and I profusely apologised and said that I’m an a*****e and nobody talks to me because I’m a huge jerk to most people, but he said that I was just having a bad moment and it happens to everyone, but I told him that I seriously hate myself.

I can't stand the popular/athletic kids at my school Idk why but they're just so rude to everyone, and their "leader" is super homophobic and I just have had enough of them, especially when they're mean to my friends like we've all been going to the same school for a few years and they don't even use my friends' names hen talking to them, just "the guy with the glasses" like wtf that's dehumanizing.
Sorry, that was random and my spelling/grammar might not be 100%

I’ve been a jerk to so many people and I’m too egotistical for my own good. I’ve improved from coming off as offensive to appearing mean so that’s one good thing but I have a long way to go before I become likeable. A lot of breakups (in friendships) were because of me. I was a s****y friend to everyone and I couldn’t control my tongue and my temper which led to so much pain for others. I am trying to stop being so mean but it’s just addicting to insult others and it makes me feel kind of good but then I regret it afterwards. I’ve been a terrible friend, daughter and sister and I’m sure that not everyone will forgive me if I ever apologise

People are never taught how to coil cables properly!!