Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

I'm taking care of a cat, that isn't mine, for the rest of it's life.

The things you find in the washing machine ;
lego, stones, feathers,.
Also to be found in other surprising places like the fridge.

I have a 4 bedroom house and yet forget what the other occupants look like thanks to cell phones, gaming systems, work, school and general (teen) "I hate everyone" attitudes. But yet the kitchen sink is constantly full with 734 cups for various liquid nourishment and bowls and plates. And where the hell are all my spoons???

During the school year, every morning is a crisis that involves lost items, tears, and vows to do better tomorrow. And that's when I'm the only one awake!!

Before COVID you could find sanitizer and wet wipes in my car or bag at any given time.

I can no longer be coaxed, or tricked into, sniffing anyone’s finger.

The only jokes I know are Dad jokes.

My pantry and fridge are full of empty cartons, containers and packages that I don't see until I'm putting the groceries away.

Peppa Pig haunts my dreams, the little S**t

We (both in our 70s) are recovering from Covid. I just asked my husband if he wanted to go nigh-nigh.

The nicest part of my day is when I'm on my own, can hear myself think, watch something that isn't PG related and without be questioned throughout the whole film. Silence is bliss 😊

Repeatedly awakened in the middle of the night.

I’ve stayed up all night making a hamburger costume

I cannot remember what 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep feels like nor having room in my bed and it being crumbles. I have vague memories of a waking up naturally!

Any question I ask gets answered with 'You Mama'. Anything I do that I think is cool, someone says 'Bruh' in a condescending tone. I drive the same miles as an Uber, but don't get paid for it. And everything reeks of socks.

I find water bottles in ever crevice and corner of the house, all partially drank. Yet there's 2 offenders, that refuse to claim so it gets wasted.

Of course a can drink tea and eat cookies without actually drinking tea and eating cookies.

When my kids come to visit (they’re in their 30s) and we go out for the day, my bag still gets loaded with hankies, wipes, 1st aid, umbrella or sun cream (or both), purse, masks, sanitiser, mints, carrier bag, water — “just in case” 😂

The very last thing I do before leaving the house in the morning is to get dressed, because the odds are I will get two or three body fluids on my clothes before I make it to the door.

I have asked someone to remove the glow stick from their nose BEFORE coming to the dinner table.