For whatever reason, people tell me everything, things they meant to take to the grave. Before i met my husband and I was still dating, it wasn't uncommon for guys on forst dates to just admit to anything and everything that they've never said aloud-- like cheating to get into their university programme or cheating on their high school girlfriend etc. Even absolute strangers if I looked at them would strike up a conversation and end up just saying everything they've never been able to say. Sometimes this is net good-- an acquaintance telling me that they are suicidal and are going to off themselves that night etc but honestly... it's just too much. My friends used to jokingly call me a truth witch because people would come up to me, teachers, TAs, parents and just... share. I know it must be an empath thing but it really feels like too much just all the time, if it's emotionally exhausting and harmful for my own mental health to know the deepest darkest secrets of everyone in my life.
It wasn't until I was in uni when I actually had someone ask me to look away from them because they found my eyes too intense. I realised that it's something about my eyes. People will look at me and when I'm looking at them they can't really compel themselves to look away and I always have to be the one to break eyeline. Interestingly if I'm in a group setting but lock eyes with someone they will typically tell their secrets regardless of who is around them. That happened at a family gathering where my husband's step-mother's mum (no idea how to phrase that better) just out of the blue broke down crying that her daughter was the product of abuse she sustained hitchhiking to a music festival and that's why she was a horrible mother and could never be there for her when she was young because she was too young herself (paraphrasing, she was very very graphic)... she just unleashed like 50yrs of trauma looking right at me, my husband's step-mum was flabbergasted having never heard this before and no one knew what to say. The moment i looked away from her she apologised, didn't know what came over her and immediately recoiled from it, which absolute broke my heart. I wish i were strong enough to handle so much but I'm really not-- it's all too much sometimes.
I try to avoid eyecontact much with strangers, I honestly just can't handle how trauma they pass to me.